Love is Poison is Love
by varyingdegreesofinsanity
Summary: To love is to destroy. Shiro knows that better than anyone. When he and Keith head out for a weekend of training, things get pretty... heated. Upon their arrival back at the Castle of Lions, Team Voltron finds that things might not be quite like they remember. - - - Based on a role play between a friend of mine and yours truly.
1. Training

Shiro stretched in the dining hall, waiting on everyone. He'd called them down early, so he mentally prepared himself to listen to Lance complain about how tired he was, while Hunk asked if this could wait until after breakfast. Katie would probably survive the meeting and Keith… Well… he wasn't sure how Keith would respond to an early meeting. He probably wouldn't complain. Princess Allura and Coran probably wouldn't mind either, but Shiro didn't care about the complaints he'd get. What he was proposing was important, so much so that it was worth delaying attack plans for the Galra.

Keith was tired. He'd rolled over in bed at the sound of Shiro calling a meeting, then looked at the clock and groaned, burying his face in his pillow. _Too early,_ he thought. Nonetheless, he pulled himself out of bed and got dressed, before heading down to the dining hall. Halfway there, he ran into Lance, who was decked out in his blue robe and lion slippers. "You're a disappointment to us all," Keith said.

Lance scoffed. "Totally not true. I'm awake and I'm coming to a meeting when we never get to sleep in. You're crazy to have gotten dressed." He yawned. "We might even get to go back to sleep afterward.

Keith rolled his eyes. "You seriously think Shiro is going to let us go back to bed? He'll probably have us training from the second we set foot in that room."

They continued arguing as they went down the hall and soon they ran into Hunk, who was also sulking. "Couldn't this wait until after breakfast?" he asked.

Pidge yawned, stepping out from behind Hunk. "I have to agree with Hunk. After breakfast… A late breakfast."

Lance nodded. "Shiro's arm must power him enough that he doesn't need sleep like regular humans. I wonder if he's an alien..."

Keith shoved Lance. "Shut up, you know that's not true."

Lance looked surprised. "Jeez, dude, what is with you? I was only joking. You don't need to be so freaking serious all the time!"

Pidge fixed Lance with a glare. "Lance, you should know that Keith will never not be serious. He's practically a robot. Maybe he is a robot." Then she grinned.

Shiro raised an eyebrow when he saw Lance in his pajamas, but didn't say anything. He just kept waiting patiently for a few seconds. He stood up straight when everyone was finally sitting and reasonably quiet.

"I called you guys in here because we need to find out more about what Voltron and our individual lions can do. Right now the Galra are building weapons, and we need to be ready to take on anything they throw at us. We've learned in previous battles that our lions can do a lot more than we imagined possible. So… we're all going to separate, go to nearby planets, and train solo. Just you and your lion. Allura and Coran, you'll stay nearby to gather us incase we need you."

Lance stared at Shiro in disbelief. "You woke us up at the butt crack of dawn for this?" He stood and started walking away, waving his hand as he went. "Screw this, I'm going back to bed."

Shiro sighed. "Shut your quiznak and listen to me, would you?"

Lance shut up and awkwardly sat down. Pidge frowned. "Shiro, I get where you're going with this, but we need rest. We can't just train all the time. I'm more than willing to go but this really ought to wait."

Shiro frowned. "It can't wait, Pidge. You can rest with your lion, but we need to get the training and bonding down now. The Galra aren't resting. So we really can't delay this kind of thing."

"I agree with Shiro's plan," Allura said.

"Of course you do," Lance muttered.

"Shut up," Keith said, elbowing Lance.

"It's important for the paladins of Voltron to be as close to their lions as possible," Allura said. "The only way for that to happen is to listen to Shiro."

Lance scoffed. "Blue and I are best buds for life, for real!"

"Last time you said that you crashed face first into a sand dune," Keith noted.

Shiro rolled his eyes. "So did you, Keith. All of us need to connect with our lions, as deeply as possible. So, we're all going to go train." He looked at Hunk. "After breakfast..."

Hunk sighed in relief. "Oh thank quiznak, is that how you use that word? I don't know, whatever. Just get me some food goo!"

Allura chuckled a little. "Perfect! Coran will whip up a paladin breakfast to keep you all energized for the day, and then you'll be off!"

Coran jumped up. "Of course. Five Paladin breakfasts, a royalty breakfast, and a smashing breakfast for me!" He hurried off to get everyone some food.

"Keith, I think you should come with me," Shiro said. out of the blue. Everyone turned and stared at him.

"I thought we were bonding with our lions," Lance said slowly. "One on one with them. Why does Keith need to come with you?"

"Because there's some stuff I need to show him." Shiro shrugged. "There are four good planets for us to train on. And I need to talk to him." He went quiet, waiting to eat breakfast and then pack. There was a lot to do with everyone splitting up.

Keith knew why Shiro wanted them to train together, or at least he thought he knew. Shiro kept telling him that he wanted him to lead Voltron if anything happened. This was probably a way to train him. But he wasn't the leader Shiro thought he'd be and he really doubted he'd ever be good enough to lead Voltron.

They all sat down to breakfast, everyone casting Shiro and Keith apprehensive glances. "So we're really just going to have a day to play, while the Galra are still out there doing who knows what to the universe?" Pidge asked.

"We're not playing." Keith answered. "We're bonding with our lions."

Shiro nodded. "And not for the day. Three days."

"Three days?!" Pidge cried. "You can't be serious, Shiro! People are out there risking their lives for this war! My brother-"

"Your brother wouldn't want you rushing into battle unprepared, Katie!" Shiro snapped. Then he looked at the table. "I'm sorry. But as team leader, I have to make this decision. This is something we need to do."

Hunk stared at Shiro. "Um...maybe it'll be ok. We'll have food right?"

Shiro nodded. "I'm not sending us out unprepared. We'll still be able to talk to the Princess and to Coran. We'll have food. I've got most of it ready and next to your lions."

Keith looked at everyone. "If Shiro thinks this is the best thing to do, then it is. We're helping everyone if we can get closer to our lions. So...let's just eat and do what we can to make Voltron stronger."

With some grumbling and complaining, everyone eventually flew off with their supplies and lions. Shiro got into the black lion and closed his eyes, feeling the lion respond to him. He turned on his comms after a moment. "Ready Keith?"

Keith was seated inside his own lion, fidgeting a little with the controls. "I'm ready." Shiro nodded. "Then let's go. Keep up."

He took off, heading to the planet. It was dry, covered in deserts and a thin band of tropics all around the center. He headed for an island with a volcano. Just in case Keith refused to test out the black lion.

Keith followed close behind, trying not to feel nervous. He wasn't sure he was up for leading Voltron. He shook his head. "Nothing is going to happen to Shiro," he said quietly. "Patience yields focus."

Shiro landed his lion and climbed out, watching Keith as he flew. The red lion was faster and more agile than Shiro's, which Keith was more than used to. He was a good pilot, probably better than Shiro. "Nice Keith, you're getting used to how fast your lion is."

Keith landed next to Shiro after another moment and climbed out of his lion. "Okay, dad-" he choked. "Shiro. I meant... Shiro... what next?"

Shiro chuckled. "I want you to try and bond with my lion, Keith. Or do I call you son?" He smirked. "Just in case...so you can lead the team."

Keith stared at Shiro for a moment. "Why do you keep saying that?" he asked. "It's like you're expecting something to happen to you. And if you start thinking like that, you're gonna get careless. I can't lead Voltron!"

Shiro shook his head. "Yes, you can, Keith! I'm only being careful…" He took a deep breath. "Just go sit in the lion. Feel him. I don't know if he'll accept you as his pilot, but, Keith, I want you to try. You'd be a great leader if you just tried."

He folded his arms and watched him, then headed over to the red lion. He looked up. "I'm not going to try to fly you, but I'd like to sit and watch Keith from somewhere a little… safer." He didn't get a response. Still, he could at least sit on top of the red lion, so he started climbing it.

Keith stood in front of the black lion for a moment, then climbed inside. He sat down at the controls and took them in his hands. "I don't want to do this," he said to himself. "This isn't me. I'm not fit to take Shiro's place." In response, the Lion roared. Keith shrieked, startled and scrambled out of the chair. "Don't DO that!" he snapped.

Shiro smiled. He stood up on Keith's lion and watched. "I'm impressed Keith. But why do you hate the idea of leading Voltron one day?"

Keith sat down in the chair again. "Just..." he groaned. "Shiro, I can't do this, okay? I can't replace you if something happens."

Shiro sighed. "You're not me, Keith."

"I know, that's the problem. No one but you can lead this team! Least of all me! I'm the loner. I flunked out of the Garrison, for quiznak's sake!"

Shiro took a step back, then ran and jumped, his lion catching him so he could come inside. "Keith, you have a problem with authority. But that doesn't mean you can't be a good leader." He put his hand on his shoulder. "I'm not planning on leaving but if I don't train someone I trust to replace me, Voltron might suffer."

"Voltron will suffer if you leave no matter what, Shiro," Keith said. "But we'll only suffer more if you leave me in charge. I can't lead this team! There's no way! Ask Lance. Or Hunk. Anyone but me. Please."

"It has to be you, Keith." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Besides, would you really follow Lance's orders?"

Keith sighed. "Okay, fine, you got me. I don't think Lance would be right either..." He shook his head. "But that just drives home that it should be _you_! No one else can lead Voltron like you."

"Keith," Shiro moved over, pulling them both into a sitting position. "There might come a time when Voltron should be led differently. I'm not asking you to lead like me. Or be me. If you lead Voltron, it'll be how you think it should be led." He smiled, then started to stand up.

Keith grabbed Shiro's wrist and held him there. "Why would you trust me of all the paladin's to make the right decisions?" he asked.

"Because I know you best, Keith." He poked him in the forehead. "I know what you're capable of. I know all the great things you can be." He held Keith's hand and pulled him up.

Keith rolled his eyes. "You're crazy, Shiro. You're really crazy if you think I'm the best choice for the job." He looked down. "I don't think I can do it. I'm scared. What if I made the wrong decision? What if I were to do something that hurt the team?"

"Then you pick yourself back up and fix it." Shiro closed his eyes. "If you want to go bond with your lion that's fine. Knowing the black lion accepts you… is enough for me." He opened his eyes and smiled at him.

Keith glanced up at him timidly. "And you... you accept me too? I mean... you really think I could do this?"

He nodded. "Keith, I'd never ask you to do something I didn't think you could do."

Keith sighed. "I want to try it again. Flying the black lion, I mean."

Shiro smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that," he said. "I'll let you have at it, then."

He climbed out of his lion, heading back to sit on Red so he could watch. Keith was a good pilot and he'd be a good leader if anything happened. Shiro felt relieved knowing his lion accepted Keith.

Keith took a deep breath and once again took the controls. "Okay, Black. Show me what you can do." The Black Lion roared again, and this time Keith was proud to say he did _not_ jump. He closed his eyes and tried to feel the black lion. "Okay," he said. "Here goes nothing!"

Shiro watched as Keith took off. It was a jerky movement so he jumped on his comms. "Keith! You're not flying red. Black is bigger and slower. Calm down and focus."

Keith growled. "I'm trying. But like you said, this isn't Red. I'm not meant to do this, Shiro!"

Shiro groaned, exasperated. "Shut up and trust me, Keith. You need to focus. Close your eyes and let the Lion guide you."

Keith rolled his eyes instead. "That is a terrifying notion."

"It's that train of thought that had you crash landing with Lance," Shiro sighed. "Take it slow."

Keith took a short breath. "I don't want to." The Black Lion obliged, landing, then threw Keith out of him.

Keith yelped before he crashed into the dusty ground, then glared at the lion. "You know what?" he snapped. "This is ridiculous. I'm not cut out for this and if even your _lion_ can sense it, then maybe it's time you stop playing the hero and find someone who's actually _worthy_ to fly the black lion! Because news flash, it's not me!"

Shiro jumped down. "He's just tired of you saying you don't want to fly him." He reached down and took his hand. "You're still worthy. Always will be." Shiro pulled him up and stared at him.

Keith locked eyes with Shiro for a moment, feeling his heart race in his chest. After a moment, he pulled his hands away and wiped them on his jacket. When had he gotten so sweaty? He cleared his throat. "You're wrong about me, Shiro."

"Doubt it." Shiro smiled. "Come on, let's get some stuff for a fire. I'll start dinner."

Keith watched as Shiro started a fire and then dinner. He couldn't shake this feeling that he just wasn't right for the job. He didn't trust himself to lead Voltron and he doubted any of the other paladins did either. Still, he kept silent and just stared as Shiro worked.

He stretched unzipping his vest. It was a warm planet. "Keith, set up a tent will you? There's one packed in Red."

Keith gave Shiro a weird look. "Only one?" he asked.

Shiro grinned at him. "It's a pretty big tent, Keith. Don't worry too much about it." Keith was a little uneasy, but he did as Shiro said.

Shiro put the food on plates and sat near the fire when Keith was done putting up the tent. "So, what did you cook?" Keith asked.

"Something resembling food." Shiro winked. "I'm not the amazing cook Coran is."

"Oh yeah. This definitely looks less appetizing than food goo," Keith joked. The food looked a lot better than Coran's cooking. He dug in. "Wow, Shiro. This _is_ worse than Coran's cooking. How did you ever live off this stuff?"

"Eat or die. You get used to it." He shrugged, eating as if nothing was wrong.

"Should've gone with Hunk," Keith joked.

Shiro chuckled. "He is a pretty good cook, that much is true." He leaned back, looking up at the sky. "What's your favorite part about all of this?"

"Do I have to have a favorite part?" Keith asked. Shiro nodded.

"I know there's something you like about this," he said. "There's always a bright side in everything."

Keith thought for a moment. "It's nice to be a part of something that makes a difference. Ever since I was kicked out of the Garrison, I haven't been changing many lives... but... since I joined Voltron, I've felt like... I've done some good." He shook his head. "Sorry, that doesn't make any sense."

"It makes a lot of sense. Fighting for the universe feels a lot better than only fighting for survival." Shiro moved over to him. "Not that fighting for survival is bad." He shrugged.

"And this is a little bit of both, wouldn't you think?" Keith asked. He looked over at Shiro who had gotten awfully close to him. He could smell the sweat on him but it wasn't a bad smell... Keith shook his head to clear his thoughts. _Focus, Keith,_ he told himself.

"A bit of both. I guess. But I wouldn't be a part of Voltron if it was just me." He looked at Keith. "I'm glad you're on the team."

Keith's heart skipped a beat. "I- you- what?" He stammered. Shiro chuckled.

"Literally my right hand." He grinned. "Red isn't a bad color, either." Shiro sighed. May as well tell him why he really wanted to train with him. "So I had a few reasons for coming out here with you." He looked at his lion. "Seeing you fly my lion was a small part. Talking was another."

Keith's heart stopped again. Talking was never good. He wasn't good at it. That's why he was the loner of the group. "I- um... okay..." he managed.

"Keith?" He looked him over. "I...how pissed would you be if I… Oh quiznak." He could sleep outside if Keith freaked out. He leaned forward and kissed him, almost immediately pulling away. There.

Keith was speechless. Shiro stammered for a moment then said, "I need some air" and then walked off. Keith stared after him.

"What just happened?" he asked himself.

Shiro headed to the black lion. That had been the main reason he'd gone to train with Keith, but he was still worried this would mess things up with Voltron. It was hard, and he didn't want to be selfish, but...ugh. this wasn't easy and he'd probably just made it a lot harder.

Keith wondered if he should follow Shiro, but then he saw the black lion take off and disappear. "Ooooooookay... I guess that solves that issue," he said to himself.

Shiro closed his eyes, letting himself think. He hadn't given Keith enough time to react to that, but he was terrified of any reaction at all. This...probably hadn't been a good idea.

Keith watched the sky for awhile longer, then headed into the tent to sleep. He figured Shiro was smart enough to know what he was doing, and if he wasn't back by morning, Keith would focus on bonding with his own lion. As He lay in bed, trying to sleep, he started to feel a little pissed. Shiro had just kissed him out of nowhere and then he ran off with no explanation...

Shiro was going to spend the night in his lion, but the second he thought that his lion took control, flew back, and kicked Shiro out, nearly causing him to land on the tent. He blinked as he turned and looked at the black lion. "Huh… Well… Okay then." He sighed, turning to the tent. "Uhh...still awake Keith?"

Keith was still awake, laying on his side with his back facing the entrance to the tent. He didn't say anything and feigned sleep. He was tired and confused and still pretty pissed off. He didn't want to make things worse by yelling at Shiro so he didn't say anything at all. Just closed his eyes and tried to breathe evenly.

Shiro stuck his head in the tent. It was obvious to him that Keith was faking it, but he didn't want to force him to do anything so he grabbed his things and started setting up outside the tent.

Keith listened as Shiro took his belongings and set them outside the tent. Shiro moved around for a minute more and then it was silent. _Damn,_ Keith thought. _Now I feel like a jerk._

He rolled over to find himself inches away from Shiro's face. He was grinning. "I knew you weren't asleep, Keith," he said.

Keith almost punched him. "What that hell?!" He slid out from under him and sat up.

Shiro winced. "Ah. There's a reaction..."

Keith pushed his hair out of his face. It had a tendency to get messy when he was laying down. "Where did you go?" he asked. "I was worried."

Shiro looked a little hurt. "Didn't seem too worried to me," he said, moving away while Keith composed himself. "So...should I sleep outside or can I take a corner of the tent?"

"Can we talk about something first?" Keith asked.

Shiro shrugged, though inside he was freaking out a lot. "Sure. What is it?"

Keith cleared his throat, then said very loudly, " _Why. The. Hell. Did. You. Kiss. Me. And. Then. Run?!_ "

Shiro coughed. "Because it's easier than being asked half that question." He frowned. "Sorry. I...yeah...that was stupid."

Keith face-palmed. "Yeah," he said. "It was stupid of you to run off. You scared me, Shiro. I really didn't know what to think. And you ran off so fast I didn't even get time to kiss you properly."

At this point even the scar on Shiro's nose blushed. "Wait, what?"

Keith smiled at him. "Come on, Shiro. You didn't seriously think I wouldn't want to kiss you back, did you?"

"To be honest...I had no idea. But the whole...kissing you thing…? Main reason I wanted to come out here with you."

"You couldn't just do that at the castle? You had to send everyone out on separate missions to 'bond' with their lions so you could come out here with me and bond in a different way?" Keith shook his head, a small smile on his face.

"I'm not sure how Lance, Katie or Hunk would feel about the kind of...bonding I had in mind. I know this will affect the team but..." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to see how you felt about it first."

Keith chuckled. "You really are something, Shiro. I don't really know what to say... So I guess I'll just..." and he pulled Shiro in for another kiss.

Shiro grinned. Keith never really knew what to say, but _this_ was perfectly fine. He kissed him back sliding his left hand into Keith's hair.

Keith felt Shiro's hand in his hair, sending electricity down his spine. He jumped a little and pressed himself against Shiro, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist.

Shiro held him, enjoying the feeling more than he could have guessed. Still, he rather reluctantly pulled away after a moment. He let out a slow breath, looking at Keith's face. "Ok, I lied. I only brought one tent in hopes you'd kiss me back." He grinned, lifting Keith's head for another kiss.

Keith was breathless. Did Shiro just imply what he thought he did? Keith melted into Shiro's touch and his kiss, forgetting about everything around them, about the Galra, about the war, about Voltron… everything. Nothing but Shiro mattered.

Shiro picked Keith up so he could lay him onto his sleeping mat, not that he really intended to sleep for a while.

Keith stammered as Shiro roughly lifted him into the air and carried him into the tent. "Shiro-" then he set him down on the mat and crawled on top of him, bracing his arms on either side of Keith's head. He leaned down close and put his mouth next to Keith's ear.

"So...where do we go from here?" He grinned, turning his head to kiss Keith's neck.

Keith was breathless. "Anywhere you want to," he gasped. He reached up and grabbed at Shiro's shirt, trying to tug it off.

He nodded, kissing him again. For sure they wouldn't sleep a while…


	2. Disappearances

Shiro slowly broke a long kiss and rolled off of Keith when they were done. He smiled, running through it all in his head. Meanwhile, Keith stared at the roof of the tent for a really long time, just sort of trying to process everything. He'd... never done that before...

Shiro turned and looked at him when he didn't react to being done. "You...ok?"

Keith nodded, still staring at the ceiling. He was shocked, there was no hiding it. Shocked at how good it felt, shocked at how hot Shiro was and shocked that he did it with _him_ of all people.

Shiro nodded. He was kind of in shock, too. Mostly because he never imagined the scenario where Keith went this far with him. Let alone kissed him back. He pulled Keith onto his chest, realizing exactly how fast he'd moved this. "Sorry..."

"Don't... don't apologize, Shiro," Keith said, finally tearing his gaze away from the ceiling and looked over at him. "I just... wow... you know?"

"I know." He held him. "Just making sure you weren't having an aneurysm." He smiled.

Keith chuckled a little. "No, I'm fine. I just never really thought..." he shook his head. "It's a surprise is all."

"Right. Same for me. Apparently I move really, really fast." He grinned, kissing the top of Keith's head.

"Despite the fact that your lion flies like a slug?" Keith taunted, rolling over until he was on top of Shiro. He snuggled up against him, laying on his chest.

Shiro laughed. "Just because Red flies like he has no brakes… that doesn't make my lion slow."

"Your lion is slow, Shiro. Slower than Yellow, heck it's slower than Lance."

Shiro chuckled. "Lance is pretty quick when he needs to be, just like Black is." He traced lines on Keith's back. "We should get some rest." It'd been a long day, even without getting together.

Keith nodded and rolled back over onto the mat. He laid on his side and looked at Shiro, then reached out and traced the scar on his nose. Shiro stared at him. "Of all the scars you just saw, that's the one you chose?" He grinned, moving over to rest his forehead against Keith's.

"I've always been kind of intrigued by it," Keith confessed. "It makes you look mysterious…"

"You've got a thing for mystery, don't you?"

Keith felt his cheeks growing warm. "Maybe a little. I mean… I did find the blue lion."

Shiro smiled, leaning over to kiss him. "Get some sleep."

Keith nodded and rolled over, closing his eyes. Shiro put his arms around him and buried his face in Keith's back for a moment, then rested his chin over Keith's shoulder. "Thank you, Keith. For everything."

Keith leaned into his touch, relaxing. He eventually fell asleep happy to be in Shiro's arms.

Shiro held him, eventually relaxing and falling asleep as well. Though a few hours later he flinched. He let go and turned over, curling up into a ball. "No…" he mumbled. He could usually control the trauma he'd been through when he was awake, but he'd fully relaxed this time around and when that happened, his dreams centered around Haggar.

Keith jerked away when Shiro flinched and heard him mutter. He rolled over, pushing himself up on his arms. "Shiro," he said. "Shiro, what's wrong? What happened?"

Shiro didn't immediately wake up, still fighting in his head. "Stop. Haggar...stop please." His eyes opened just before he woke up. He sat up and grabbed his head then looked around to figure out where he was. He calmed down when he saw Keith.

"Hey." He took a few slow breaths to try and calm down. "Sorry about that. I'm good."

Keith stared at him. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked finally. Shiro nodded. "Yeah," he said, his voice tired. "I'm... fine... Don't worry about me, Keith."

Keith wasn't sure what to think about that, but he moved over and hugged him. Shiro hugged him back, holding on to him. He wished those dreams would stop but at least this time he had someone to hold after.

Keith heard Shiro's breathing slow down and soon he was asleep in his arms. He wasn't complaining. He held Shiro close, pulling his arms tight around his body. He'd keep Shiro safe. No matter what.

Shiro slept soundly the rest of the night. He even managed to sleep in, just a little. But his nightmares were part of the reason he was up so early every day. The other reason being he was used to it and trained not to waste time sleeping.

When the morning came and Shiro did wake up, he snuggled close to Keith, kissing his cheek. "So, what kind of training should we do today? Flying, trust exercises? We should still bond with our lions."

Keith gave Shiro a smug look. "You mean... what we did last night wasn't bonding with our lions?" he said, his tone false and innocent. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Ha. No. I'd say that wasn't bonding with our lions." He smiled, shoving him. "Not that we can't bond with just each other again."

Keith chuckled. "Imagine what everyone would say if they found out this whole thing was just a plot to fu-"

Shiro cut him off. "You wouldn't tell them, would you?"

Keith smiled kindly and caressed his face. "Of course not. It's our secret."

Shiro relaxed a little. "I know we shouldn't hide things from the team but...I'm not sure how they'll respond to it." He leaned over and kissed him. "And it wasn't just a big plan to fuck you."

"I know that. And jeez, Shiro, language."

Shiro fixed him with a stern look. "Oh yeah? Was that not what you were going to say just now?"

Keith turned red. "Well, no, but... you know what, forget about it. Watch your mouth, dirty bastard."

Shiro laughed. "I just got told to watch my language by _Keith Kogane_ of all people!"

Keith flushed, glared, and shoved him in quick succession. "Shut up."

Shiro laughed. "Alright. Let's just get breakfast and train with our lions.

So they ate breakfast and then Keith headed over to Red. "Keith!" Shiro called. "I want you to try my lion again today!" Keith shook his head. "Your lion spit me out last time, remember?"

"He spit me out too. Doesn't mean we can't both fly him. I'll even try Red again."

"She probably spit you out because you keep referring to her as a he," Keith said.

Shiro shook his head. "He's a boy, I asked."

Keith choked a little. "You asked? You just like... sat down and were like 'hey black, are you a dude?'?"

Shiro nodded. "Pretty much." He sighed. "Maybe you should take time with Red." Keith nodded and kissed his cheek, then Shiro headed toward the Black lion. "See you at dinner?"

Keith nodded. "See you at dinner," he replied. He turned to red. "Guess it's just you and me," he said. "Let's do this."

Shiro did his best to train, though he kept thinking about Keith. Not that this was new but it was different. They'd need to work out how to make this work with the rest of the team. Especially since he didn't really want the others to know. So he flew around, feeling his lion. Trying to connect. As well as thanking him for letting Keith be his pilot as well. That done, he flew back to camp, starting to get dinner ready before it got dark.

Keith on the other hand was having trouble with his lion. He felt as though it was stubbornly refusing to bond with him. He flew back and forth for a few hours before finally landing a ways away from camp and jumping out. "What is wrong with you?" He snapped.

Red didn't respond, and just stayed still. Though it didn't seem impressed that he was yelling. Keith kicked the dust in front of him. "So you're just gonna sit there?" He snarled. "What am I supposed to do? Walk back?"

If Red could shrug he did.

Keith groaned. "You are such a pain!" He snapped. Red roared, then opened his mouth and grabbed him, flying off with him inside.

He tried to take control of his lion but Red was doing his own thing. He flew in the opposite direction from camp.

Keith kicked the floor and hit the chair. "What do you want from me?!" He yelled in frustration. He wondered if Red was mad art him for trying to fly Shiro's lion.

Meanwhile, Shiro watched as Red took off away from camp, disappearing into the distance quickly. "Keith?" He asked, turning on the comms on his helmet. He was met with static.

Red flew towards a volcano, landing inside the top. It wasn't active. At the moment. Steam still settled around it. "What are you doing?" Keith asked the lion. He got no response. He sat back in his chair, groaning, then he kicked the console in frustration.

Red roared, then showed him a vision. This had been the lion captured by the Galra after all. Red showed him the frustration of Zarkon's betrayal of Voltron, and Zarkon taking the lion away from the team in an attempt to steal Voltron over ten thousand years ago.

Meanwhile, Shiro was getting worried. Keith had flown off over an hour ago… there had been no sign of him since and he couldn't reach him on comms.

Keith blinked. "Oh. So...I guess. Yeah that'd be frustrating." He frowned. "I never thought about that. But I won't betray Voltron. Not like Zarkon did. And I won't force you to like me but I'd like to keep flying you. If you'll listen to me." Red shut down the vision and powered back up, letting Keith fly him back to camp.

Shiro was really starting to worry once the sun started to dip below the horizon. Just before it disappeared, the red lion appeared in the distance.

Keith flew back, landing next to the black lion and jumping down. Shiro smiled as he returned. "Have fun?"

Keith glared at Red for a moment, then his glare softened. "Not really. But I do think I understand Red a bit better now."

Shiro smiled. "Then...productive." He held up a plate of dinner. "Want to do anything tonight? Go for a walk?"

Keith was torn. Part of him really wanted to do _things_ with Shiro, but another part of him was frustrated and confused. Apparently Shiro saw it in his face.

Shiro went over and put an arm on his shoulder, then leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Eat up."

"Yeah, okay," Keith said. He ate slowly, more picking at his meal than actually eating it. Shiro noticed.

"Keith?" He move to sit next to him. "What's wrong?" He was worried, seeing Keith shut down like this couldn't be good.

Keith looked away. "Nothing," he muttered. He kept picking at his food, refusing to look Shiro in the eyes.

Shiro put hid arm around him. "Can we please talk?"

"We _are_ talking," Keith said, his voice a little angrier than he'd meant it.

Shiro moved his hand. "Was it something I did?"

Keith brushed him off. "It's nothing, Shiro. Just leave me alone about it, would you?!"

Shiro frowned. "Keith, I'll leave you alone for a while but I can't just let you be upset without helping." He moved away from him and started cleaning up the fire. He pulled his vest and shirt off. It was hot.

"I don't need your help, Shiro," Keith all but snarled. He tossed his food to the ground and stood. "I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight, Keith." Shiro spoke softly. They could talk on the morning.

However, upon waking up the next morning, after a fitful sleep, he found that Keith had vanished. The red lion was sitting where he'd left it the night before, but there was no sign of Keith anywhere.

Shiro bit his lip. Sure, he could track Keith, but if he wanted to be alone so badly that he walked off then Shiro should probably let him. He sighed, getting up and starting to break down camp. He'd wanted to spend the day with him doing ...well doing him. Still, as the sun once again dipped below the horizon, there was no sign of Keith. He was starting to worry…

Shiro had packed everything but the tent. Allura was going to be picking them up in the morning. He jumped into his lion and flew into the sky, running scans to see if he could find Keith. He also jumped on comms. "Keith? Please talk to me...where are you?"

Keith did not answer. Shiro flew around for roughly two hours before finally returning to camp, which was still devoid of any sign of him. "Keith... come on..."

Shiro closed his eyes. How was he supposed to face the rest of the team if he lost a fifth of Voltron's paladins?

Shiro leaned his head back and stared at the sky for a long time, then slowly looked at Red. "Can you find him?" He asked. Red didn't respond for a long moment. Then his eyes lit up. Shiro knew better than to fly him so he stayed in the black lion and followed.

They flew for hours. Shiro was starting to feel like Red didn't know where he was going. But then the lion suddenly nosedived toward the ground. Shiro followed. Upon landing, he could see a form sprawled out in the dust.

Shiro landed next to Red, he grabbed a med kit and jumped out of his lion, running over. "Keith!"

Keith didn't respond. Shiro reached his side. He was unconscious. He didn't seem hurt at all, but he looked really pale. He didn't respond when Shiro shook his shoulder. "Keith!"

Shiro pulled out a cold compress and put it on Keith's back, then ran back and got some water. He pulled off his shirt and dumped part of the water onto it, wrapping the wet shirt loosely around Keith's head. "Come on Keith. Wake up."

Still Keith did not stir. Shiro triple checked to make sure he was breathing. He looked helplessly toward the lions. "Keith. Come on!" Red roared, as did the black lion. Shiro shook Keith a little. "Wake up..."

Shiro was losing hope. He shook Keith as hard as he could. "Come _on_! Keith! I can't lose you!"

Keith moaned a little, his eyes flickering for a second. Shiro let out a sigh of relief and leaned down, gently kissing him. "That's a start..."

Keith shuddered and coughed, then rolled over and heaved into the sand. He braced himself on shaky arms before collapsing into the sand once again.

Shiro helped him sit up. "Careful. Drink some water. Nice and easy."

Keith could hardly sit up on his own. He shook his head. He didn't want water. His hair was covered in sand, as was his back. His face was still white as a ghost.

"Drink." Shiro ordered him.

Keith shook his head, wincing as the movement caused sharp pain in his neck, and pushed the water away. He didn't want any. He groaned. "What happened?" Shiro asked. "How the hell did you end up all the way out here?"

Keith shook his head. Shiro frowned and picked him up. "Come on, let's get you somewhere cooler." He took him into the black lion and turned up the cooling system. He laid Keith on the floor and knelt beside him, once again pouring water onto his shirt and pressing it against Keith's forehead. His skin was hot, but still pale. He opened his eyes and watched Shiro. He was still unwilling to talk, though.

"C'mon, Keith," Shiro said. "Talk to me. What happened to you?" But still Keith remained silent. Shiro glared at him. "You had me worried sick!" He grabbed some more water and splashed it in Keith's face. "You walk off without water or food or anything and manage to get hours from here. What is with you Keith? What's wrong?"

Keith spluttered, the sudden splash of water on his face unexpected. It made him angry. He snatched the water bottle from Shiro and threw it at him, water splashing everywhere. Then he shook his wet hair out of his face.

Shiro made sure Keith wouldn't hurt himself moving so fast, then sat back. "Look, fine, be mad at me. But can I at least know why?"

"You didn't need to throw the water in my face," Keith said, his voice quiet and rough.

"Well you're frustrating sometimes." Shiro watched him, still worried.

"Yeah?" Keith asked. "So are you." He refused to meet Shiro's gaze and instead glared at his shoes.

"I won't argue, but which part of me being frustrating warranted nearly killing yourself?"

Keith glared at him. "I didn't mean to, okay?" he snarled. "It's not like I planned to pass out in the middle of nowhere, Shiro!"

"Dehydration can do that, but why'd you leave?" Keith didn't look up from his shoes but Shiro saw him grit his teeth. "Come on, Keith. Why did you leave?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't know, okay? I don't remember leaving."

"You...don't..." Shiro thought tour a moment. Keith was a better liar than that. And he had no reason to lie. Still, it was hard to believe. "I...Okay. Let's just make sure you get better." He carefully reached for his hand. "I missed you today."

Keith pulled his hand away just before Shiro took it, moving to push his wet hair out of his face, trying to act nonchalant about the action. It didn't fool Shiro.

"Keith? I...we should talk about us. How we're going to handle...us...back with everyone."

Keith shook his head. "Is there an us?" He asked. "We slept together once, Shiro."

"Yeah? And I'd prefer if there was more than once." His chest felt heavy at the idea of it just being a one time thing. "I...you really just wanted it once?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't know, Shiro. This is new for me... I'm not really sure how I feel about it."

"Oh." Shiro closed his eyes, letting himself think. "I guess...okay. Yeah. Can't really force anything different."

Keith felt guilty. He wanted to be with him but… he just wasn't sure how it would work. "It's not that I don't want to, Shiro. I just…"

"You just?" He looked at him. "What we do… what we are is very personal and private to me. I really, _really_ care about you. If you're not sure, I… what aren't you sure about? Can I help?"

"I don't know, Shiro. It's not really something I can explain."

Shiro nodded, looking at the floor. "Okay. I… yeah. I just. Since I want this private can I ask one thing?"

Keith nodded. "Of course," he said. He felt bad. He knew that he wanted to be with Shiro, that wasn't the problem.

"If… you ever want to say how you feel… that… that you care about me. Tell me I'm like a brother to you? I'll do the same." Shiro really wanted to keep this private.

Keith just nodded, trying not to show how upset he really was. He wanted to disappear again. He wished he was still out there in the wilderness. He wished he was back on Earth by himself, where he belonged.

Shiro couldn't look at him. He had no real idea if Keith wanted to be together or not. And as much as Shiro might want him physically, he'd much rather have him somewhat happy.

"I'm going for a walk," Keith said, suddenly, standing.

"Keith, you need to rest." Shiro mumbled. "Maybe… take Red."

"I'm going for a _walk_ ," Keith said again, more forcefully.

"Keith!" Shiro got up and grabbed his arm. "You need to rest! Stop trying to kill yourself!"

Keith turned and looked at him, awestruck. He didn't raise his voice at him often. And he'd grabbed him with an almost painful grip.

Shiro let go of him. "Take your lion, but stop walking at random and stop getting yourself hurt." Shiro took a deep breath. "I'm sorry… if I'm not good enough to talk to that's fine, but I won't let you do something stupid so soon after doing something stupid. Especially when you say you don't know how or why you did it in the first place."

"I'm walking," Keith said stubbornly. Then he stood and walked away. He stopped just outside and looked at his lion for a moment, then passed it with a watched him go. He felt like throwing up with how Keith was acting. This had been a mistake. That was for sure.


	3. Keith's Captured Attention

Red took off, following Keith so closely Keith could probably touch him. He lost his patience with the lion after about 5 minutes and whirled. "Stop following me!" Red moved a couple feet away, but kept following him.

Keith groaned and stomped his foot. _That's immature_ , he thought to himself. "Leave me alone, would you? Go back to Shiro, okay? I'll be fine."

Red roared, flew in front of him, and landed so Keith couldn't walk away.

Keith sighed. "Come on, buddy. I just want to walk and think for a few minutes. Can you please go back to Shiro?"

Red opened his mouth so he could climb inside.

Keith groaned. "No. _N.O._ No. Go away. Leave me alone." Red didn't move.

Keith moved to sidestep the lion, but Red was bigger and faster than him. "Come on!" Keith shouted.

Red stayed in his way. The only way for Keith to get further from Shiro would be if he got into Red and flew him. "You're not listening to me," Keith growled. "I just want to walk for a few minutes. ALONE. I'm not trying to go far! Just go back to Shiro. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Red stared him down.

"What do you want from me?" Keith shouted.

Red opened his mouth again. He wasn't going to let Keith get himself lost and hurt again so soon. Keith groaned. "You want to out stubborn me, Red? Fine. Go ahead and try." And he sat down in the sand in front of the lion, crossing his legs in front of him. Red stayed there, watching him. He was a robot. He could wait plenty long. Even ten thousand years if he had to.

Finally, Keith got tired of sitting there and he laid back, turning his gaze to the sky. There, he lets his thoughts free. He knew how he felt about Shiro. He'd always admired him and loved him like a brother. But recently, he'd been wanting more, and clearly Shiro had as well. But Keith... well... he had a hard time with stuff like that.

Red stayed near him, but let him sit and think without actively trying to annoy him. A few hours went by until Allura and Coran came, picked up Shiro and the black lion, then showed up to get Keith and Red.

Keith had fallen asleep by this point. What could he say? He was exhausted. He figured he hadn't slept much during the night before since he'd walked so far... so he was deeply asleep when Allura and Coran showed up.

Shiro got out of the ship while Red got back on, going to his hangar. He went over and nudged Keith. "Hey sleepy. Ready to go back to Coran's cooking?" He was sad that he had avoided him for the better part of two days. And now he wasn't sure where they stood as friends or more. So he'd just have to pretend everything was normal.

Keith sat up groggily. "What?" He asked.

"Everyone is back to pick us up, Keith." Shiro helped him sit up.

"Everyone?" Keith asked. "Wait, Shiro... I have to talk to you."

"We had time. You didn't want to. Everyone is waiting."

Keith looked at the ground, disappointed and frustrated with himself. He tried not to let it show on his face. "Okay," he managed. Without looking at Shiro, he stood and made his way toward his lion.

"Wait..." Shiro grabbed his arm. "They can wait a little longer..."

"It's not a big deal."

"It kind of is to me." Shiro eyed him carefully. "What is it?"

Keith took a deep breath. It was now or never. He turned and looked at Shiro for a long time, then back at the castle.

Shiro slumped a little. Back to silence already.

"Shiro..." Keith started. But then he looked at a loss for words.

Shiro shook his head. "Nice talk, Keith. Let's head back to the castle."

Keith felt his heart crash down past his stomach and through his feet. He snatched his arm away from Shiro and without another word jumped into Red's open mouth. Then he disappeared.

Shiro slumped some more, then headed back into the castle. He didn't speak to anyone, just heading back to his room. He'd ruined his friendship and possibly ruined Voltron. But mostly he just really wished Keith could talk to him again.

This time, Red didn't seem to want to argue with Keith at all. They shot away from the castle and the planet so quickly even Shiro's eyes couldn't follow. Quickly, Keith was zooming through space, headed... nowhere in particular. Just away from everything that had happened.

He flew for hours when suddenly a Galra ship appeared before him, catching Red in its tractor beam. Red jostled as his momentum was cut short and Keith looked up. "Oh no," he thought to himself. No matter what he did, he and Red could not escape the tractor beam and soon the Galra had pulled them aboard and locked the doors behind them.

Pidge ran to Shiro's when Keith flew off. "Shiro!" She told him what had happened. He ran to the control room. "Track the red lion."

Red was stubborn. And in a situation like this, Keith was grateful. "Open the doors," the Galra soldier outside shouted. Red did not open his mouth. Keith frantically slammed buttons on the console but nothing responded. Even his comms were down.

Allura was already on it. Shiro kept calling out orders. None of them were fast enough. Allura yelled back, "I'm working as fast as I can, Shiro. Yelling can't make me any faster."

The Galra set up a sort of device and shouted again. "Open the doors!" This time, Red obliged and before Keith could even get his bayard, he was swarmed by Galra soldiers. That's when one hit him over the head and everything went black.

Shiro shut up when Allura yelled at him. This...this was his fault.

Upon waking, Keith was pissed. For one thing, the Galra had stripped him of his Paladin Armor, leaving him in only his jacket, t-shirt and cargo pants. For another thing, his hands were behind his back and his legs were bound. And the last, and by far most insulting thing, was the duct tape wrapped around his mouth. Like seriously... where did the Galra get duct tape? He was lying on the floor in the middle of the bridge of the huge Galra battleship, his head pounding as he struggled to move.

When they finally tracked the Red lion to the Galra ship, Shiro's heart sank. He really knew how to mess things up.

"Ok. I need everyone to be willing to be a distraction. I'm going to fly in on my own and move through the ship to find Keith.

At that moment, their screen lit up with a transmission from the Galra ship. "Altean Princess," the soldier said. "On behalf of the Galra empire, I'd like to thank you for delivering your red lion to my ship. We did not, however, particularly want the occupant to accompany it." He moved aside to show Keith, bound and gagged, blood dripping down his forehead and stripped of his armor, lying on the floor, struggling furiously. "If you want him back alive, you shall deliver the rest of the Voltron lions to me. Should you try anything..." the soldier gestured to a drone who stepped forward and pressed something to Keith's side. A loud zap was heard followed by Keith's muffled scream. The Galra soldier moved back to center screen, hiding Keith's writhing body from view.

"Keith!" Shiro and the other paladins called out. Shiro glared at the screen. He couldn't give up Voltron, but he couldn't let Keith get tortured like that. It brought back memories of things that had happened to him.

"You have twelve hours, Paladins. After that, we'll dispose of him ourselves. Or perhaps use him for experiments." Another loud zap and an even louder scream. "The ticks are sliding away," the soldier said. Then he disappeared.


	4. Rescue

Shiro hit the wall. "Damn it!" He yelled. Pidge moved over to his side. "It's okay, Shiro. We'll get him back before anything else happens."

Shiro turned. "He flew off because he's mad at me. This is my fault. I'll get him back. Or trade places. Something."

Keith breathed hard, trying to think through the pain. The other paladins weren't going to come save him. They were too smart for that. He needed to think his way out of this on his own. If he could just move... but no. Every time he so much as shifted the drone sent another shock of electricity through him, scattering his thoughts.

Pidge folded her arms. "No trading. We get Keith. You and I can sneak on together."

Shiro looked at her. "Maybe. But we'll need Hunk and Lance to find Red and clear a path for us to get there." He looked at them.

"What the quiznak did you say to make him run off like that?" Lance asked. "I mean... no offense, Shiro. But you're not _that_ good at pissing people off."

"Can we just agree its my fault and avoid the details so we can focus on getting him back?"

"Let's not go around assigning blame!" Allura snapped. "This will solve nothing!"

Pidge and Hunk agreed. Shiro started laying out plans. They needed to get in, get Keith, get his lion, get out. They just… had to do it without raising suspicion that they were trying to do anything. They couldn't risk Keith getting hurt more.

Keith was exhausted. He had no energy left to struggle and every zap from the drone just made him more tired and exceedingly weaker. He was breathing hard through his nose.

It took far too long in planning for Shiro to be comfortable, but eventually they worked out a way to sneak onto the Galra ship. This wouldn't be easy, but they had to do it. Shiro had to. He needed Keith back more than anything.

The basic plan was something they'd done before. The blue, green and yellow lions were to offer themselves up as a distraction. Shiro would take black and sneak in the back. He needed to get in, get Keith and Red and get out before the Galra realized something was up.

Shiro hated himself for taking the time needed to slip in, but once inside the ship he moved quickly. Knowing the guard routes was priceless information for what he was doing at the moment.

He dashed quickly and silently through the halls toward the bridge. That had to be where Keith was. He peered quickly around corners because dashing further on. Finally, he made his way into the bridge, when he stopped dead in his tracks. There was Keith, looking exhausted and scared, bound and gagged with the Galra soldier holding Keith's blade of Marmora to the red paladin's neck.

Shiro had to act quickly so the soldier wouldn't have time to hurt Keith again. He flew into the room, grabbing the arm of the solider holding Keith hostage and yanked it out of place, then slammed his metal elbow into the soldier's stomach. He then grabbed him and threw him across the room. "I have Keith!" He yelled into his comms so Pidge, Hunk, and Lance would know to start fighting.

When the soldier let go of him, Keith hit the floor with a muffled grunt. Shiro started pulling him away but Keith was struggling. Shiro tried to think fast. Why was Keith struggling against him? Then he saw the Galra soldier stand up, Keith's knife still in his hand. The knife. Of course. Keith didn't want to leave without it.

Shiro stood, prepared to fight the soldier. "I believe you have something that belongs to my friend." Keith was back to struggling at full force again, now that there was no drone shoving electricity into his body. But he just couldn't get free. He groaned, irritated, and looked at Shiro as if to say, 'hurry up!'

Shiro darted forward, catching the Galra soldier by surprise. He hit him hard with his glowing arm, sending the soldier flying backward. Shiro picked the dagger up from the floor, then moved over and started helping Keith break free. "I got you."

Shiro didn't get very far into cutting Keith free before another Galra soldier slammed into him, throwing him across the room. He hit the floor hard, Keith's knife skidding away from him. He hadn't managed to get Keith free yet.

Shiro moved to get up, grappling with the soldier. But this one was a little bit better at fighting than the last one. Not that Shiro couldn't beat him. It'd just take a bit longer.

Shiro swung at him with his Galra arm, the metal glowing purple. The soldier was fast, however, and ducked underneath it at the last moment. Shiro stumbled and saw that there were at least four more Galra in the room now. He needed to get Keith and get out. But almost as soon as he thought that, Keith let out a muffled squeak.

Shiro kept fighting, trying to watch and make sure Keith was okay. But he couldn't get a visual on him. "I need back up. Fast!" Shiro yelled into the comms.

"Okay," Said Lance. As things with Shiro and Keith were exploding into actual crapness, Lance was looking out the window at the black void of space. There was nothing out there. It was just black. And it made Lance sad. He missed his family. It reminded him of the time his mother had hypoglycemia. And his uncle Steve had brought him a puppy.

Pidge was fighting off quite a few ships when Hunk slammed into a bunch, clearing a path for her. "Pidge go!" he yelled, and Pidge took off to head for the main ship to provide some support for Shiro and Keith. Whatever was happening to them, she wanted it to stop. The Galra already had her father and brother. They didn't get to have Shiro and Keith, too.

While Shiro fought off the Galra soldiers, another had appeared behind Keith and snatched him off the floor by his collar. He squeaked as he was lifted into the air, his squeak muffled by the duct tape still tight around his mouth. He needed to call out to Shiro, but he couldn't, and Shiro was too busy fighting to see what was happening.

Pidge flew in with Lance. "Shiro needs more of a distraction! What should we do?"

Keith squirmed as hard as he could as the Galra soldier dragged him out of the room. He felt a familiar surge of energy through his side, accompanied by pain, and he screamed so loud pain seared his throat.

"Keith!" Shiro punched another soldier and grabbed Keith's knife. The scream was more than enough to get his attention and make him fight more.

Shiro wasn't fast enough and soon Keith had disappeared from the room and the doors shut behind them, separating Shiro from him. Shiro had no choice but to focus on his fight. But he called out to Pidge and Lance. "They've got Keith. They're hurting him, you guys need to do something. I'm a little tied up here."

"We're trying, Shiro!" Pidge yelled in frustration, trying to work out a way to break in.

Keith was pissed, to say the least. He didn't want to be separated from Shiro again, and he was very tired of being zapped by the stupid Galra soldier. It was like a thousand volts of electricity starting at his feet and working their way up to his brain scattering his thoughts every time. And then he had to gather them back up again. He was losing time and energy.

Shiro kept slamming soldiers into anything that would hurt and get them out of commission, working on trying to follow Keith.

Then Pidge's voice reached him through comms. "Got it, GOT IT!"

"Got what, Pidge?!" He slammed another solider against the wall.

"Got in!" she replied. "Where is Keith?!"

"They dragged him down the hall. I can't hear him scream anymore." He still gave a reasonable description of where Keith was until he couldn't hear him.

"Where are you, Shiro? What's going on?"

"I'm fighting half the ship, Pidge. Almost free enough to chase after Keith."

"You're not fighting half the ship," Pidge informed him. "That's statistically very improbable. Wait! I can hear him. Lance! STOP IT!"

Shiro let out a breath, glad someone could hear Keith again. "Pidge, Lance where are you guys?"

"We're on the ship," Pidge replied. "Wait... Shiro... Lance, get back here. We've got to get out of here."

"I'm not leaving without Keith!"

"Shiro, we have to go. If we stay any longer they're going to get the other Lions. You need to get out of there and get Keith before we lose anything else!"

"Get your lions and go. I'm not leaving until I have Keith back."

Pidge sighed, but Shiro could tell she knew better than to argue with him. "Lance, let's go. NOW!"

Shiro hit a couple more soldiers then jumped over some and ran down the hall. "Keith!" he yelled for him.

It didn't take long for Shiro to hear him yelling for him, his voice muffled and not at all understandable. "Keith!"

Shiro followed the voice, punching, fighting, and a couple of time cutting Galra soldiers with Keith's knife. He didn't like using it, but it was the best way to hold on and make sure Keith got it back.

Finally, he caught up to Keith. The poor guy was clearly exhausted, breathing hard through his nose, but he was yelling and struggling with the best of them, trying to slow down the soldier carrying him.

Shiro rammed into the soldier that had Keith, catching him when the Galra dropped him. He used Keith's blade to cut him loose, handing it to him. "I think you should have this."

Keith started unwrapping the tape from around his face, tossing it aside. "Thanks, Shiro," he said, his voice hoarse from screaming. "Where's Red?"

Shiro stood him up. "I'm not sure," he said. Keith nodded and moved to step forward, but collapsed instead.

Shiro grabbed him and picked him up. "Got you." He stood up, jumping on comms. "I have Keith, where is the Red lion?"

"Working on it," Lance replied. "Pidge, what's the 411 with Red?"

Shiro heard Pidge sigh. "You know I can hear Shiro too, right?" she said. "Looks like the Red lion is in a hangar not too far from you. I'll send the coordinates."

"Hurry Pidge. We need to get out of here." Black was back with the ship. He'd literally flown in by himself.

When Shiro got the location he started carrying Keith to his lion. Hoping he didn't have too many more soldiers to fight.

Keith passed out halfway there. Shiro could tell because he stopped groaning and just fell completely limp in his arms. "C'mon Keith," he breathed. "Stay with me."

Shiro held him, turning another corner to find Red, shielded up and several Galra soldiers surrounding him. Shiro internally sighed. He was already really hurt from before. Nothing like what Keith felt but he knew he needed time to heal. "Alright. I got this." He held onto Keith with his left arm, ready to fight with his right arm and his legs.

However, as the first Galra solider attacked, Shiro realized that holding Keith and fighting was not a good strategy. He needed to get him to his lion... but why wasn't Red responding to him being in danger? Red was good about coming to Keith's aid when he needed him, but the lion was just sitting there staring.

Shiro didn't really want to set Keith down. He was worried that someone would drag him off again. But he didn't have much choice if he were going to properly fight. He bit his lip, then set Keith down stepping in front of him and doing everything he could to keep the Galra away.

The good news was, these Galra soldiers seemed WAY more focused on keeping Red out of Shiro's hands than on getting Keith back. They left him alone, focusing mostly on Shiro. After all, they already had Red. But if they could manage to salvage Black out of this too?

Shiro kept fighting, but there was only so much he could do on his own. He needed his lion. Or Red to actually do something. Anything. Most of all they just needed to get out.

One Galra soldier got inside Shiro's defenses and knocked him backward, slamming him into the wall. He collapsed, breathless and tried to pull himself to his feet. The Galra beat him to it and grabbed him by his collar, pulling him roughly up. Shiro tried to swipe at him with his Galra tech arm but he was wounded and slow and the soldier deflected it easily. On the floor, Keith was regaining consciousness (a fact Shiro didn't notice because he was a little busy being killed). Keith was out of it, but not so much that he didn't understand what was happening. He reached out for Red, as though calling the lion. Just like that, the shield around the lion disappeared and Red sprang into action. He dove froward, smashing three Galra drones flat as pancakes with his paws and roared. Then he scooped Keith up into his mouth and started toward Shiro. "Good kitty," Keith managed before he blacked out again.

Shiro never really figured out what happened. Just the sound of Red roaring, the crunch of twisting metal, then suddenly there was no Galra trying to kill him anymore and he was inside Red, along with Keith. He tried to get up to go to the pilots seat but fell back down when Red took off, breaking through what felt like half the ship before bursting out into space.

"Are we forming Voltron?" Hunk asked.

"We can't," Shiro managed. "Keith is down, and I'm not in my lion. Does anyone have a visual on the black lion?" "It's here," Allura said. "It returned to the castle just a moment ago."

"Get back to the castle. We need to get out of here." Shiro grumbled, not entirely sure if any words he said made sense. He just hoped Red would fly back on his own.

And then Shiro laid back on the floor, breathing hard. Everything hurt. A lot. And Keith... he looked over at him. He was pale and clearly exhausted, but he was breathing.

By the time Red got back to the ship Shiro was barely conscious. Still he tried to keep telling everyone to look after Keith first. That was until he passed out from the injuries he'd been ignoring until this point.


	5. Something Wrong

Shiro didn't wake up until they released him from the healing pod a day later. He stepped out, lightheaded and looked around. Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Allura and Coran all stood around him, looking grim. "Where's Keith?" he asked. They all looked to Coran.

"We're working on him," he said. "He's gonna take a bit longer to heal."

Shiro rubbed his head. "How much longer is a bit?"

Coran stroked his mustache. "Tough to say. A couple of days?"

Shiro nodded, heading over and sitting next to the pod. "Alright. I'll keep watch so you guys can have a break."

"Um...Shiro?" Pidge bit her lip. "Aren't you healing too?"

"I'm fine," Shiro said.

Allura fixed him with a concerned look. "Shiro, you don't need to keep watch over him. He'll be fine..."

"He ran off because of me. It's the least I can do."

"Shiro, you should really go rest," Lance tried. "Keith is safe in there, he doesn't need a bodyguard."

"I'll be fine guys. I'll even let myself sleep while staying by him."

They all groaned. "You're so stubborn," Lance said.

"I just need to be here so I can fix my mistakes, okay?"

Pidge nodded, though she didn't really believe him. "Okay, Shiro. If that's what you think." So they left Shiro alone with the healing pod, inside of which Keith was dreaming.

Shiro didn't sleep a lot, but had to admit, they were safe. So he let himself sit against the pod, dozing a little.

Keith's nightmare wasn't very coherent. But there were lots of Galra involved and he knew that Shiro was in danger but he couldn't do anything to save him. And for the life of him, he could not wake up.

Shiro jerked awake, then stood and turned to look Keith over. "You don't look like you're dreaming anything fun." He sighed. "I'm sorry I couldn't get to you faster."

Of course, Keith didn't answer. Shiro stared at him for a long time. God, he missed him already. He couldn't bring himself to do anything else though. He'd eat a little if someone brought him food and sometimes he'd fall asleep, but he hated the idea of leaving Keith alone.

It wasn't until four days later that everyone gathered around Keith's healing pod. "Just a few more ticks," Allura said, giving Shiro a reassuring smile.

Shiro nodded. "He hasn't been sleeping well." He frowned. "But it'll be good to have him wake up.

As soon as the pod opened up, Shiro stepped forward, prepared to be the first to give Keith a hug. But nothing happened for a moment. Then Keith's unconscious body collapsed out of the pod into Shiro's arms. "What...?" Shiro asked, thoroughly shocked. "What happened? What's wrong with him?"

Allura moved over to run some tests. "I'm not sure. Coran, help." Coran hurried over to help her.

Shiro laid Keith gently on the floor in front of Allura. "Allura, what's going on?" Lance asked, putting a voice to the question in Shiro's head. He was stunned. He couldn't speak. What was wrong with Keith? What went wrong?

Pidge went over to help Allura and try and make sense of the readouts. Hunk moved to look at Keith. "Hello? Anybody in there?"

Keith did not answer. He looked pale, but Shiro had a hard time telling because his vision was swimming. He stepped back. This was so wrong. Keith hadn't deserved the torture he'd gotten. He shuddered, then turned and started walking away. He couldn't think, he just knew Keith deserved so much better than this.

"Shiro?" Pidge's voice followed him. "Shiro!" He ignored her and kept walking. He headed for his room and collapsed onto his bed. It was so hard to think right now. Everything was messed up. He needed Keith right now, and Keith was hurt because of him.

Lance leaned over Keith, trying to discern what was wrong with him. "He's breathing fine," he noted. He laid his hand over Keith's forehead and snatched it back. "Holy crow! He's freezing!"

Allura went over to him. "He should be the normal temperature for humans. Coran, get some blankets and heat pads."

Coran did as Allura told him and handed the blankets to Lance, who gently wrapped them around Keith. "Any ideas yet?" He asked Allura. She shook her head.

"Give me a few more ticks, then I might. Pidge!"

"Yes princess?" Pidge replied immediately.

"Go check on Shiro. I'm worried about him."

Shiro was in his room, all the lights were off, just the faint glow of his arm cut through the darkness. He needed to think, but he couldn't get past what he should do if Keith didn't wake up soon.

Pidge knocked on Shiro's door. "Shiro?" Her voice reached him through it. "Shiro, can I come in?"

Shiro glanced at the door, then reached over to slap the unlock button on his bed. He didn't want to see or talk to anyone, but he also didn't want to scare them. Shiro didn't isolate himself a lot.

Pidge pushed calmly into the room and stood in the doorway. "Are you okay?" She asked. "It's not like you to run away from things, dad- Er... Shiro..."

Shiro sat up. He wouldn't make fun of Pidge for calling him dad but it still knocked him out of his funk pretty quickly. "I'm just really worried about Keith."

"Well yeah, duh," Pidge said, her cheeks red. Clearly she was embarrassed by her slip up. "We all are. But I thought you'd be up there trying to help."

"I thought being near him would help. But it doesn't seem to. I just need a break, Pidge." He stretched. "How are you doing? How is Keith?"

Pidge looked at the ground. "We're not sure," she confessed. "He's alive though. Allura is trying to figure out what's going on and Lance is taking care of him."

Shiro nodded. "I'm not really needed over there, then." He let out a slow breath. "We have all the lions still, correct? Voltron is fine?"

Pidge fixed him with a strange look, but said nothing. She nodded. Shiro relaxed a little bit.

"Good. Once Keith is back on his feet we'll..." he faltered. "We'll start training again. And find your dad and brother..." He turned away from her. "I need some rest, Pidge."

Pidge looked at him, lost for a moment. Then she turned away and said, her voice full of disappointment, "I'm sorry, Shiro. Goodnight." Then she left the room.

Shiro pulled himself up into a ball and laid on his bed. He felt sick with worry and with his inability to really lead right now. He'd disappointed Pidge somehow. And caused Keith so much pain. It made sense that the Black lion would accept Keith, because he really didn't know why he'd ever accepted Shiro to begin with.

Back on the bridge, they were having little luck with Keith. Lance was feeling his forehead again. "He's still cold," he reported.

"Coran, do something," Allura demanded.

"I'm doing everything I can, princess. But I don't know what's wrong with him!"

"Maybe he's hungry?" Hunk asked. Then scooted away when Allura glared at him.

Pidge returned, looking sad. "Shiro's not taking this very well. I think something must have happened while they were training together."

"Well obviously," Coran said. "Keith wouldn't have just flown off on his own otherwise."

Lance glared at him. "Don't say that in front of Shiro," he snapped. "He doesn't need to think this is his fault."

Pidge rubbed her arm. "Um...I'll see if I can make sense of the scans done on Keith."

A few moments later, Pidge looked up. "Did you get anything?" Lance asked.

"Not much. But… he's dreaming. Coran, can we use those devices we used for training to see what he's dreaming about?"

"That's kind of a violation of privacy," Lance said. "Would you want us to look at your dreams?"

"The thing is," Pidge said, "I can't really find anything wrong with him physically. It's kind of almost like he's just trapped inside his own head. If we can see what's going on, we might be able to help."

Allura sighed. "We can try." She started working.

It didn't take long to get everything set up. They called for Shiro, who was adamant that they not do it. "Shiro, if it could help him... wouldn't you want to?"

"Prying into his mind won't help. He'll resent the breach in his privacy. Keith… needs to let his thoughts stay secret." Shiro looked at all of them. "I won't betray what trust I still have with Keith." He walked out of the room. "I'm going to go train."

They all exchanged looks. "We need to do this if it'll help him," Pidge said. "Maybe just Allura and I should stay."

Lance looked at Hunk and COran. "Uh… yeah. We'll hang out outside…" Lance wanted to object, but Shiro's reaction had him confused and unable to think of a witty response. He headed out with Hunk.

Coran stood his ground. "I will stay and help. We must do anything we can to help Keith."

Allura nodded. "Okay, Pidge. All set then?" Pidge nodded and turned the headset on, fitting it carefully over Keith's head.

Allura helped set up the monitors so they could see why Keith might not be willing to wake up just yet.


	6. Shatter The Wall

At first the image on the monitors was fuzzy, like Keith wasn't willing to share. But as they watched, it became clearer. Keith sat in a dark room, bound and gagged, a man in Galra armor standing over him.

Allura winced. "He's reliving what happened to him. I would think that would make him want to wake up." Coran nodded in agreement, looking over the screens.

Pidge squinted. "I don't think so," she said. From what we can tell, he was taken straight from his lion to the bridge. There are no rooms that look like that on the Galra ship we intercepted…"

"Nightmares don't fully re-create what happened, Pidge. He's only reliving the worst of it. He was alone on the ship. He had no allies and endured a lot of pain. That may be all he can remember."

Pidge shook her head. "No. This tech is advanced enough to recreate things in perfect quality. This is something we don't know about yet." And at that moment, the man in Galra armor turned around and- "Shiro?" Pidge gasped.

Coran's eyes and mustache widened. "Maybe this is why Shiro didn't want us looking at his dreams."

"Coran there is a deeper meaning to all dreams. And Shiro does have gala tech for an arm."

On the monitor, Keith struggled once, hard. His body in front of them jerked. "That's so strange," Pidge said. "It's almost like he's literally trapped in is mind…" She looked to Allura. "Is that possible?"

"It is. And its not easy to break out of. We should tell the others. Maybe they can help…"

"How could they help?" Pidge asked. "Can Keith escape on his own?"

Allura looked a little uneasy. "It... depends..."

"On what?" Pidge folded her arms.

The Shiro on the monitor suddenly lashed out at Keith, striking him hard across the face. The Keith on the floor started to bleed, the light cut appearing across his cheek. "Does he know he's dreaming?" Pidge asked, visibly shaken.

"No... that makes it more difficult," Allura said.

At some point Shiro started back to see what Allura and the rest were seeing. He stood at the door, a horrified look on his face as he saw himself strike Keith. His head dropped and his shoulders slumped. "That's never happened." He spoke weakly. "And I don't know why he'd dreaming that I'd do that to him."

"He's not... dreaming," Pidge said. "Not exactly, anyways..."

"It's a dream Pidge. Even if he thinks it's real. Though...I'm not sure I should be a part of Voltron if this is what Keith thinks."

"Here's the thing, Shiro. What happens to him here happens to his body in real life," Pidge explained. "That's not a normal dream."

"Of course it's not normal." Shiro watched himself hit Keith. "I...wake him up."

Pidge gritted her teeth, trying hard not to yell at him. "We _can't_ , Shiro," she told him. "He's... stuck... and we can't get him out. He needs to fight his way out on his own."

Shiro glared at Allura. "What is going on? How could this happen?!"

Allura stood her ground. "You've been tortured Shiro! You know how this could happen!" She stared him down. "Keith never has and he's coping with it. He'll fight and wake up! But you just running around yelling and freaking out isn't helping!"

Shiro stopped, then looked at Keith. "Then what am I supposed to do? I...I caused this..."

Pidge shook her head. "You guys aren't listening to me, or watching what's going on! This isn't natural! It's not just some function of Keith's brain trying to accept what happened to him. Dreams don't have physical retributions. When you get hit in dreams, your body doesn't suffer any damage. But look!" She gestured as the Shiro on the monitor struck Keith across the ribs, the blow swift and clearly painful. Keith's body on the floor twitched and blood slowly began blooming on the edge of his jacket.

Shiro clenched his fist, hard enough that his nails cut into his skin. "Pidge how do we wake someone up from that?"

"We don't," Pidge said matter-of-factly. "As far as I can tell, there's nothing we can do for him. He either gets out on his own, or not at all."

Shiro nodded, stumbling backward a little. "I...ok. I should...go."

"Shiro, don't you think you should... Shiro!" Pidge called after him, but he ignored her and disappeared.

He wasn't about to run off like Keith did, but Shiro needed to get away from watching himself beat the shit out of Keith. He headed back to his room and locked the door, turned off the lights and sat with his head in his hands.

 _Keith, meanwhile, was panicking. As Shiro loomed over him, his Galra hand glowing deep purple, Keith once again tried desperately to escape his bonds, but they were too tight. He tried to speak to Shiro, but the tape over his mouth was immovable._

The real Shiro curled up into a ball. So many memories were flooding in and out of his mind. What was happening to Keith hurt more than any of his memories of being tortured himself. He wished he could go into Keith's head and beat up the Shiro that was hurting him.

"C'mon Keith," Pidge muttered to herself as she watched him struggle on the monitor. "C'mon."

Allura put her hand on Pidge's shoulder. "We'll be here for him. And mend his wounds as best we can until he wakes up."

 _Keith felt sharp pain flare through his leg as Shiro struck him again, but pain faded quickly, as if in a dream. But Keith had considered that already. He'd tried waking himself up, but it hadn't worked. It couldn't be a dream._

Allura went and tended to Keith's leg, following the video to know where Keith would need medical treatment.

 _He tried yelling again, he could feel the tape peeling off of his mouth slowly. He struggled in earnest, and finally managed to get his mouth free enough to yell, "Shiro!"_

Allura jumped, looking at Pidge. "That's an improvement." She kept working on his wounds.

 _"Shiro!" His voice was hoarse; it sounded strange in his ears. He gasped. "Shiro, please. Why are you doing this to me?" Shiro's eyes glared down at him, deep purple, like the color of his Galra arm. He reared back to strike again. "Shiro!"_

Allura looked at Pidge. "Go get Shiro. Drag him back if you have to. I don't care how much he wants to pout. He should be here to help Keith."

 _Pain was sharp and immediate in Keith's mouth and chest as Shiro struck again. This time, Keith's scream was understandable and very very loud. He could hardly breathe. "Shiro," he gasped._

Pidge nodded, running off to get Shiro. She hit the door to his room. "Shiro open up!"

Shiro looked at the door. "Not now Pidge."

Pidge hit the door again. "No, you come out now. No more sulking. This isn't like you and Keith needs you. Come on, Shiro. Please."

 _Keith pushed himself back against the wall, using his legs to maneuver himself. "Shiro. What is this about? Why would you do this to me?" he asked, his voice full of betrayal and pain._

Shiro took a deep breath. He couldn't say no to Pidge. He was the closest link she had to her family and he… felt like he needed to be her big brother until they got Matt back. "Yeah… yeah ok." He took another slow breath and headed out of his room.

Pidge grabbed his arm and pulled him back to Keith and Allura.

 _"You lied to me," Shiro said, bearing over Keith with an almost palpable hatred. "You told me you loved me. You lied."_

 _Keith shook his head. "No, that's not the reason. You would never do this to me over that. I…"_

Allura blinked at the line. Pidge and the real Shiro having just missed it as they came back into the room.

Shiro went over, looking at Keith, trying his best to ignore the video. "Is he alright?"

"Shh, Shiro just… um… perhaps just listen."

 _Keith kept Shiro talking while he caught his breath. Everything was painful. He could feel blood seeping through the many wounds Shiro had inflicted upon him. "Tell me what this is really about," he demanded._

 _Shiro shook his head, reaching for the tape still sticking to Keith's cheeks. "You didn't love me," he said._

Shiro paused. What? This is...what Keith imagined him like? He looked at Allura and Pidge. "Out. Get out."

Pidge hesitated, looking between him, the screen, and Allura.

Allura nodded. "Come on, Pidge. We should go check on everyone and get something to eat." She walked Pidge out of the room.

 _"No," Keith managed, jerking his face away from Shiro's hand. "No, you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't-" But bad Shiro pressed his hand over Keith's mouth, re-sticking the tape. Keith shook his face away from him and glared at him._

Shiro waited until the room was empty, then grabbed Keith's hand. "That isn't me, Keith. Please wake up so we can talk. That isn't me at all."

 _The Shiro in Keith's dream pushed away from Keith furiously, turning and pushing his hands through his hair. "I told you how I felt!" he snarled. "I told you and you…" he shook his head, chuckling bitterly. Keith looked heartbroken and weary as he looked at Shiro. This wasn't the Shiro he knew. No way._

Shiro kept a hold on Keith's hand. "Can we please talk about this when you're awake and… can actually talk to me?" He frowned, brushing hair away from Keith's face.

 _Keith pulled hard on his bound hands. He had to know why Shiro was really doing this, but the tie was too secure. Pain shot up his arm as he agitated the wounds there. "I just wanted to be happy with you, Keith," Shiro said, looking at him again. "But you lied to me." Keith shook his head, his eyes pleading._

Shiro took Keith and gently shook him. "Come on, wake up. Or beat me up. So something more than listen to this crap! Keith wake up!"

 _Keith tried to talk to Shiro again, but his voice was muffled. He pressed his back against the wall, and slowly, painfully, pushed himself to his feet, his back sliding up the wall._

"You got this Keith. Please fight." He glanced at the video screen. He wanted to turn it off but at the same time… he needed to fight the version of himself Keith had created.

 _Keith was unsteady on his feet, but he stayed up, breathing hard through his nose._ His eyes were sad, but they had a sort of fire in them, real Shiro noticed.

Shiro smiled through his worry. "Thats you. Now beat me up." He held onto Keith's hand, mentioning some of his weak points when it came to fighting. He didn't know if it would help Keith in his dream, but he hoped it would.

 _This wasn't Shiro, Keith told himself. Shiro would never do anything like this to him, not solely because he didn't love him. And anyway, it didn't matter. He did love Shiro. But... he ducked, quickly yanked out of his thoughts as Shiro swung at him, burying his glowing arm in the wall._

Shiro stopped talking. "Ok, I'm not even sure I can do that." He sighed, leaned over and kissing Keith on the cheek. "Come on. Just rip off my arm and beat me with it." Wouldn't be the first time, but Shiro would actually enjoy watching that happen this time.

 _Keith rolled, ducking underneath Shiro's arm as he tried to yank it out of the wall. He struggled a little to get back on his feet, what with his hands behind his back, but he managed it. He turned to the door but... there was no door in the room. How the hell...? Sharp pain bloomed across the back of his head as Shiro caught him with his human arm, sending him staggering forward against the wall._

"Rip that arm off, too. I don't need it." Shiro stayed with him, quietly cheering him on.

 _Keith had no idea what to do. Shiro wasn't like this normally. And with his hands behind his back, he couldn't do much. He snarled against the tape over his mouth._

Shiro stayed by him, holding Keith's hand and trying to figure out this version of Shiro's fighting style so he could maybe help Keith fight him.

 _Keith had an idea. He had no idea if it would work but he needed to try it. He gave up on freeing his hands. It just wasn't going to happen. Not right now. He leaned against the wall, trying his best to look exhausted and like he'd given up. Hopefully Shiro was messed up enough to fall for it._

Shiro watched Keith, wincing as he saw him give up. But he looked in his eyes and relaxed. Just a ploy. He smiled, hoping it worked.

 _Keith discreetly adjusted his feet as Shiro moved closer. 'Fall for it,' he thought. 'Just fall for it.' Shiro took another step forward, then another and then he was in reach. Just as he saw the look in Keith's eyes and realized that he was just playing him, Keith kicked him in the chest as hard as he could, using the wall as leverage._

Shiro cheered when the fake Shiro took the kick. "There we go, Keith. Fight him until you can wake up."

 _Fake Shiro staggered backward, the force of Keith's kick overbalancing him. Keith hoped he'd fall, but he managed to stay on his feet. Fury was bright in Shiro's eyes._

"Come on Keith. Beat me up. Kill me if you have to just...wake up when you're done."

 _Keith's short-lived victory quickly turned into fear as Shiro approached him. He was sure he wouldn't fall for the same trick again. 'Come on, Keith. Think. Patience yields focus. Think.'_

Shiro sat, watching. The more he saw himself in Keith's dream the more he hated himself, but he was so proud of Keith for following this thought process. It was an odd disconnect, but mostly Shiro just wanted to see Keith win and wake up so they could talk.

 _Shiro swung at him again, but this time Keith was ready. He turned and shifted at the last second and Shiro's glowing arm sliced right through the rope on Keith's wrists. He cut the skin too and his arms started to sting and bleed, but at least they were free. He pulled them forward, trying to shake feeling back into them._

Shiro jumped to action to wrap Keith's wounds on his real body. "Come on. You're doing great."

 _On Shiro's next swing, Keith dodged and tried to hit the bigger man first, but his arms were weak and tingling as blood started flowing again. He was slowly and his hit didn't do any damage. "You left me," Shiro accused him, breathing hard._

Shiro kept himself busy, working to keep Keith in one piece.

 _Keith shakily reached up and pulled the tape off of his mouth, tossing it aside disgustedly. "I didn't," he said. "You know that, Shiro. Tell me what's really going on."_

"It'd be a lot easier to tell you if you were awake." Shiro sighed, gently rubbing Keith's shoulders.

 _"Are you afraid of me, Keith?" Shiro asked._

 _Keith bit his lip. "Right now? Hell yeah. But that won't stop me from finding out what's really on your mind. Tell me the truth, Shiro. Don't lie to me!"_

"Talking is good. Better than me trying to kill you." He closed his eyes for a second, trying to stay calm. Every time he heard himself speak with contempt he wanted to violently shake Keith until he woke up. But Shiro knew that wouldn't help.

 _Shiro growled, the sound low in his throat, and he charged at Keith, who stumbled backward with a cry of surprise. His head slammed into the wall hard and he slumped on the ground, fighting to stay conscious._

"Woah. Woah." Shiro lifted Keith's head to check for damage. "Wake up, please."

 _Keith tried to stand up but his vision was fuzzy and his head was spinning. He laid in front of Shiro as he approached him. "Please," Keith said, tasting blood in his mouth. "Please."_

Shiro wished he could go in to Keith's head and beat himself up. "Wake up. Then we can talk. No punching, I swear."

 _"Shiro would never do this to me," Keith continued, his voice growing smaller with every step Shiro took toward him. "Shiro would_ never _do this to me." He coughed and red glistened on his lips. His tongue darted out and lapped it up quickly. "Shiro..."_

"Wake up, Keith. You can do this." Shiro dabbed the blood from his mouth, then gently leaned over and kissed his lips.

 _"You're not Shiro," Keith managed. "You can't be Shiro. You're a Galra clone or something... anything... You can't be the real Shiro... He would never..." His voice died in his throat as Shiro leaned down close to him, his lips just inches away from Keith's. Despite everything, Keith wanted to kiss him._

He quickly pulled away, "Come on. If that doesn't wake you up then every kids book in the world is full of stupid lies." He sighed, trying not to laugh at his very stupid very Lance like joke.

 _Keith tilted his head up, acting on a whim, and tried to catch Shiro's lips with his own. Shiro noticed and pulled back, pressing his hand over Keith's mouth and holding Keith's head against the wall. "Uh uh uh," Shiro chided._

Shiro went back to holding Keith's hands. "Come on."

 _Keith didn't move. He just kept his eyes on Shiro, begging him to be faking. Begging all of this to be false._

"Keep focusing. This isn't real." Shiro wasn't sure this was working, but at least the Shiro in Keith's head wasn't beating him up anymore.

 _Keith gave up on trying to appeal to "Shiro"'s humanity, Clearly it wasn't working. He squirmed underneath Shiro's weight, but Shiro merely slammed his head back against the wall, making him see stars._

"Oh Quiznak." Shiro mumbled. He'd spoken too soon. "Keith, just wake up."

 _'Keith, just wake up!' Keith screamed in his head. This had to be a dream. There was no other explanation. But then why wouldn't he... Shiro moved again and his thoughts were scrambled as Shiro grabbed a fistful of Keith's hair and held his head up and pressed his lips firmly over Keith's._

Shiro tilted his head. "Uh… I'd still prefer that you were awake."

 _Keith didn't want this anymore. He knew this wasn't Shiro. Shiro would never force him to kiss him, but as Keith struggled, Shiro tightened his grip in his hair, yanking him forward._

"Woah. Stop!" Shiro stood up, starting to yell at… himself.

 _Keith mumbled his own protests against "Shiro"'s mouth. At least he wasn't doing anything worse than this, he thought to himself._

Shiro kept yelling at the Shiro on the screen. This wasn't okay.

 _Keith's hands scrambled for anything to grab onto to push or pull Shiro away from him and finally his hand hooked on the back of Shiro's Galra armor, where there was a small nook. He grabbed it and yanked, trying to get Shiro off of him_

 _Keith finally broke away from the kiss and Shiro tossed his head aside, releasing his hair. "You're not Shiro," Keith growled. "You're not Shiro and I'm going to find out where he is. Let me GO!"_

Shiro jumped when some of the machines beeped. He had no idea really what they meant. But he was hoping that meant he was waking up.

 _Keith pulled himself to his feet once again, this time leaning heavily on the wall. But he looked more determined than ever. "Let me out," he snarled_

"You can do this." Shiro looked at the machines. "Just… wake up. You're almost there."

 _"I can't do that, Keith," Shiro said, wiping some of Keith's blood off of his own face_.

"Oh shut up," Shiro mumbled to himself. "Just wake up."

 _"Why not?" Keith asked, his voice louder. "How much more of this do you think I can take?"_

 _"It depends," 'Shiro' said. "How much more do you think YOU can take?" Keith looked at him confused. "Just let me go. I have to find Shiro."_

Back to talking. He still hoped that meant improvement.

 _Keith staggered against the wall, bracing himself with his bleeding arm. "Get out of the way. Let me go."_

"Get him, Keith. Make him let you wake up."

 _Keith took a deep breath. "Fine. If you're not going to move, I'll do it." He pushed himself off the wall and moved staggeringly toward 'Shiro'. Halfway there, he tripped and collapsed, and he felt himself falling through empty space._

"Keith?" The computers went crazy. "Keith!" He shook him just a little. "Come on. Wake up. Please."

Everything was pitch black. Keith couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. What…?

"Keith, please. I'm right here. The real me. Just wake up so we can talk. I need to know you're okay."

 _Keith could hear someone talking, but the voice was funny and garbled. He couldn't understand a word of it. But it was something, so he held onto it._

"Come on Keith. You're stronger than this. Please." He kissed his cheek again. "Please."

Keith's body convulsed underneath Shiro once.

"Keith?" He pulled him up, starting to unhook the stupid cables that let him see into Keith's head. "Come on. You're so close."

 _Keith finally managed to pull himself up, shaking off the paralyzing fear of falling. He was in a small room, black walls surrounding him and blocking out any light. He slammed against the wall once, hard._ In Shiro's arms, Keith's body jerked again.

"So close Keith." Shiro held him. "I'm right here."

 _"Let me out!" Keith yelled, slamming his fists against the walls furiously._

"Come on." Shiro felt a little better not seeing what Keith was watching. As much as he hated it, this was Keith's fight. He'd just have to help him as best he could out here.

 _Keith's fists were screaming in pain, but he didn't falter, didn't stop. He knew that if he could just get past these walls. He'd be free._

"I'm right here when you need me, Keith. I won't leave your side."

 _He pounded on the wall hard, imagining it shattering under his touch. On the next hit, he heard it crack._

Shiro laid on the bed next to him. "I'm right here, Keith." Next to him, Keith gasped. He was still unconscious but he gasped.

Shiro turned and looked at him. "Okay...that's different."

 _The wall cracked. "Almost there," Keith panted. "Almost." He hit the wall again. "There!"_

Shiro slid off the bed to look at him. "Keith?"

Keith coughed, and more blood appeared on his lips. His eyes were still closed, but he was closer. Shiro could sense it

Shiro got another cloth to clean up Keith's face. "Come on, Keith. I'm right here."

 _One hard hit. Another. Keith was exhausted. "Break, damn it!" He staggered. "One more," he muttered. "One more."_

"You can do this. Open your eyes Keith. I swear I'm right here. The real me."

 _The wall shattered silently, but Keith felt it fall apart_. He sat up straight, bolt upright, scaring Shiro so badly that Shiro yelled and scrambled backward.

He took a second to compose himself. "Keith… you awake?"

Keith looked around rapidly, a little disoriented. He was breathing hard, feeling the sting from the injuries all over his body. His hands were sore and his left one felt broken. He looked at Shiro. "I think so?" He said, unsure.

Shiro let out some of his tension, then hurried back over to him and kissed his cheek. "Good. We need to talk… Everyone is really worried about you. And… well… you kind of beat yourself up. I'm sure Allura can help you heal a little faster."

Keith laid back on the bed, exhaling slowly. "Slow down, Shiro. What happened?"

"We brought you back to the ship. You were put into a pod and didn't wake up for four days. Then you… didn't wake up." Shiro frowned. "You had to fight your mind, but the injuries manifested themselves as being real."

"What?" Keith asked, sounding more tired than anything. "If I had to fight my mind then… I'm stronger than I thought."

"Yeah you are." He smiled. "You've always been stronger than you thought."

Keith closed his eyes and hissed between his teeth. Everything hurt. "I think I broke my hand," he managed, his voice tight with pain.

"I'll get Allura, she'll help set the bones and get you wrapped up." Shiro started for the door.

"Shiro?" Keith's voice stopped him. "Did you see?" Shiro bit his lip and nodded. "I know that's not you, Shiro," Keith continued, his voice rough. "I know you'd never do that to me."

"I..." He stopped walking. "I made Allura and Pidge leave. I didn't want them to look in your head. But yeah… I saw."

"I know that's not you," Keith repeated. "You'd never do that to me. I don't know why… I thought…" he winced. It hurt to think about.

"Can we… should we talk so you won't... keep thinking that?"

Keith shook his head gently, his raven hair plastered to his forehead with sweat and blood. "I'm tired, Shiro."

Shiro slumped a little. "Alright. I'll... get Allura and Pidge and tell everyone you've woken up. We can talk when you want to."

Keith nodded appreciatively. "I'm sorry, Shiro," he managed.

"I'm not upset Keith. I'm really glad you're awake." He gave him a smile, then hurried out of the room.

Pidge and Allura rushed back first. Allura started helping wrap up the last of the injuries.

Keith didn't move much while Allura did this. He kept his eyes closed and more than half the time, Shiro wondered if he'd fallen asleep. Then he'd shift in order to allow Allura better access to an injury.

Everyone came back in to check on him, though Shiro made sure they didn't stay too long. Keith needed rest after all.

Finally, with bandages covering more than half of Keith's visible skin, everyone but Shiro left him alone. He sat down next to him.

He looked at Keith. He wouldn't pressure him to talk again. Though he was rather anxious about Keith going to sleep and having to fight his way out again. "I'm glad you were able to wake up."

Keith chuckled quietly. "Yeah, me too. You really know how to pack a punch."

"Well… yes, but that wasn't me." He gently patted Keith's undamaged hand.

Keith shifted and caught hold of Shiro's hand before he could pull it away. He held onto it, not opening his eyes. "I'm sorry, Shiro," he said again.

"Stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong." Shiro held onto the hand. He desperately needed to know that Keith didn't hate him.

Keith shook his head again. "It's my fault this happened. If I hadn't ran away…"

"You needed to clear your head. That's how you've always cleared your head." Shiro leaned over and laid his head near Keith's. "I just… forgot to be patient with you."

"The first time, yeah, clearing my head, whatever. Maybe that's why I disappeared. The second time, maybe. But three times, Shiro? It was a stupid move. So when the Galra got me... I guess I figured I deserved it. I shouldn't have dragged you and the team out to come get me. I should've been stronger."

"Sometimes we make mistakes. Your friends, all of them, are here to help correct them."

Keith shook his head again and opened his eyes, which were misty. "Someone could've gotten hurt. We could have lost Voltron… all because I ran off without thinking."

"Because I got upset that you wouldn't talk to me. I'm sorry I lost my temper."

"It's not your fault, Shiro." Keith sighed loudly.

"Relax, Keith. You need to rest."

"I know. I just…"

Shiro took a breath. "If I kiss you will you feel better?"

Keith shrugged. "I don't think it could hurt," he said. Shiro quickly moved to lean his head over Keith's. He looked into Keith's eyes for a moment before pressing his lips against Keith's. In that moment, Keith stiffened, his whole body becoming tense.

Shiro quickly pulled away at the response. "I should let you sleep."

"Shiro," Keith said quickly. "Don't… I just… panicked for a second. It's just that… when I was out… I…"

Shiro nodded, a sick feeling in his stomach. "I know," he said. "I saw." He pulled a blanket over Keith. "Just rest. We'll figure it out."

Keith nodded reluctantly.

Shiro sat back next to him. "I won't leave you. Just rest."

Keith closed his eyes, but he was a little afraid to fall asleep. What if he got stuck again Shiro grabbed his hand and held it.

Keith took a deep breath. He escaped once. If it happened again, he'd escape again. He tightened his grip on Shiro's hand. "I love you, Shiro," he whispered.

"I love you too, Keith." He rubbed his hand. "Get some rest, I'll be right here no matter what."

Keith barely heard Shiro's last words as sleep crept up on him and tackled him into blackness.

Shiro stayed by him, refusing to sleep or eat or anything. He just wanted Keith to get better.


	7. You've Got To Eat, Keith

Several hours later, Keith opened his eyes to find Shiro sound asleep beside him, wrapped in the blanket he had initially brought for Keith.

Shiro didn't remember falling asleep. But he didn't wake up when Keith first stirred.

Keith rolled over and gingerly put his feet on the floor. He was hungry and tired of laying down. He struggled to stand up, then wobbled a bit once he was up. He grinned as he steadied himself. Then he took a step and his legs gave out underneath him. He crashed to the floor with a yelp and a heavy thud.

Shiro jerked awake and jumped up, quickly locating Keith and helping him back into bed. "Really?" He looked him over. "Keith you're still healing."

Keith pulled himself out of bed again, ignoring Shiro.

"Keith, what are you trying to prove?" Shiro put his hands on Keith's shoulders, holding him down.

"That I'm strong enough to stand up from this," Keith told him.

"You just hugged the floor. Take it easy."

Keith's cheeks turned bright red. He pushed Shiro's hands off of his shoulders. "I have to do this."

"Where are you trying to go?"

Keith looked at him. "I have to prove to myself that it takes more than a dream to knock me down," he said.

"I… but you're still healing from the other torture."

"I'm fine, Shiro. I spent four days in a healing pod; I'm not healing from that anymore."

"Alright. But let me catch you this time."

He nodded and Shiro released him. Keith stood up again, trying incredibly hard not to wobble or falter. He couldn't fall. Not this time.

Shiro let him walk on his own. Keith's stubbornness could power a ship. He staggered a little as he walked and put his hand against the wall, steadying himself.

Shiro smiled. "You really are stubborn sometimes." This time it was a compliment.

Keith chuckled, but the laugh quickly turned into a cough and his hand slipped on the wall. He crashed to the floor for the second time, this time his yelp even louder.

"Shit." Shiro hurried over and helped him back to bed. "Maybe that's enough for now."

Keith pressed his head back into the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut. "This sucks," he said.

"Yeah." He sat next to him. "Hungry? I'm sure Coran can fix up something reasonably edible for you to get stronger."

Keith just shook his head. In reality, he was extremely hungry. But he had no appetite.

"You sure? Remember, he cooks better than me."

"Not hungry," Keith mumbled into the pillows.

"…okay…" Shiro sat back, ready to watch him rest again.

Keith was restless and kept flipping over and groaning as the movement agitated some wound or another. Shiro sighed, unsure if he should leave him alone again or not, but Coran came to check on them before Shiro could decide.

"Time to eat! I've got good easy food for the two of you. Both of you need it while you heal up and get stronger."

"Thanks, Coran," Shiro said, shooting a glance to Keith, who was laying face-first on the bed, his face buried in the pillow.

Coran looked at Kieth, raising an eyebrow. "Is this how humans best rest for healing?"

Shiro shook his head, sighing. "No," he said. "Keith. C'mon buddy."

Keith mumbled and eventually flipped over, but still didn't eat anything.

Shiro sat back, his food in his lap and just stared at him. He wondered what was going on inside his head. Then he wondered if he really wanted to know.

Coran went over. "Healing humans have to eat. That much I do know. Come on Keith, it's good."

He shook his head and didn't even bother looking at him.

Coran frowned. "I know you don't always like my cooking but you do need it. Now I won't leave until you eat."

Keith just grunted, mumbling into the pillows, "Guess you'll be here forever."

Coran shrugged. "I've got the time. I'm over ten thousand years old after all." He grabbed a chair and sat down.

Shiro sighed. "Keith, please just eat a little."

"Not hungry," Keith muttered. Shiro glanced helplessly at Coran, who shrugged.

Coran nodded. "Alright, if you won't eat, we'll hook up a feeding tube to you." He walked over and started setting up for the procedure.

Keith didn't even stir at the mention of feeding tube. Shiro stood. "Hold on, Coran," he said.

"Keith has to eat to heal. I'll speak with the Princess for a moment, but if he doesn't eat, he get's a feeding tube."

Shiro nodded. "I… understand." He looked at Keith once Coran left the room. "Can I help? In any way? What's wrong?"

"Stop pestering me about food," Keith muttered. "If I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry."

"I'm not asking about food. I'm asking to help you. Please, Keith."

"Help me with what?" Keith snarled, his voice harsher than he'd meant it to be.

"With us." Shiro said softly. "If there even is an us after what you dealt with."

Keith pressed his hand into his forehead, closing his eyes. "Shiro…"

Shiro's heart sank. "Alright. No us. I'll leave you alone."

Shiro stood to leave and Keith flipped over on the bed and reached out, trying to grab Shiro's sleeve. He missed and tumbled out of the bed, landing in a painful heap on the floor.

Shiro was quick to run back over and help him back into bed. "You're more talented at falling than I ever thought." He spoke quietly, still heartbroken at the idea of not being together.

Keith grabbed hold of Shiro's sleeve as he pulled him up off the floor. "Shiro," he said. Shiro shook his head. "It's fine, Keith. I get it."

"No you don't," Keith said. "That's not what I meant."

"Then...what is it, Keith?" Shiro looked at him. "Please? You're hurt and not taking care of yourself and you flinch when I come near you. I want to help but...I'm not sure being here is helping you at all."

"I just... don't want you to be disappointed in me," Keith said.

"Disappointed? What?" Shiro moved back towards him. "I never have been. And you'd have to try impossibly hard to make me disappointed in you."

"You saw what happened in… here, I guess." He gestured at himself. "I… you must think I hate you… that I'm… afraid of you…"

"Well… you apparently think I hate you. And you did flinch when I tried to kiss you. But that's not disappointment, Keith."

"I didn't flinch because I'm afraid of you," he said. "I flinched because… for a moment I was scared it wasn't you…"

"Oh." Shiro slowly reached over to grab his hand. "It's me. I swear it's me. And I'd never hurt you like that."

Keith coughed. "I know that."

"I just… I'd like you to get better. We need to talk and if there is an us… we could… date."

Keith gave Shiro a weak smile. "Did you really just hesitate on the word 'date'? Shiro… we've slept together…"

Shiro blushed. "That's all I pretty much meant by date." He relaxed a little. "Next time we stock up for supplies we could try the dinner thing…"

Keith chuckled a little, wincing. "Okay, Shiro."

Shiro smiled, seeing him happy. "And please don't make Coran put a tube down your throat. Those hurt."

Keith's smile quickly turned back into a dark frown. "I'm not hungry," he said again.

"Can I ask why?" Shiro wasn't a fan of the mood swings. But he tried to support him.

"I don't have an appetite," Keith said. "I'm just… not hungry. Thinking about food makes me want to throw up…" Shiro could see that he was lying.

"Keith, as your friend it kills me that you're okay lying to me. As anything more than that, it kind of ticks me off." He didn't raise his voice or sound angry, but it was rather frustrating.

"I'm not lying to you, Shiro," Keith lied. He didn't know why, but he didn't want to eat anything. It was almost as if he wanted a tube forced down his throat. It certainly gave him an excuse to not talk to anyone.

"For someone that doesn't want me disappointed in them, you're trying really hard to disappoint me. _Do. Not. Lie._ " He headed for the door.

"I'm not lying!" Keith lied. He didn't bother trying to stop Shiro this time. _Let Coran come_ , he thought. _Shove a tube down my throat, I don't care._

Shiro left the room, heading for his own, but made a last minute turn to go sit in the Black lion for a while. He would fly off but… why did Keith feel the need to lie so obviously?

Keith rolled over to face the wall, glowering. He didn't know whether to be thrilled that he and Shiro might actually work out, or mad that Shiro saw through his lie so easily

Shiro sat in his lion and leaned against the controls, grateful his lion knew not to react to anything he was doing right now. He didn't want to go anywhere, just wanted some peace. He put the shield up and stayed quiet, trying to meditate and connect with the black lion more.

Keith didn't have to wait long before Coran returned. "Where's Shiro?" Coran asked. "Ran off," Keith mumbled. "Guess I pissed him off."

"Oh. Well, looks like you still haven't eaten. Why not Keith?"

"For a guy with big ears, you don't seem to hear that well," Keith snapped. "I'm. Not. Hungry."

"I can hear your stomach growling." He smiled.

"You're imagining it," Keith lied. "Just leave me alone, Coran. I don't want food goo right now."

"You have three hours to eat, Keith."

Keith, in his irritated resolve to be stubborn, threw the plate of food at the door just as it closed behind Coran.

About two and a half hours later Lance and Hunk came in to check on Keith.

"Eaten yet?" Lance asked.

Keith still mumbled that he wasn't hungry.

"Now!" Lance yelled. Hunk apologized while grabbing and holding Keith down while Lance started force feeding him.

Keith gritted his teeth against the onslaught of food, but Lance was relentless. "Open your mouth, Keith," he whined. Keith shook his head, grunting in dissent. "Ok then." Lance simply smiled and plugged Keith's nose, then slid a small tube between Keith's lips and squeezed food goo into his mouth.

Keith shook his head furiously as Lance forced food into his mouth. He refused to swallow. Lance could shove food into his mouth as long as he wanted, he couldn't force him to swallow it. But then once his mouth was full, Lance pressed his hand tight over Keith's mouth and nose, effectively blocking his air. Keith squirmed as he struggled to hold his breath. "Swallow or breathe," Lance said with a shrug.

Hunk looked slightly horrified about what was going on, but knew Keith had to eat so he kept holding him in place.

Keith fought against his friends as hard as he could but they were strong. He was starting to lose oxygen and his vision was fading around the edges. But he was stubborn, damn it, and he refused to swallow the food.

"Um, Lance? He's passing out…" Hunk looked at him. "Maybe um… we should…?"

"Nah, he'll swallow. He's not that stupid."

Keith fixed him with a half conscious glare. _Oh yeah?_ He thought. _I'll show you stupid._

Lance just held Keith's mouth closed. Surprised he was that dumb to let it go this far. Coran came in and yelled at them when Keith went limp.


	8. Prove it

When Keith came to there were more needles in him, he was tied down so he couldn't take them out, and a thin feeding tube went up through his nose and down to his stomach.

Pidge was in the room, instead of Lance. "Keith? Why are you acting like this?"

"Untie me," he managed to tell her.

She shook her head. "No way, Keith. You're trying to kill yourself and if I untie you you're going to rip out all of the things that are keeping you alive. I just, I don't understand… What happened between you and Shiro with training to make you like this? Did Shiro do something? Like in the dreams?"

Keith immediately shook his head. He didn't want the team to think Shiro actually treated him like that. "Shiro would never do anything like that to me, Pidge. If anyone else on this team could understand that as well as I do, it'd be you."

"I know Shiro wouldn't but… he got hurt a lot by the Galra so maybe. I don't know. But you just trying to die all the time seems so odd. What happened? Why are you trying to kill yourself? Do you hate us? Because it feels like you do. And Shiro's locked in the Black Lion and will barely eat, too. Why are you guys fighting?"

"I'm not trying to kill myself," Keith snarled, quite weakly. It was fairly pathetic. He jerked against the restraints holding him down.

"Okay, then why are are you and Shiro fighting? Do you hate him? Do you hate Voltron? Do you hate all of us?"

Keith sighed, trying not to wince in discomfort. Shiro was right, the feeding tube didn't feel very good. "I don't hate you guys. I don't hate Shiro. I…" He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He wouldn't cry. He would not cry. He would _not_ cry…

"You what, Keith? Why are you acting so strange? We want to help. Why are you upset? Why are you letting yourself get hurt so you can't heal? What's going on?"

Keith bit his lip, hard. If he told Pidge what was bothering him, he'd burst into tears, and he wasn't sure that was something he wanted to do in front of her. He took a deep breath, trying to control it. "I just…" his voice broke and he shut his mouth again, taking another deep breath.

"You what? Please tell me?"

"I don't hate you," he finally managed, his voice shaky.

"Well that's a relief." She let out a breath. Then went back to barraging him with questions. "Then did you hate Shiro? What happened during those three days that made you act like this?"

"I don't hate Shiro," Keith said, ignoring the rest of Pidge's questions.

"Then what happened during training? Why are you acting like this?"

"I screwed up, Pidge," Keith finally snapped, tears making his vision swim. "I…"

Pidge got a handkerchief and wiped the corners of his eyes. "You?"

"I'm so… disappointed in myself," he said, his voice very quickly going from super loud to super quiet. "I can't even trust myself to fall asleep because… what if I hurt Shiro more?"

"You're hurting him a lot by not taking care of yourself. The Black Lion won't let anyone inside. It's shielded up and Shiro is just sitting in there. He got on comms long enough to say he was sorry he hurt you, though. But… what happened to your head… It wasn't your fault. I know it's the Galra's fault. They did something to you. And you're just letting them win by keeping yourself weak."

Keith shook his head. "It'd be better if…" he stopped mid-thought. "The Galra didn't do anything to me. They didn't mess with my mind at all, Pidge."

"They hurt you. They hit you and electrocuted you. Electricity messes with your head. But even if they didn't mess with your head, you're letting them win acting like this. So stop it. Get stronger and go beat up the Galra. And help me get my dad and brother back. Because I can't stand having lost them and letting you and Shiro be miserable. I can't lose you guys too, so stop it!"

Keith flinched away from Pidge as she yelled at him and closed his eyes tight.

"Please stop hurting yourself, Keith! Shiro blames himself and you blame yourself and everyone is just so… fractured! I can't take it! So just… be strong! You're always strong, sometimes even more so than Shiro! But you're acting so content being weak and it's horrible. Get better! Fight the Galra! Be our friend and stop this stupid selfish self-destruction!" She teared up. "Please."

"You think I'm happy feeling this way?" Keith yelled suddenly. "You think I'm… content?! Not being able to walk, not having an appetite, not wanting to do anything but lay down and die? I don't _want_ this, Pidge."

"Then fight it!" She yelled back. "Don't just accept it! Don't wallow in it! If you really hate this, then fight it!"

"How?!" Keith snarled. "I tried! I tried to walk away from it, get up like it was nothing, but I couldn't. It didn't matter how many times I tried! I just... kept falling."

"Then ask for help! You don't like not having an appetite? Then eat something! You don't like not walking? Then let us hold you up! You don't have to pretend it didn't happen, but you don't have to deal with it on your own either!"

Keith laid his head back on the bed, closing his eyes. "It's not that simple, Pidge. I… I'm not good at asking for help. I'm not good at accepting help. And if I can't do it on my own… then what the hell does that make me?"

"Human." Pidge muttered. "It makes you human."

"Weak!" Keith growled. "It makes me weak. None of the rest of you are like this! When Lance got caught in an EXPLOSION, he walked away from it like it was nothing. When Shiro spent a year in captivity with the Galra, he walked away from it like it was nothing. I spent maybe three hours with them… and I can't do anything.

"Shiro didn't walk away with it. He lost his arm, he lost his friends. And he's not the Shiro I remember from before they left. Keith… just… let us help. If you don't do anything you'll stay weak. And if you hate being weak so much, fight to get better."

"I don't hate you, Pidge," Keith said. Pidge couldn't help but wonder why he kept saying that. "I don't hate you. I don't hate Shiro, I don't hate Lance or Hunk or Coran or Allura..."

"Then stop hating yourself, too." Pidge stood firm.

Keith shook his head, a tear escaping his eye and running down into his hair. "I can't."

"Then let us help. Because none of us hate you. And… if you don't hate us, then let us help."

"I already told you, I have to do this on my own," Keith said. "I'm the loner, remember?"

"The loner with friends. Loner's can have friends, too."

He cracked a tiny smile, but it didn't look too convincing what with his teary eyes and everything. "Loners can have friends," he echoed. "Just not... my type of loner..."

"You have friends. Too bad. You can't stop us from being your friends. Keith, come on. Stop being like this. I know it's a lot of fighting yourself but… I know you can do it. I believe in you."

"Fighting myself... I know how that feels. Like... I REALLY know how that feels," Keith said, his voice a low growl.

"I know. And you think really highly of Shiro's fighting. But you forgot one thing in your dream."

Keith didn't look at her. "I forgot to put a door in the room," he said in a pathetic attempt at a joke.

She smiled. "Well, yes. But you also forgot Shiro loves you."

"I didn't forget that," he said. "That was the whole premise for the dream. He… was mad because I didn't love him… he…" Keith winced, almost imperceptibly, as if the memory scared him.

"Instead of being mad, he's hurt. So…I guess you won your fight in your dream. You hurt him. You're still hurting him. And…maybe you should…not do that."

"I'm not trying to hurt him," Keith tried.

"Let him help you and um… I can tell you guys where go where people won't look." Pidge was pretty innocent, but she was smart. At this point, probably a little too smart.

"I have to do this myself, Pidge. You don't understand. I have to prove to myself that I'm not weak."

"Or you could prove to Shiro that you trust him enough to be weak in front of him."

"That's not the point!" Keith yelled, so suddenly that Pidge jumped. "He knows I'm weak, he saw what happened in my dream, what happened to me when I ran off right into the Galra's hands. He knows I'm not strong. But I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm not weak."

"By refusing to eat, and making yourself weaker. Keith, I'm sorry but that's just stupid."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Then stop being dumb. You're a loner, not an idiot."

"Yeah, that's Lance's job," Keith said. "I don't know, Pidge. I just… I hate myself… so much. I can't stand it."

She nodded. "Then...take steps to make it better. Wallowing isn't helping. So… try something different."

"Wallowing is working just fine for me, thank you very much," Keith said.

"But it's not working for me. And it's _really_ not working for Shiro."

Keith sighed and almost sort of deflated, like all of his stubborn, rebellious energy just drained out of him.

Pidge stretched. "What's two plus seven?"

"Nine," Keith mumbled, eyes closed.

"What is a tree?"

"A... plant?" Keith asked.

"Define swimming."

"Pointless and boring," Keith said. "Kind of like this conversation."

"Final quick answer question. What will help you feel better?"

"Dying."

"That wasn't the first thing that came to your mind."

"Was that what we were doing?" Keith asked. "The first thing that came to my mind was 'I don't know'."

"What is grass?" Pidge started again.

"Green," Keith said.

"What is your favorite color?"

"Red."

"Least favorite school subject?"

"History."

"What do you really need right now?"

"To be let go," Keith answered.

"Okay… but what will you do if I let you go?"

"Just keep wallowing, I guess," Keith said, though he didn't believe it. And Pidge could see in his eyes.

"Keith, you're a really bad liar," she said. "I'll let you go in you're honest with me and won't hurt anyone including yourself."

"I'm not trying to hurt anyone," Keith grumbled.

"But are you going to?"

"I can't control that, Pidge," Keith argued

"Then...I can't let you go." She frowned. "Sorry."

Keith didn't respond. He just stared at the ceiling.

"But um… I'll go get Shiro." She smiled a little. "He's better at people than I am. I'm just good with computers." She hurried out of the room.

About half an hour later Shiro stood at the door. His meditation hadn't helped him relax much and he looked tired. "Pidge said I should come see you."

"Great," Keith mumbled, drowsy. There wasn't much for him to do but doze when he was tied down on a bed. "You can see how pathetic I look."

"Actually I think you've got more color to you. You're getting stronger. The restraints aren't going to hold you forever." He went over and sat near him. "I know you, you'll break out of them in no time."

Keith pulled up on his arms as hard as he could, but the restraints held tight. "Look at that," he said dejectedly. "Nothing."

"Well, you're still healing. Stuff like that takes time. But you're strong. It'll happen."

Keith shook his head, refusing to look at Shiro. "If you're pissed at me, I'd rather you act pissed than fake nice."

"I'm mad that you're so comfortable lying to me. But it doesn't mean I can't be nice to you."

"Lying to you?" Keith asked.

"That you aren't hungry. That you're fine." He sighed.

"I wasn't hungry," Keith said. "And I never said anything about being fine."

"Keith… when was the last time you told me the truth?"

"When I told you I'd rather you be pissed than fake nice," Keith said.

He nodded. "And why do you want me pissed?"

"Because pissed would be more honest than fake nice."

"I'm not being fake. I'm checking on you to see how you feel."

"Shiro, I am really not in the mood to be lied to right now."

"I'm never in the mood to be lied to." He watched him. "Is there anything you want from me?"

"Be mad at me," Keith said. "Yell at me, do something."

"So long as you stop lying, I won't be mad. As for doing something, get better first."

"I'm not lying."

"Keith, I'm mad you lied, but I'm hurt more than anything. I know you hate even the appearance of being weak, but I know you're strong. And I know you'll get stronger. I'm not going to yell at you."

"What did I lie about, Shiro?" Keith snapped.

"Really? So you're just going to ignore it and pretend you don't suck at lying?"

"No, I'm serious, Shiro. What did I lie about? What do you think I'm being dishonest about?" Keith yanked on the restraints again, but he wasn't going anywhere. He groaned in frustration.

"'Not hungry,' 'thinking about food makes me want to throw up,' 'I'm not lying to you,'" Shiro went over to him. "All lies. All of them. And you know it."

Keith avoided Shiro's gaze. "Thinking about food does make me want to throw up," he said. "But so does everything else… I didn't lie about not having an appetite."

"And why do you want me to be mad at you when you can't stand the idea of me being disappointed in you?"

"Because no one else has any qualms about yelling at me or forcing food down my throat. No one else is refusing to accept that I'm an idiot and that this is my fault." If he could gesture to himself, he would.

"Keith, you have a temper, you're wild and unpredictable. What happened when we were alone, with you walking off twice, then flying off… it doesn't make sense. I don't get it at all. But I love that you're wild and unpredictable. I love you. I'd much, much rather you talk to me instead of running away, but I'm not going to yell or force feed you. I'm… sad that everyone else has to do that in hopes that they will help."

"I can't explain it, Shiro. But I feel like if you yell at me... if you're furious with me... I'll have more reason to fight. But you just being… this… it isn't motivating me at all."

"Fight what, Keith? What are you trying to fight?"

"Myself," Keith growled. "That… thing in my mind. The desire to run away from everything."

"Why would be yelling at you keep you from running away? I don't understand."

"It would give me more motivation to try harder, I guess. To know that running off is hurting, rather than helping. But since you're not yelling at me, it doesn't feel like I've done anything wrong. Whereas when Pidge was yelling at me, it was pretty clear I did something stupid as shit!"

"You did do something stupid as shit. Three times." Shiro shrugged. "And you're ruining anything and everything we have potential for by acting this way. But I'm not going to yell at you for it." He looked at him, keeping silent for a moment. "You want to be stupid and run off again? Fine. But you do that, and we're over. And so is Voltron."

Keith stared at him. "Shiro… I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to disappear the first time. And with the Galra… yeah, that was stupid. And I deserved what I got. But what was the third thing?"

"You didn't mean to the first time. But then walked off again. Red had to follow you. Keith, we slept together and then you left me three times. I forgave the first one. The other two hurt more than I can ever explain."

"Then yell at me for it," Keith said, his voice quiet. "The second time I… needed air. I wasn't going to go far. And the third time… I don't know, Shiro. I wasn't thinking."

"Why do I have to yell, Keith? Why can't we just talk? Why do you always run away or shut down when all I want to do is talk?"

"Come on, Shiro. You know me. Is this really a surprise?"

"Keith. I didn't think you'd kiss me back. So I ran. I fail to see why I need to yell at you for doing the same. I just… didn't expect you to keep doing it."

"Sorry I keep getting dragged back before I'm ready."

"If you're not ready to talk to me, then I'll leave. But I'm not going to yell. I'm tired of all the fighting."

"Believe me, Shiro. I'm tired of it too. But guess what. I'm not done."

"Okay, really? You really want to fight?" Shiro stood up. "Then fight me."

Keith eyed Shiro for a moment, then looked down. "I can't very well do that," he said. "I'm tied down. Unfair advantage on your part."

"I'll let you throw the first punch. Break out and fight me."

Keith laughed mirthlessly. "Go ahead and tease me all you want, Shiro. I've been trying to break out since I woke up. I CANT."

"Then I guess you're weaker than I thought." Shiro stood over him. "If you're not done fighting, then fight me."

Keith chuckled. "Weaker than you thought," he echoed. " _Surprise_. I'm not some freaking super human like you, Shiro. Not all of us can break out of anything we want just because we want to. If I could do that, you wouldn't have needed to put yourself in danger to save me from the Galra."

"Actually, if you hadn't run off, I wouldn't have had to put myself in danger to save you from the Galra." Shiro egged him on. He wouldn't yell, but he could be pretty aggravating.

"If I hadn't run off I wouldn't have realized how weak I really am. Do you know how long it took the Galra to get me out of red? To get past me asking Red to stay locked down?"

"15 seconds." He shrugged. "It wouldn't have been up to you. It was up to Red. And since you haven't properly bonded with him, he let you get taken."

"I'm weak, Shiro. I can't control my lion, even after all this time flying together, Red doesn't trust me. He didn't care what I told him, he opened right up and let the Galra in."

"Well, did you ask him not to? Do you ever talk to your lion? Or do you treat him like you treat me?"

"What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?"

"Do you use him and then run off?"

Shiro's statement hit Keith sharper than a slap across the face. He tensed his arms in an attempt to sit up. The restraints held firm, despite the fact that Keith was using all of the strength he had. "I did _not_ use you!" Keith asserted.

"Huh, right." He didn't like pissing him off very much. But Keith wanted to fight him, so Shiro was trying to help him get there. "We slept with each other. You ran. I tried to talk. You ran. You get captured, I have to rescue you. You get hurt, I try to help and you push me away. You've done nothing but push me away since I came to you. That's using someone, Keith."

"No. It's not." Keith's arms were shaking and he collapsed back into the bed, tears in his eyes again.

"That what was it, Keith?"

"I needed to figure things out," Keith said. "On my own." He took a deep breath. "I didn't want to hurt you, Shiro."

"You haven't figured them out yet, have you?"

"I haven't had time," Keith said.

"Should I leave you alone until then?"

"I wish you would all leave me alone," Keith snapped. "I wish everyone would stop chasing after me, talking at me and trying to force me to do things."

"Okay." Shiro got up, starting to undo his bonds, then helping him get the IVs off him, as well as carefully starting to work on the feeding tube. "I'll tell everyone to leave you alone."

As soon as he was free, Keith swung out at Shiro as hard as he could. But Shiro was faster than him and caught his fist before it connected.

Shiro shoved him back onto the bed. "Really? That was a ploy to fight?" He was actually kind of impressed.

"You told me to fight you," Keith growled. He swung out at Shiro again, but Shiro caught him and pulled him out of bed, sending him to the floor.

"So you'd stop fighting everyone else." Shiro looked over him. "So… the question is, do I fight you, or would you rather I leave you alone?"

Keith struggled to pull himself up, leaning heavily on the bed. Still, there was a stubborn determination in his eyes. He lunged for Shiro again, hitting him across the face. But he was weak, and the hit was gentle.

Shiro grabbed his arm and twisted it around Keith's back. But he was also being gentle. He'd fight, but he wasn't going to make Keith take longer to heal if he could help it. "I guess that answers my question."

Keith squirmed away from Shiro, twisting and kicking him in the chest. But Keith was still off balance and the kick made it worse. Shiro hit him once across the face, probably harder than he'd meant to.

Shiro moved over to pin him to the floor when Keith went down. He paused, getting a little turned on by the fighting. Which felt a little weird and kind of wrong.

Keith struggled underneath him before kicking Shiro right in the tenderest spot he could reach. But he was having a hard time catching his breath.

Shiro winced, letting go and dropping on top of him for a second. "Okay, Keith… we should stop."

"I'm not finished yet," Keith snarled. He twisted on the floor, struggling out from under Shiro and kicked him in the head.

Shiro got the air knocked out of him and twisted to punch him in the gut and freeze him for a second, so he could try and pin him down again.

Keith took the hit hard, falling back into his back, hair falling in his eyes, but he was up again before Shiro had a chance to get on top of him again.

Shiro backed up and got back into a fighting stance. "What next?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Keith snarled. Unlike Shiro, there was no lightheartedness in his fighting. Only his lack of strength kept him from going as hard as he was capable of, given normal circumstances.

Shiro mostly held back so he didn't actually hurt him, but he did go all out in defending himself. "Well, you can try."

Keith attacked him ferociously, all things considered. It didn't matter how many times Shiro knocked him back, he went at him again. He hit Shiro with a particularly well placed blow and Shiro, mostly out of instinct, hit him hard enough to send him crashing into the wall before collapsing in an unmoving heap on the floor.

Shiro paused, horrified by what he'd done. "Keith?" He dropped to the floor. "Keith are you okay?"

Keith offered no response. He didn't even move.

"Keith…" Shiro rolled him over, laying him out on the floor. "I'm so sorry…"

Keith was not as dazed as he'd seemed and took advantage of Shiro's closeness and overall lack of guard, kicking up as hard as he could.

He winced and dropped to the floor. "Alright. Alright you win."

Keith collapsed back onto the floor, gasping for air. He shook his head and said in a raspy voice, "It doesn't count if you let me."

"It doesn't count when you're not at full strength either."

Keith pulled himself off the floor and stood shakily on his feet. "Fight me with everything you've got, Shiro."

Shiro stayed on the floor. "No."

"Damn it, Shiro, I'm not asking. Fight me with everything you've got. It's the only way I'll know for sure."

"Know what?" He still didn't move.

"If I'm strong or not," Keith growled. "Get up. Fight me. Hit me with all your strength. Stop going easy on me."

"You've knocked me down twice at thirty five percent strength, Keith." He sat up. "Beating me isn't a sign of strength. You'd win every time."

"No, _you don't know that!_ " Keith yelled. "You're going easy on me, Shiro. You're not even trying. So stand up and fight me. Stop going easy on me."

"No." He stayed still. "We've fought enough. But if you're not done then beat me up."

Keith staggered a little, but he stayed on his feet. "Shiro, please," he begged.

"You can hit, kick, and even cut and stab me. I'm done attacking."

"You never even tried," Keith said. "You know I can't win and so you refuse to even give me the chance. But you're not fooling me, Shiro. If anything you're proving to me that you don't believe I'm capable. And if that's the case, why keep me around. Wouldn't Voltron be better off without someone who can't even fight his own battles when he needs to?"

"Only you think you need to win right now." He sat up, then lurched forward and grabbed Keith's ankle pulling him to the ground and getting on top of him. He didn't hold back at all. "Keith, it's okay to lose."

"Then hit me with everything you've got, so I can lose properly."

"Pinned into submission is losing." He stayed on top of him, glad he was bigger than Keith so he could hold him by weight.

"No, it's not. It's giving up."

"I disagree."

Keith squirmed and struggled underneath Shiro, but the older man was heavier than him and Keith was still winded. But he didn't give up.

Shiro pushed him harder into the floor. "Why do you feel the need to lose to me?"

"Why do you feel the need to ask so many damn questions?" Keith spat back, wincing as pain shot through his arms. Shiro was gripping him really tight.

"Because it pisses you off." He held him down.

Keith was pushing his feet against the floor, trying to find some traction so he could get out from under Shiro. Finally, his foot stuck and he pushed hard, pushing both himself and Shiro toward the wall. Shiro's head struck the wall and his grip on Keith loosened.

"Ugh." He grabbed for him again and went to pin him down again, while trying to move away from the wall.

Keith was too fast for Shiro this time and slid out from underneath him, pulling himself to his feet again.

Shiro was slower to get back up. "Keith, you're strong. I get it."

"Then prove to me that you think that," Keith said. "Hit me with everything. Don't hold back."

"I already said no. I can be stubborn too."

"Then I'm leaving. Voltron doesn't deserve someone who can't be trusted to win a fight."

Shiro stopped. The stress of always having to win… was huge. And apparently Keith was already feeling it. "I… see…" He took a breath and swung at him, full force.

Keith was taken completely by surprise and wasn't able to move in time to fully dodge Shiro's hit. Instead, he braced himself and staggered backward, trying not to show how much it hurt.

Shiro only threw the punch once. "Feel better now?"

"No," Keith growled.

"Well, the next punch you throw should be full force as well."

"You don't need to tell me that," Keith said. "I know." He stepped forward and lifted his foot off the ground, turning and swinging it at Shiro with as much force as he could muster.

Shiro grabbed his arm and twisted him around. "Not fast enough."

Keith shoved backward against Shiro, but Shiro just slammed him against the wall. "Ready to stop yet?" He was regretting telling Keith to fight him.

Keith struggled away from him and wiped his face, where blood was dripping from his nose. "No," he said again. He started toward Shiro, feinted left and then went right, hitting Shiro across the jaw with his elbow.

Shiro staggered back. Then swung at him.

his time, Keith was ready for him. He ducked under Shiro's arm, just like he'd done in his dream, and hit him again.

Shiro went down, but spun on the floor to try and hit him again.

Keith wasn't expecting that and took the full force of Shiro's hit. He hit the floor hard with a yelp and a gasp as pain ripped the air from his lungs.

Shiro grabbed him and held him down again. "Done?"

"I don't belong here," Keith muttered as he gasped for air.

"Yes you do," Shiro held him in place. "You'll win, eventually." He leaned over and kissed Keith. "I know you will."

Keith kissed him back, even though his nose was gushing blood and said blood was dripping into his mouth. And he still wasn't done. He would fight until he passed out. He struggled underneath Shiro.

Shiro kept him on the floor, leaning against him and kissing him again. "I love you."

"No you don't," Keith said, turning his head away.

"Don't decide my feelings," Shiro leaned against him.

"Don't lie to me," Keith grumbled, wincing. Shiro was crushing him.

"I haven't lied yet." He kissed his cheek. "I love you, and now it's time to sleep." He got off him and picked him up, taking him back to the bed.

Keith tried to get out of his arms. "I'm not finished," he tried.

"Rest, get stronger, then try again."

"No," Keith argued. He rolled out of Shiro's arms with the full intention of catching himself on the floor.

Shiro dropped him, then stood. "Keith."

"I can't give up," Keith said, staggering to his feet. "Everything you've got. Come on, Shiro."

"Keith, you are everything I've got."

"That's not… what I meant…" Keith charged at Shiro again, swinging out to hit him.

Shiro let Keith hit him. "You'll win every time. Even if you lose."

"That's bullshit, Takashi. Hit me back!" Keith snarled and hit him again.

Shiro let Keith attack him. "No, you're not hitting with full strength, so I won't."

Keith gritted his teeth. "Fine. I'll hit you as hard as I can. But you have to hit me back!" And Keith swung forward, putting all of his strength and fury and stress and confusion into it.

Shiro wasn't expecting as strong a hit as Keith delivered. And he'd have hit him back, but Keith surprised him enough that he stumbled backward and dropped to the floor.

Keith staggered and braced himself on the wall. "Come on, Shiro! Stand up and hit me!"

Shiro didn't move. Or say anything. Keith really had gotten in a good hit.

Keith waited. He knew Shiro would get up.

"Why are you waiting, Keith?" Shiro spoke quietly. "I was in a position where you could have won. Why did you hesitate?"

Keith hesitated in his answer. "I want you to hit me. With everything," he said.

"…You're letting me win…"

"Get up, Shiro. I know you can." Keith leaned heavily on the wall as his vision swam a little before him.

"Not if you're letting me win."

"I'm not letting you win," Keith snarled. "Get up!"

Shiro slowly got up, getting himself back into a fighting stance. "Keith…"

"Just do this for me!" Keith yelled. He ran at Shiro again, swinging with his left fist.

Shiro slapped it away. "I'm trying to, Keith. I just…"

Keith collapsed against the wall, bracing himself with shaking arms. Tears were pouring down his face.

Shiro grabbed him, holding Keith against his chest and wiping away his tears. "You're an amazing leader, Keith. But it's time to stop."

"It's not enough," Keith sobbed.

"It is." Shiro held him.

Keith offered no answer, but struggled to get away from Shiro. "I want you to hit me," he said.

"I already have. Multiple times. In your dreams and in reality."

Keith hit Shiro again, but he was weak and his punch was more like a gentle slap.

Shiro let him go. "I'm so impressed by how strong you are, but it's time to rest."

"You aren't listening to me," Keith yelled, his eyes strangely bright. "I want you to kill me, Shiro."


	9. Pidgeonholed

Shiro paused, then backing up. "Never." His face darkened. "And I… I'm furious you'd ask me to do that." He turned and headed out of the room, moving away from the door and sliding down the wall to cry.

"Shiro!" Keith staggered after him. "Please!"

Shiro couldn't look at him. He just rested his head on his knees.

"If you won't do it, I will!"

Shiro looked up at him, glaring. "No, you won't!" He lunged at him, slamming his fist into the side of his head, effectively knocking him out. Then dragged him back into the hospital and tied him back to the bed. He got up, holding back the tears as much as he could, heading towards the control room of the castle. "Allura...I need a favor."

"What is It Shiro?"

"You need to find new paladins. At minimum for the black lion. Probably for the red lion as well. I'm leaving and I don't think Keith will be here for long." He turned and walked out of the room. He retreated to his room and packed his things. But when he went to leave, he found the door locked. He called on comms. "Allura, why is my door locked?"

Pidge replied. "Because you're acting hastily."

"Tell that to Keith, Pidge." He slammed his fist on the door. "Now let me out."

"That's just It, Shiro. I ran some analyses on a blood sample from Keith. And I was right."

"Right about what?"

"The Galra _did_ mess with his head. There's poison in his system. Very obviously Galra."

"Sweet. Then I just beat up a poisoned member of Voltron. Fix him. I'm not competent enough to be a leader if I can't recognize that."

He could almost hear Pidge shaking her head. "It wouldn't make sense for him to have poison in his system," she said. "The healing pods are supposed to take care of that, right? So why would it have occurred to you that that was what's going on?"

"Because it should have. I know the Galra, Pidge. Just… fix him. He can lead Voltron when he's better."

"The healing pod activated the poison, Shiro. I'm sure of it. That's unexpected Galra tech. Even you wouldn't have seen it coming. Slow acting, makes him act recklessly until bit by bit he ends up hurting himself. But if you leave… that's exactly what the Galra want you to do."

"Just… fix Keith. I… didn't. I couldn't, and I can't."

"We're working on it. Sit tight."

"Could you unlock the door? I'll… stay in the room but I'm not good with being locked up."

"Sorry Shiro. No can do."

"Pidge, I'm serious. Please unlock the door. I've never broken a promise to you. I need the door unlocked."

"I can't do that. I really am sorry. But until we figure out how to help Keith, we can't risk you running away. No matter how much I trust you."

"Pidge!" He slammed against the door, fighting back panic. "Pidge, don't lock me in here! I'm begging you! Please!" Then he heard the telltale click that Pidge had shut off her comms.

Shiro hit the door again, then again and again and again. It had to be open. Shiro couldn't stand being locked up.

Meanwhile, Keith woke up. He felt restraints around his body again and immediately started struggling. Pidge was sitting next to him, typing away on her computer. "Let me go, Pidge," Keith snarled, wild eyed.

She shook her head. "Nope. Just gotta work on the poison."

"Poison?" Keith relaxed. "Good. Maybe it'll kill me. Just leave it."

"It won't. It'll keep you feeling like this. Forever. But we'll fix you up. And then you can apologize to Shiro."

" _Me_ apologize to _him_?" Keith growled. "He's the one who refused to help me!"

She shrugged. "Murder isn't much help." She went back to working. It was easy to handle Keith knowing he wasn't himself.

He groaned. "Screw you, Pidge. You don't understand."

"I understand the numbers." She kept working. It was kind of fun to piss him off, in an 'I'm helping' kind of way.

"Let me go!" Keith yelled again. "You're not helping! Let me go!" His constant screaming was making it difficult for Pidge to concentrate.

"I'm working." She looked up at him. "Do you want me to leave you alone? Because I can work outside? I just thought you'd enjoy the company."

"I want you to let me go!"

"No." She shrugged, then started packing up her stuff to work outside so he'd stop distracting her. "I'll be back, you'll feel better later."

"Pidge!" His voice followed her out the door. "Let me go!"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that today, I'd have a sold five dollars."

She then made her way to the front of the ship to work on finding a cure for Keith's poison.

Meanwhile, Keith rested his head back on the bed. He didn't want to be here anymore. He pulled on the restraints, which Shiro had tied extra tight.

Pidge worked with Allura and Coran to develop something to help Keith. It took quite a while, but was worth it, since Shiro was freaking out and Keith was getting worse.

Speaking of Shiro… Pidge turned on her comms. "How are you holding up, Shiro?"

He didn't answer. He'd gone full on panic from being locked up.

Pidge groaned. The entire team was falling apart. "Shiro, answer me."

"Please unlock the door." His voice was hoarse and quiet.

"We're working on it. Just hang in there."

"Unlock the door Pidge. I won't leave. I swear."

"I know, Shiro, you told me already. But I can't do that. Not yet."

"Pidge… Please."

"I'm sorry, Shiro."

Shiro turned off his comms and curled up into a ball.

Pidge heard him turn his comms off and sighed. "That's probably not a good sign." But just then, Coran popped up.

"Here's the chemical you asked for! Though, I'm not sure. I think this stuff is-"

Pidge jumped and grabbed the bottle from Coran. "Sweet! Let's get it ready for Keith and try and fix everyone!"

Roughly an hour later, Pidge entered Keith's room with the (hopefully) working antidote. "Alright Keith. I've got help for you."

Keith looked away from her. "Unless it'll kill me I don't want it."

"Don't worry, Keith. This will definitely kill you," she said.

"Good." He laid back and waited for her to inject the medicine.

She did so, and Keith's face almost immediately lost all of its color. He's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed into the sheets, limp. "Oh crap… Coran, Allura! Help!" She started working.

Allura and Coran were at her side in a matter of minutes. "What is going on?" Allura asked.

"He um...did I just kill him?"

"No," Coran said, pressing gentle fingers to Keith's neck. "He's got a pulse and he's breathing... strange." Allura hooked up some oxygen to help him breath.

Pidge nodded. "But then what…?"

"I think we should give the antidote some time to work. We'll check on him in a few hours," Coran said, ushering everyone out of the room.

Pidge nodded. "I'm going to check on Shiro."

Allura nodded. "Good luck Pidge."

Pidge nodded in return and started toward Shiro's room.

Shiro was still sitting in the dark, his eyes closed as he tried to meditate.

Pidge knocked on the door. "Shiro?" He didn't respond, focusing on trying to calm down. He hated panic attacks.

She pounded on the door a little harder. "Shiro!" He refused to answer. She could get in all she wanted.

Pidge knew what he was doing but she had an idea. She bit her lip. It was kinda mean... "I think I killed Keith," she said, her voice quiet. She didn't lie to Shiro often, so she knew he wouldn't catch it.

Shiro jumped up and slammed against the door. "Let me out!"

"For the last time, Shiro. No."

"Pidge I need to see him! Let me out! How could you do that to me?! How could you kill him!?"

"Relax, Shiro, I didn't kill him. I just needed to make sure you were okay."

He punched the door again. "I'm not okay, Pidge! You've locked me up! Just like the Galra locked up your family!"

Pidge flushed. "Don't go throwing Matt and my father in my face, Shiro," she snarled. "You have no right."

"You have no right to treat me like a prisoner when I wasn't going to leave! This is the worst thing you've ever done, Katie."

"Shiro, you know better than anyone that my sense of guilt is not very acute. You can't guilt me into letting you go. As far as I'm concerned, if I let you go, you might do something you'll regret. Or something to hurt this team more. And since this team is all I have left, I'm not going to let you do that. So yeah." She glowered at the door. "I guess you're a prisoner."

"Pidge, I...there's no trust. Voltron won't form without trust. You're ruining everything."

"Think what you want, Shiro. But I'm doing what's best for our family." She started to walk away but then stopped. "And I'm NOT talking about Matt."

Shiro slid down against the door. "Pidge I don't want to form Voltron with someone so happy to lock up their leader."

Pidge laughed. "I'm not happy about it. Not by a long shot. But… I'm worried that you might hurt yourself. And I care too much about you to let that happen."

"Pidge, I already have. My hand is broken from hitting the door. And I've nearly dislocated my shoulder. And I can still hurt myself with my Galra arm."

Pidge froze in her tracks and turned. "Don't you dare," she snarled.

"Unlock the door, Pidge."

"No way in hell," Pidge snapped. "I can't believe you, Shiro. You're just as bad as Keith. Difference is there's nothing wrong with you."

"You have no trust in me. You're treating me like Keith when there is nothing wrong. But you're making something wrong with me. You're…" He winced. "You're treating me like a Galra captive. And I can't... I can't mentally handle that… "

"I'm not, and you know it." Pidge turned on her heel and stormed away. "To hell with you, Shiro!"

Shiro hit the door again, then jumped on comms. "Allura, Coran, Lance, Hunk… please, just unlock the door. I need someone to trust me. Anyone to trust me. If no one unlocks the door, I… I won't be able to lead Voltron anymore. Not that we'll ever form it again. There's no trust, no bond between any of us. But… I can't even try to help if the door is locked."

Hunk jumped, running over to the hospital where Allura was. "Who locked up Shiro?"

It didn't even take Pidge a second to answer. "Hunk. You unlock that door and I'll lock you out of the kitchen for a week."

"Pidge… don't you trust Shiro? He's our leader…"

"Not when he's threatening to hurt himself, he's not. Do _not_ let him out or I will rain tech fire upon you."

Hunk winced. "Pidge… um… was he threatening to hurt himself before or after you locked him… up…?"

"Both," she snapped. I mean it, Hunk."

"Sorry, Shiro," Hunk said over comms. "Pidge is scarier than you."

Allura moved over and grabbed Pidge's arm. "Come with me." Pidge stumbled along after her, wincing at the Princess's strong grip.

Allura pushed Pidge into an empty room that had no electronics. She shut and locked the door. "Never disobey your leader," she snapped. Then she made her way over to Shiro's room and unlocked the door. Shiro turned on his comm again and whispered, "Thank you, Pidge…"

He didn't think anyone else would unlock the door.


	10. I Quit

Pidge curled up in the corner of her room, shutting her comms off as soon as she heard Shiro's voice. She was sobbing. He turned his comms off to everyone but Pidge, but didn't speak. He just hoped she'd turn hers on after a while.

She said nothing. Shiro laid back on his bed, humming a song Pidge's dad had told him about. Pidge could hear him humming, but it only made her feel worse.

"Pidge? Can you talk? Can I leave my room and come see you?"

Silence was his answer

"Okay. I'm... I'm here if you want to talk. I won't leave until you come back."

Pidge turned on her comms, long enough to say, "Just stop."

"I know you were trying to help. Thank you for doing that. You're wonderful."

"Don't lie to me," she snapped, her voice rough.

"…Pidge? Did you catch what Keith has?"

"No. But I think you did." And she turned her comms off once again.

Shiro sighed and closed his eyes. "Sorry Pidge."

Keith opened his eyes, everything around him a little fuzzy.

Coran moved over to him. "Keith?"

The red paladin looked around, trying hard to focus. "What happened?" he asked.

"Well, you begged Shiro to kill you."

"Which he didn't do," Keith noted. "That's good."

A few minutes later Allura unlocked and opened the door to the room she'd put Pidge in. "I'm sorry, Pidge. You're free to go." She watched her for a moment, "Thank you for your help with Keith."

Pidge did not move.

Allura watched her for a moment, then made her way to Shiro's room and knocked on the door.

Shiro got up and opened the door. "… Princess. I… I need to keep my promise to Pidge."

"Keith is awake," Allura said. "As for Pidge…" She twisted her hair between her fingers.

Shiro moved to his comms. "Pidge… Pidge, Keith is awake. Can I see him?"

Still, Pidge didn't answer.

Shiro hesitated. "I… I'm going to see Keith. Then I'll head back to my room."

"Do what you want, Shiro," Pidge's voice reached him, sharp and unforgiving. "I don't care anymore."

Shiro turned. "Allura, we need to see if what Keith had was something that can spread. Because… my head isn't right. And neither is Pidge's."

Allura nodded. "For now… he's been asking for you."

He nodded. "I need to wrap my hand anyway." He started for the hospital wing.

On his way there, he passed Pidge, who shoved past him without even a glance, and continued down the hall.

Shiro winced. Okay… whatever was wrong with Keith… he hoped Pidge had it. Because he felt awful fighting with her.

Pidge made her way to her lion's hangar and sat inside at the controls. She asked the lion to put the shield up, then curled up on the floor. It was her turn to hide from everyone inside her lion.

Shiro stepped into the infirmary. "Keith?"

Allura moved over to Shiro and took a quick blood sample to run and test him. He flinched, but didn't attack her.

Keith was sitting up in bed, the restraints gone. He held a water bottle in his hands, which were bandaged, though Shiro could see drying blood on his nails. He was patiently letting Coran wipe blood off of his face, revealing dark purple bruises.

Shiro flinched. "Ok… so… that was my fault. How are you feeling?"

Keith looked at him, and Shiro was relieved to see that the wild look had disappeared from his eyes. He looked, to put it simply, like Keith. He took a moment to answer, looking as though he were rolling the words around in his mouth. "I, uh… I'm fine." And he looked down at his hands

"That's… good. You're… looking a lot better." He stayed away from him. "Nice to see you not tied up…"

Keith could see that Shiro felt uncomfortable. And the feeling was one hundred percent mutual. "Shiro… I uh… don't really remember exactly what happened," he started. "But apparently I did some pretty horrible things…"

"Yeah… well, you begged me to kill you."

Keith flinched. "Yeah, thanks, I got that. Coran told me. I don't remember much after the second time you knocked me down…"

"Neither do I." He smiled. "You're a good fighter." He smiled.

Keith shook his head, the tiniest of smiles playing along his split lips. "I'm sorry," he said.

Shiro started to care for his hand. "We… I'm worried what you had is spreading. I think Pidge and I might… be infected. But, I'm really happy you're doing better."

Keith looked alarmed. "Spreading? But Coran told me it was poison. Is Pidge okay? Are you okay? What happened to your hand?"

"I broke it after Pidge locked me in my room." He sighed. "So we're just going to see if there's something in my blood, and if there is we'll check Pidge."

"What about Pidge? What makes you think there's something wrong with her?"

"She locked me in a room, Keith. And now she won't talk to me."

"Where is she now?" he asked.

"Her lion, I think."

"You should go talk to her."

"I will." Shiro took Keith's hand. "Can we talk...when you get better?"

Keith nodded. "We can talk any time… now that my head's on straight."

Shiro nodded. "When Pidge and I patch things up… let's… do stuff." he got up and headed out. He made his way to the green lion hangar and found that the lion had shields up.

"Pidge? Hey… can we please talk?"

There was no response from the green lion or it's pilot.

Shiro frowned. "Please. I'm sorry I said the things I did. I know you were just trying to help."

Pidge was curled up in the corner of the cockpit in the green lion, tears still dripping down her face.

"Pidge, you know siblings fight. They make mistakes. I made a huge mistake with you. And you're like my sister. I… I'm really sorry."

Against Pidge's wishes, the green lion's particle barrier faltered. She didn't even notice.

Shiro hurried through and into the lion. He bit his lip when he saw Pidge and moved over to her, laying next to her. "I'm… Matt and I are your brothers. And I'll protect you as best I can without him. And do what I can to help you find him, too." She didn't say anything, and curled in on herself even tighter, trying to block out his voice.

He went quiet, but put his hand on her back, trying to comfort her.

She pulled away from his hand, sobbing. "You have no idea," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Pidge...I know it's hard. Indescribably so. And I'm here, to help as I can."

"Don't you have to go take care of Keith?" she spat, as if 'Keith' was the worst insult she could ever say.

"He's doing much better, thanks to you." He stayed next to her. "The green lion… it's peaceful in here. I… you're a great paladin for it."

Pidge took a deep breath, but she didn't move. "I come in here more often than you guys know."

"I'm sure of it. It's comforting. Why… don't you come to me or the other's though?"

"Why would I?" Pidge asked. "You have nothing to offer me."

"Ooo…kay…" he really hoped they were infected with something after that line.

"You can go on and on about how my father is the greatest man you ever knew," Pidge snarled. "But that's not going to bring him back.

"Katie, we're going to find him. We're going to get your family back." He sat up and watched her. "But let's… let's make sure we're both ok first."

"I'm fine," she snapped, but her voice cracked on the word and she sobbed again.

Shiro pulled her into a tight hug. "Please don't cry alone anymore."

Pidge let him hold her as she fell apart again. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"Shh, let it out. You're not alone anymore."

Just then, Shiro heard Allura's voice in his ears. "Shiro, where are you?"

"We're in the green lion Allura. What is it?" He held Pidge close, gently rubbing her back.

"Blood test results came back... They're completely clean..."

Shiro nodded. "I had a bad spell with my PTSD. And I was mistreating Katie. We'll be ok, with some work."

"Don't be so sure," Allura said. "I think it would be in our best interest to check Pidge."

"In a moment, Allura." Shiro wanted Pidge to feel at least a little better first.

"Better go," Pidge said. "Keith needs you." Shiro could hear thinly veiled sadness and malice in her voice

"Will you come with me? You worked so hard to save him. He should thank you…"

Pidge gestured at the console, where a small vial sat, full of dark red liquid. "Pidge…" Shiro began.

"Just give that to Allura. She can test it."

"Pidge please come with me."

"Take the damn blood and leave me alone," Pidge growled. She shoved Shiro away and for the first time he noticed the blood that coated her hand.

"Alright, but one second…" He closed his eyes and connected with the black lion, who roared from his hangar and left the ship, flying around the castle and blocking the exit of the ship so Pidge couldn't fly off in her lion. He grabbed the vial and ruffled her hair, heading back to the hospital for testing.

Shiro entered and handed the vial to Allura, who eyed it suspiciously. "What is this?"

"Pidge cut herself. She's not doing well."

Allura looked sad and surprised and a little mad. "And you left her alone like that?"

"The Black Lion is watching her. And she… basically kicked me out of the green lion.

Allura still looked mad. "There's a lot of blood in here," she noted.

"Which is why you should be testing it instead of lecturing me, Princess." He folded his arms, then glanced at Keith, who shrugged, his eyes flicking between Shiro and Allura.

Shiro relaxed, seeing him doing so much better. "I'll go watch Pidge while you test that."

When Shiro returned to the hangar, he was horrified to find it empty.

"Shit." He jumped into his lion and yelled at him. "You were supposed to stop this from happening!" He started tracking the green lion. When he got a location, he yelled at Black to go.

Shiro went out looking for the green lion, but if Pidge had the cloaking device on, he was screwed.

Upon arriving at the location Black had gotten, he found only empty space. "Pidge?" He called over comms. There was no response. He leapt out of his lion and put his hand up, slowly moving forward to find the edge of the lion.

"Pidge," he said again. "Please answer me. I need you. You wouldn't let me run so why is it okay for you?"

"What are you talking about?" Pidge's voice reached him.

"Can we go back to the ship together?"

"I'm at the ship," Pidge's voice reached him.

"I'm next to the lion, Katie. And we're not on the ship." Shiro sighed. He was tired of people lying to him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Pidge replied. "I'm at the castle. In the green lion, in the hangar."

"Then take off your invisibility cloaking so I can see you."

"I just want to be left alone," Pidge snapped.

"No. I will not abandon you like this."

"You're not abandoning me."

"Just take the cloak down so I can see the lion."

"I _did_ , Shiro."

Shiro paused. "Don't lie!" He still couldn't see anything. "I'm tired of everyone lying to me!"

"Why do you just assume I'm lying to you?"

"Because I tracked the lion, Katie. I'm standing right next to it and can't see anything."

"And if you could?" Pidge asked.

"Pidge, just let me see you. I need to see that you're... not alone. I want to help, but I can't if you act like this..."

"I already told you, Shiro. You have nothing to offer me."

"Why not? What do you want?"

"Nothing you can offer me. Go home."

"Not without you."

"Why not?" Pidge asked. "You said it yourself, you don't want to be on a team with me anyways."

"I'm sorry. I messed up. A lot. But I'm not leaving without you, my little sister."

"I'm not your sister, Shiro. And I wish you'd stop pretending you care about me. Go back to Keith. He's the only reason you do anything."

"Pidge? I...what?"

"You heard me. I'm not stupid."

"Do you… know?"

"That you and Keith are sleeping together? Like I said," she spat, "I'm not stupid!"

He paused, feeling a little scared that she figured it out so fast. "Pidge, why does that mean I only do things for him?"

"I don't know, Shiro. Why does it?"

"I don't do everything just for Keith. I do things for everyone."

"Shiro, ever since you got back from training with him, if that's even what you were doing, you've only cared about Keith. You never asked how any one else's training went, you never bothered to check on anyone or make sure anyone else was okay. It was always Keith. And it still is."

"Keith was captured before I had the chance. I'd have done the same for you. If you'd been taken I wouldn't waste time asking everyone how training went. I'd have asked by now if you hadn't run off."

"No, you wouldn't have, Shiro," Pidge answered. And her voice was starting to be interspersed with static.

"Katie… Katie, please… talk to me. I'm sorry."

"Don't call me that," she said.

"Fine. Pidge. Please talk to me."

"I am talking to you, Shiro. You're just not listening."

"Fine. Keep talking and I'll just listen." He went quiet.

"Leave me alone. You don't want me on the team, so I'm not on the team."

"Pidge…" he whispered quietly. The others were coming. They'd probably tracked him and the Black Lion.

"Sorry, Shiro," Pidge said. The green lion disappeared from his radar. "I quit."

"Pidge!" Shiro ran back to the Black Lion but by the time he returned, it was too late. The green lion had disappeared.


	11. Alone

Shiro slammed his fists against his lion. "Damn it!"

Keith reached him over comms. "Shiro, what's going on?"

"I lost Pidge. I messed up."

"You… lost Pidge…?"

"She's gone. She's quitting Voltron because of me."

"And she took the green lion with her?" Keith sounded awestruck. "Why would you let her take the green lion?! We can't form Voltron without it."

"Thanks Keith. I'm well aware of that. But we just… need to find her."

"Yeah. If the Galra get their hands on that lion, we're screwed!"

"Oh? Really Keith? Like how they got you?"

He was met with stunned silence. Then Allura spoke. "Shiro, we need to get the green lion back."

"Screw Voltron! We need to get Pidge back!"

"I know," Allura said. "Where is she?"

"I don't know!" He yelled. "I don't know where she went and it's my fault she left."

"Shiro, we need to get her back. I ran the tests on the blood she gave me…"

"And I messed up! Got it." Shiro flew back to the ship and started running scans. "Come on Katie… I'm sorry…"

"Shiro, listen to me!" Allura snapped, storming up to him. "We need to get Pidge back here as soon as possible. There's something unusual in her blood!"

"I'm trying! But Pidge is not easy to track!"

"Shiro, can I help?" Keith asked over comms. He was still in his bed in the hospital wing.

"I don't know. She's mad Keith. About… about the training we did together…"

"She wouldn't run off because of that," Keith said, mortified. "Would she?"

"I messed up. If anyone should leave Voltron it's me. But we've got to focus on getting Pidge back first."

"Shiro, it was talk like that that set Pidge off in the first place," Allura chided. "No one is leaving Voltron!"

"Please! We need to get Katie back."

"We're working on it!" Allura snapped.

"Allura, you don't understand!" Shiro yelled.

"I understand you're one by one trying to push all of us away, but it's time to stop taking all the blame and let us help first!"

"I'm not trying to push anyone away!" Shiro snarled. "It's just happening."

"LET US HELP!" Allura snapped.

"God damn it! Katie is out there by herself somewhere with poison in her system or something! I need to help her!"

"And we're going to help her. But you need to calm down and let us help."

Shiro tossed a piece of equipment off the table where it smashed on the floor. "Shut _up_!"

Allura went back to working on finding Pidge, muttering under her breath about 'humans' and 'no manners whatsoever'.

Lance approached Shiro slowly. "Shiro..."

Shiro looked at him. "I… am apparently supposed to ask how training went." He frowned. Lance looked beyond confused. He looked from the smashed equipment on the floor to Shiro and then back to the equipment.

"Umm…"

"I messed up, Lance. And Keith and Pidge have to deal with my mistakes. And while I thought I'd be okay with that, it's hard. It's hard to be a leader."

"Well, duh," Lance said. "Look, let us handle this here. You go let Keith know what's going on."

"He knows. He's been yelling at me, too." He ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. "I'll go update him. Thanks Lance."

Keith was staring at his hands when Shiro walked in. He didn't meet his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he said, still refusing to look up.

"Can we talk? Please? I need someone to talk to."

"Sure, Shiro," Keith said. "Let's talk."

"Am I… a good leader?"

"That's a stupid question, Shiro. And not one you need to ask me. You know my answer."

"Pretty sure it's no," he sighed. "I got you and Katie infected with something that brings out your real feelings about me."

Keith stared at him, awestruck. "…What?"

"That's what it feels like. Like all the fears of how I behave, and how I act… that's how you guys are treating me."

"Shiro… I was poisoned… You can't… blame me for that," Keith said.

"I'm not mad at you. I just… really hate myself for pushing Pidge away."

Keith's chest felt heavy. "You didn't, Shiro… You can't blame yourself for what happened with Pidge. But you can't blame her either. Not if she's got poison in her system too."

"I miss… simpler times." He reached for his hand. "I wish this was easier."

Keith pulled away before Shiro could take his hand. He finally looked up and his eyes seemed almost broken…

Shiro nodded, pulling away. "Okay. I guess we never really had that talk…"

"Shiro… I don't want you to blame me for what happened…"

"I'm not blaming you." He looked at him. "I'm not mad. I just… what are we, Keith?"

"You are blaming me," Keith whispered. "You…"

"No… No, please don't take this the wrong way. Keith, please."

"I'm trying, Shiro. I really am. I just…" His voice dropped. "I asked you to kill me Shiro… How could you not blame me for something like that? How could I ask that of you?"

"You were drugged, remember?"

"That doesn't matter. I did it. I said it. I expected it."

"And I didn't. Keith please don't… it was the Galra."

Keith furiously wiped tears from his eyes and sniffed. "I know," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady.

"Keith, can I just… can we… can you come to my room so I can hold you?"

"Pidge needs us, Shiro. You really want to do this right now?"

"I don't know what to do Keith. I just want… I want Pidge back so I can help her, but I don't know how to find her and I don't know what I can do to make any of this better."

"I know, Takashi… I want her to come back too. I'm worried about her."

"I'm… terrified for her. I just… I haven't been sleeping. I should… ugh. I need to meditate."

Keith finally took Shiro's hand and squeezed it. "Let Allura take care of it."

"I need to be a better leader. You said no. I'll go help Allura."

Keith pulled Shiro down for a kiss, pressing his lips firmly over Shiro's. Just as quickly, he released him. Shiro relaxed at the kiss, almost tearing up. "Thanks, Keith."

"Go get Pidge," Keith said, in the same way a hero's love interest would say, 'Go save the world, tiger'. He pushed Shiro's chest gently.

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I'll go get her." He leaned in and kissed him again. Keith pressed up into his kiss, savoring it until the moment Shiro pulled away and vanished from the room.

Shiro headed back to the front of the ship. "Alright, let's get Pidge back and help her."

"Are you going to throw anything more?" Allura asked, casting a suspicious glance over her shoulder.

"I'm just going to help. We need to help Pidge."

"I think I might have a location on the green lion," Coran announced.

"Awesome. Let's scan the area for life forms, in case she left… or isn't alone."

"Either way, we have to go pick up the green lion," Coran said.

Shiro thought for a moment. "Lance, Hunk, and I can get the lion. You guys run the scans."

"Fine," Coran said. "But be careful!"

He nodded. "Lance, Hunk, I need your help. Let's get the Green Lion back to the ship. And we need to get Pidge back. She is our top priority."

They set off, and after a few hours of flying, arrived at the coordinates Coran had sent them. Coran had detected many life forms there, so they were ready for a fight, but when they arrived, the place looked deserted… like a giant heap of space junk. Shiro landed his lion and climbed out, bracing for a fight, but none came. Then he heard Lance over comms. "Whoa! This thing looks just like Keith!"

"Uh...what thing, Lance?" Shiro asked. He looked around. "Pidge? You around?"

"Come here!" Lance shouted. "There's one for you too, Shiro! And Hunk! And…" he busted out laughing. "Oh my god, it's Coran! Weird, there's one for every one of us except Pidge…"

"Then...Pidge probably made them." Shiro flew over to Lance. "She's always been an amazing creator."

"But then... where is she? These look old... like she's been here before..."

"This… if she was here alone… maybe… where she was when we were separated by the wormhole? But what are all the life forms?"

"And where's the green lion?" Hunk asked, inspecting the garbage version of him that sat before him.

"I don't know. Let's just, look around." Shiro bit his lip. "Pidge, come on. We need you."

They searched around for a moment, then Shiro shook his head. "Maybe we should split up. We might have better luck that way. Just… keep an eye on your lions. Shields up." The others nodded and departed.

Shiro sighed, getting into his lion. Pidge… well… she was good at sending out false signals. But this was getting frustrating. He flew around the nebula for awhile, getting a bit irritated by how big it was. Then Lance called over comms again.

"I found the green lion. But Pidge isn't anywhere I can see."

"Hunk, head over to Lance. I'll keep running scans to find Pidge."

"Okay."

Shiro sat back in his lion, waiting for it to scan for lifeforms. Soon, it showed him a large cluster of life forms, nearer the center of the nebula. He got out of his lion, wanting to be stealthy and moved, heading nearer, using the fake him to hide behind.

He crept over an outcropping and peeked below. There, surrounded by fluffy little… things… sat Pidge, crosslegged, the way she always sat when she was thinking. It looked like she was talking to them. Well, that explained the life forms. He watched her for a while, trying to figure out how to approach her. She was speaking fairly animatedly, that much Shiro could tell. She'd wave her arms around, gesture, plop her chin into her palm…

He watched for a moment longer, then moved in closer. "Pidge…? Hey, we've been worried about you." Pidge did not appear to hear him so he headed closer. "Hey, Pidge?"

Pidge jumped upon hearing her name, nearly launching herself off the ground where she sat. She whirled. "Shiro?"

"Hey. We've been worried about you. Who are your friends?"

Pidge didn't answer, and instead fled, leaping from one bit of trash to another, using her jetpack when she needed to.

"Pidge!" Shiro hurried after her, starting to ping his location so the others could follow him.

"I told you to leave me alone!" Pidge snarled as she darted away.

"Pidge we want to help just stop running!"

She made a beeline for her lion, but Hunk promptly cut her off and captured her in a tight bear hug. Shiro relaxed seeing her in his arms. "Get her into your lion, Hunk! I can drag the green lion back." He started for the black lion.

Pidge struggled against Hunk as he carted her toward the yellow lion. "Didn't you hear me?" she screamed at Shiro. "I quit! You can't drag me back!"

Hunk ignored her, dragging her into his lion and making sure she couldn't get out. "You can leave after Allura treats you."

"I don't want Allura to treat me!" Pidge yelled. "I want to go back! Let me go!"

"Sorry. Gotta follow orders." Hunk started back for the castle.

"I just want to be left alone for awhile! Why can't you let me have that?"

"Because you're sick and haven't eaten. Food's important."

"I _have_ eaten! I ate before I left! And that doesn't matter anyway, I know how to get my own food! I want you to take me back right now! Tell Shiro I jumped out of the lion or something. Just take me back to my friends!"

"We're your friends." He flew into the castle. "Come on, Pidge."

Allura grabbed her arm and gave her a shot. "I'm sorry, but you need this."

Pidge did not immediately fall unconscious the way Keith had. Instead, she struggled against Hunk, screaming bloody murder. Hunk swallowed tears but didn't let go. Shiro jumped out and grabbed Pidge, hugging her.

"I'm right here. Whether you want me to be or not. We're family Pidge. Just… let us be family."

Pidge's face slowly lost all of it's color and her screaming grew more hoarse as she wore her voice down, but she still struggled vehemently, tears pouring down her cheeks, the screams punctuated with sobs. Her eyes grew unseeing. Shiro held her. "I'll never leave you. And I'll do everything to get them back. I miss them too." He held her, heading for the hospital so they could help her relax in bed.

By the time they arrived there, Pidge had used most of her energy and was pretty much hanging limp in Shiro's grasp. They pushed into the hospital, and Keith sat up at the sight of her. Shiro laid her on one of the beds. "Get some rest. We'll be here for you."

"What happened to her?" Keith asked, looking horrified at her limp body.

"She had what you had. But flew away before we could help."

"I could hear her screaming from all the way over here!" Keith snapped. "Did I do that?"

Coran shook his head. "No, Keith, you just kind of passed out. Pidge was worried she'd killed you."

Shiro rubbed Keith's back. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I feel like maybe I could walk around. I'm also really hungry."

Hunk lit up. "Food! Let's go eat!" He grabbed Keith and started for the kitchen. Keith stumbled after him, very unsteady on his feet. He shot Shiro a look before disappearing. Shiro watched him go. He'd come get him after spending a little time with Pidge while she slept. He pulled a chair up and sat down next to her bed. She looked a little more peaceful, now that she was unconscious and a whole lot like Matt… He took her limp hand.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten your family back yet."

He examined her fingers. On her wrist, crusted with dried blood, was a long, deep gash. Blood coated her hand and was caught under and around her fingernails. He got up, heading to get things to clean them. He was swift in cleaning the blood from her fingers, though it lingered around her nails like a bad nail polish that just would _not_ come off. The cut on her wrist was a little more difficult. Still, he did his best and then wrapped it in gauze. "I'm here for you, Katie."

She didn't respond, but the color was slowly returning to her face. He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You really are a great sister."

"Shiro?" Lance's voice behind him startled him. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm tired and worried about Katie." He sat up.

"Well… yeah, but… What about you?"

"I'm fine. I might… go get something to eat with Hunk and Keith."

Lance nodded. "I'll stay here with Pidge. She's in good hands with me." He flashed a smile.

Shiro nodded. "No crappy jokes until she's well enough to respond."

Lance chuckled a little. "None of my jokes are crappy, Shiro."

"Mhmm. Right." Shiro laughed, then headed for the kitchen.

Keith was scarfing down a bowl of food goo when Shiro walked into the kitchen

Hunk was eating...something. But wasn't paying much attention to them. Shiro went and sat next to Keith. "Do I… do I show you preferential treatment?"

Keith looked puzzled. "What?"

"Something Pidge said to me."

"Speak english, Shiro."

"Is this not english? Pidge just… thinks I always do more for you than the others."

"Well… from what Coran told me…" Keith looked down sheepishly.

"What did Coran tell you?"

"That you did a lot of stupid things when I was out…"

"Well, I did. But what were his ideas of the stupid things I did?"

"He said you refused to eat or sleep while I was in the healing pod, ran off to hide in your lion while I was trapped inside my head and threatened to leave Voltron after you punched me out."

"Yeah. I'd hoped I was infected, too…" He sighed. "I'm not. Just an idiot."

Keith smiled a little. "We knew that already."

He gently shoved him. "Still starving?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means I want to know if you'd like to go for a walk?"

Keith set his fork down. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Shiro nodded. "Alright, let me know if you get tired." He stood up, then helped Keith up.

Keith was steadier on his feet now, and only needed to lean against Shiro a little bit as they walked. Shiro let him lead the way, content to simply walk with him.

"How's Pidge?" Keith asked.

"Better, I think." He sighed. "I hope she feels better when she wakes up."

"What do we do if she doesn't?"

"Then I be the best family to her I can. And help her feel better. And we focus on finding her real family."

"What if she still wants to quit?"

"I… don't know… I hope she doesn't."

"Pidge is important to everyone on the team… we're not a team without her…"

"I know. I need her here, with Voltron. We all do."

Keith stopped walking. "Hold on," he said. "I'm a little dizzy."

Shiro held him up. "Do you want to go rest in your room?"

"No, it's okay. I just need to…"

"Need to?" He frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Shiro. I'm fine. I just…" He took a deep breath. "Let me sit down for a second." Shiro nodded, helping him over to a seat.

"Sorry," Keith managed. "I'm just… tired…"

"It's fine. You should get some rest."

"I still feel a little hazy," Keith confessed.

"I'm… sorry you had to go through this."

"Why are you sorry?" Keith asked. "This whole thing was my fault, remember?"

"Because… I don't know. I guess I didn't protect you and I feel awful you got hurt…"

"Shiro. You told me that if I hadn't run off and gotten myself kidnapped, none of this would have happened. And you were right. You can't blame yourself for my stupid move."

"Keith...that was stupid of me. I didn't know you'd been poisoned and I just… said and did a lot of dumb stuff."

"Don't apologize for my stupid decision," Keith said again. "You were right."

"I don't want right and wrong in this. My friends got hurt."

"Because I was an idiot. Not you, Shiro. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's mine. And if Pidge… if anything happens to her… that's my fault too."

"Keith… can…" Shiro shook his head and sighed. "Let me help you to your room so you can sleep."

"I want to talk about this!"

"I don't want you to sit and blame yourself, Keith."

"I'm being honest with myself, Shiro."

"Maybe we should both just… go be with Pidge for when she wakes up?"

"She wouldn't want to see me," Keith muttered.

"Let's… test that theory." He stood up.

Keith was staring at his hands once again, as if just noticing the dried blood there for the first time. "Just… let me know how it goes."

"Keith…" Shiro picked him up. "You're coming with me. And we'll all talk. Then… we can talk about us and figure that part out."

"Shiro, please," Keith begged.

"I can't let you and Pidge fight. We need to talk this through."

"It's not fighting, Shiro! It's me giving her the space I think she's going to want!"

"No more deciding for each other. Unless she wakes up and asks you to leave, you're resting in the hospital." He smiled a little. "Fight me about it later."

"Bad choice of wording, Shiro," Keith grumbled. "I don't want to go. She's not going to want to see me! Think about it! I ran off and got myself in trouble. I put her in danger coming to find me, I come home and she has to tech me out to see how to get me out of my own head… literally! I come back and want to kill everything. So she goes out of her way to make an antidote and how do I pay her back? Infecting her with the poison… a knife in her back… she doesn't want to see me."

"You… stabbed her?" He stopped walking.

"Metaphorically speaking, Shiro! I didn't actually stab a knife into her back."

"Okay… woo. Okay." He let out a breath. "Sorry. I never really know what you think when you're… well… poisoned."

Keith sighed. "Put me down, Shiro. I can't face her."

"If I have to face you, you have to face her." He kissed his cheek. "Come on."

Keith pushed away from Shiro, getting onto his feet. "I'm not doing this, Shiro. No way."

"Keith, you have to. If you and Pidge don't get along there isn't Voltron. And I don't want to see my friends fight."

"I told you, Shiro. It's not fighting. It's giving her space. If she wants to see me, she can ask for me. Until then, I'm going to keep my distance. Please don't try to stop me."

Shiro stared at him for a long time, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he caved. Keith was as stubborn as he was smart. "Fine. But don't run away this time, please?"

"I promise. I'll stay here." Keith gave him a halfhearted smile. "You can lock me in my room if you don't trust me."

"Hell no. That… that'd only be if I were in there, too."

Keith chuckled, his voice low. "That's gay, Shiro."

He snorted. "Oh yeah?"

"But seriously, Shiro. If you're afraid I'll run off, lock me up somewhere. I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me. I certainly don't."

"We have to work on the trust. I can't lock you up. That won't help at all." He sighed, "Let me help you to your room. I'll… go spend time with Katie."

Keith grabbed his hand. "Please… Shiro… I don't trust myself. Like I said, my head still feels kinda hazy. I'm afraid I might try to run off."

Shiro nodded. Pidge had others to watch her. And if Keith didn't trust himself…" I'll wait with you."

"No," Keith asserted. "You have to be there for Pidge! You know you do! Just lock me in my room and let me know how things go. But you have to go. I love you, Shiro, but you can't stay with me right now."

"I can't lock anyone from Voltron up. I can't."

"Please, Shiro. I'm begging you."

"You begged me to kill you and I couldn't do that either." He walked back towards Keith's room, then jumped on the comms. "Coran I need a favor."

"What is it, Shiro?" Keith asked, reluctantly followed Shiro back to his room.

"Pidge locked me in my room. It's why my hand is broken."

"I know."

"And I can't lock you up. I can't. I spent a year breaking out of confinement. I can't put you in it."

Coran came on the comms. "Yes, Shiro?"

"Watch Keith for me. Don't let him run off."

"Will do, Shiro. Give me a few ticks." Shiro looked at Keith, who was shaking his head. "Locking me in my room for a few minutes isn't confinement, Shiro. Not really..."

"We think differently. But I'm not locking you up."

"Just go take care of Pidge," Keith said. "I'll get Coran to lock the door."

"Sure." Shiro kissed his cheek. "See you later, Keith." He let go of him and headed back to see how Pidge was doing once Coran arrived.

"Coran, I need a favor from you," Keith said as soon as Shiro had walked away.

Coran looked at him. "What's up, Keith? How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling okay," he said. "But my head is still kinda hazy and I'm scared I might flip out and try to run away again. Shiro refused to help me. But you should be there to take care of Pidge too… Could you just lock me in my room so I don't run off? So you can go help Pidge?"

Coran stared at him. "You can lock it from the inside, you know."

"I know. But I'd be able to unlock it from the inside too. I need you to lock it so I can't get out."

"Erm… okay. But get on comms when you want out and I'll come unlock it."

Keith nodded and stepped into the room. Before he closed the door he said, "Don't let Shiro come let me out," he said. Then he shut the door and waited until he heard a click to tell him Coran had locked it. He waited a few moments, then tried the knob. It didn't turn.


	12. Awake and Asleep

Shiro went and sat with Pidge, hoping she didn't hate him when she woke up.

The first thing she registered upon waking was the fact that her throat burned.

Shiro stood up. "Hey you." He grabbed some water Allura had set out for her. "You might want this." Pidge stared at it, uncomprehendingly, for a long time. "Pidge?" Shiro watched her. "How you feeling?"

"Like I swallowed a knife," she said after a long moment, her voice certainly sounding like she had, raspy and quiet.

"Sip some water." He held the cup towards her. "Knives aren't easy to swallow."

Pidge reached for the cup, then noticed her bandaged hand. She started to pick at the bandage, dropping her focus from the water.

"Hey, I worked hard on that." Shiro took her hand. "Get a drink, please."

Pidge took the glass from Shiro, drank the water and dropped the glass on the floor, where it shattered.

"Woah… Pidge…" He jumped up to start cleaning up the glass.

"Crap," she muttered. "Sorry, Shiro…"

"It's alright. Not hard to clean up, just… you okay?"

"I think I'm gonna throw up," she managed to tell him.

He quickly grabbed a bucket and moved it over to her, then went and got a plastic cup of water for her to sip when she was done.

Pidge gladly accepted the water, washing the taste of bile out of her mouth. This time, she set the cup on the table next to her bed, her hand shaking.

Shiro took the bucket and went to clean it out. "How's your head?"

Pidge coughed painfully then relaxed into the pillows. "Also feels like it got stabbed," she said.

"Alright then." He brought her a clean bucket. "I'll see if there's any food goo that's easy on your stomach and throat, just for when you feel hungry."

Pidge nodded and curled up on her side, closing her eyes tight.

Shiro left and found some things he thought might help, then returned and put his hand on her shoulder. "Do you remember much of what happened?"

She nodded, not opening her eyes. Shiro could see tears glistening on her nose and cheeks.

He grabbed a handkerchief and wiped them away. "I'm here, Pidge. You're not alone."

She shook her head, refusing to say anything.

"It's okay to feel like this, but I'd like to support you."

"Why?" She asked, her voice small.

"Because you're the closest thing to family I have."

She sniffed. "I'm sorry, Shiro…"

"It's alright. You still said some pretty insightful things while yelling at me."

"Like what? Because everything I remember was really hurtful and unfair."

"I'm not here for you enough. I don't focus enough on everyone individually. And that you're smarter and more observant than I give you credit for."

"Is my lion okay?" She asked, almost as if she hadn't heard him. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"Your lion is fine. You just… hurt our ears a little." She looked thoroughly confused. "You screamed a lot. It's why your throat hurts." He rubbed her shoulder.

"You promise I didn't hurt anyone?"

"Just words, Pidge." He poked her forehead. "We'll be okay."

"Don't lie to me to make me feel better, Shiro."

"Pidge, you said hurtful things. As far as I know only to me. Possibly to Keith. But… I'm right here. Talking to you. Not mad."

Pidge lifted her arm up and pointed at the bandage. "I didn't stay away from hurting people," she said. "And the things I said to you… they were worse than anything…"

"And yet I'm not going to argue with you. I'll… work at the root of what you told me. I'm not here enough for you, that's for certain."

"Did I hurt Keith?"

"No," Shiro said. "I don't think so. But… Pidge, how did you become infected?"

She shook her head. "I don't know," she confessed.

"That's the part that scares me the most." He held her hand. "I don't want to think about how it spread to you."

"Did the antidote work?"

"It did. He's doing better. It's slow, but he's getting better. And how are you feeling? Still feel like yelling at me?"

"I don't know what I feel like, Shiro. Except maybe an asshole."

"That's alright. I feel like that a lot, too." He smiled. "When you're better, I'll help you work on whatever you need to get information on where Matt and your Dad are. And every time we deal with the Galra, I'll help you get software where it needs to go so we can try and track them down."

"I wanted to go find them," she said. "That's why I took the green lion… But then… I just… couldn't."

"Who were your friends? The ones you went to?"

"I met them awhile back when the Green Lion stranded me there… I don't know why I went back… I figured… maybe they would listen."

"I'm glad you had friends to go back to. And statues of us for some reason." He winked.

"I got lonely the last time I was there. And I didn't want you to follow me. I didn't know you'd find them."

"I'm not good at following orders when I think the orders are bad."

Pidge's face darkened. "But I get in trouble when I do the same thing…"

"You gotta figure out how to disobey. It's the downside of being a teenager. Lots to figure out."

"I got thrown in a room by myself and yelled at when I disobeyed your stupid orders."

"Katie… I… was locked up for a year." He looked away from her. "I was scared. Terrified. And there's a difference between ordering you as the leader of Voltron, and begging you as a friend. But it's a fine line and hard to see sometimes. Especially if I tell you I'm ordering you when I'm actually begging." He laughed. "Well, that made a lot of nonsense."

"You don't want me on the team anymore," Pidge said, her voice small.

"I don't want a sick Pidge on the team. The real Pidge, though, is integral. More necessary than I am."

Pidge shook her head. "All that stuff did was make me act how I really am."

"No, it made you act on your fears and self doubt. I need you as part of Voltron, Pidge. Please don't leave."

"It reminded me that I'm not supposed to be here," she told him, almost like she hadn't heard him.

"Pidge… there is no creature in the universe more suited to pilot the green lion than you."

"But I'm not good for Voltron. You said it yourself, Shiro. There's no trust. And with no trust… no Voltron."

"So we build trust again." He ruffled her hair. "We practice. We did that on our own, now we practice together."

"I need to apologize to Keith… to everyone…"

"So does Keith. And so do I. We'll make this work. And we'll be stronger for it."

"I'm sorry, Shiro."

He smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't catch your illness in time."

"I should've been more careful," Pidge said. "I had a feeling something was up… So I was going to put aside a little blood for you to test while I stayed in my lion. I even told Green not to let me go anywhere… But then… when I pressed the knife to my wrist… I just wanted to…" She sniffed, her voice choking off.

"Shh. It's fine. I don't need an explanation." He pulled her into a hug. "If you ever feel like that again, please come to me."

"It wasn't me, Shiro. I don't ever… do anything like that… That was when I really knew something was wrong. But I didn't try to stop it."

"It was because of the poison. It's not your fault, Pidge. Though… do you hate it when I call you Katie?"

Pidge looked startled. "Why would you think that?"

"You asked me not to call you that." He shrugged. "Wasn't sure if it was the poison or you just not liking that I use your name."

Pidge slumped a little, energy draining out of her. Energy she didn't even seem to have. "I don't even remember that."

"Then, which do you prefer?"

"It doesn't matter to me, Shiro. Pidge is my alias, but Katie is my name. Matt… knows Pidge. He knows Katie. But Keith, Lance and Hunk don't know Katie."

"And I know both. In Voltron I call you Pidge to avoid confusion. But… as my adoptive sister, you're Katie."

"I know… I'm sorry, Shiro… I really am."

"Don't be." He stood up and gave her a long tight hug. "You're amazing."

"I'm not."

"The Green Lion wouldn't choose someone that wasn't amazing."

"Yeah, it would. It only chose me because it had no other options."

"Why don't you ask the Green Lion why it picked you?" He rubbed her back.

"Been there, tried that. No response."

"Then let's go together. Black and Green. We'll work it out."

"I want to talk to Keith," Pidge said, sudden, barely concealed anger in her voice.

"…Um… alright. I'll go get him." He stood up, heading out to get Keith. Pidge relaxed into the pillows, closing her eyes.

Shiro knocked on Keith's door. "Hey… Pidge is asking for you." Keith didn't respond. "Come on, Keith." He went to open the door, frowning when he found it locked. He unlocked it and went inside. "Keith?"

Keith was laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, unmoving.

He went and sat next to him. "Keith, are you alright? Pidge wants to see you?" Keith offered no answer. "Keith… are you alright?"

Keith's eyes were firmly locked on the ceiling.

Shiro looked him over. "Is something wrong? Keith I need… blink? Please." Keith did not move. Shiro checked for a pulse and breathing, then picked him up. More hospital time for everyone. Upon picking him up, he found that Keith was completely limp, like he was unconscious. His eyes didn't move or even flicker.

Shiro closed his eyes and hurried to the hospital. "Allura I need help. Keith is unconscious."

He laid Keith down in the bed just a few down from Pidge, who didn't move when they entered. She was curled up under her blankets, asleep.

Shiro grabbed a chair and sat between them. Allura rushed in and started looking Keith over.

"This is so strange," he said as she looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Just… why is he limp, Allura? What's going on?"

"I don't know. It may just be an aftereffect of the antidote."

"Then we should watch Pidge incase something happens to her.

"Shiro, I need to know exactly what happened with Keith. How long has he been this way?"

"I don't know. I found him this way when I went to get him so he could talk to Pidge."

 _"How long?"_

"Maybe a few minutes to half an hour?"

"That's not good…"

"I don't know, Allura. I wasn't there when he passed out." He rubbed his forehead. "Why is everything so wrong?"

"I'm worried about some of the ingredients in the antidote…"

"Allura…" Shiro stared at her. "Fix it. Please. Just… fix it."

"I'm working on it, Shiro. It could also be that he's just exhausted… It's normal to fall asleep when you're tired."

"With your eyes open?" Shiro clenched his fists. "Allura… make them better. I need them better."

"I'm working on it'

He nodded. "Ok… thanks." He rubbed Pidge's arm.

She groaned and looked up, sleep evident in the creases from the blankets on her face. "What?" she asked.

"Just rest. I'm worried about some stuff."

"Where's Keith?"

"On my other side. He's not awake."

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know. And I'm worried about you too."

"Sorry, Shiro."

"It's fine. Just a little freaked out and tired myself…" He looked at Allura. "Want to put three fifths of Voltron back into healing pods?"

"Three, Shiro?"

"Me too. I haven't slept or eaten in the better part of two days. I'm not doing well."

"A healing pod won't help that, Shiro. If you're unwell because you haven't eaten, food will fix it."

"Princess… I'm scared. And I can't hide that I'm scared. I… I'll go." He stood up. "I'll try and eat and get some sleep."

"Coran will help me get Keith into a healing pod. But Shiro…"

"Yeah?" He looked at her.

She shook her head. "Never mind," she said. "It's nothing…"

He nodded. "Later, then." He headed out of the room, glancing at Keith and Pidge, then went to his room to curl up and try to sleep. Allura called Coran and together they carried Keith to a healing pod.

Coran looked at her. "Princess, is there something we need to tell Shiro?"

"I'm just worried… what if there is still poison in him? Pidge mentioned that the pods activated it the first time…"

"Will it hurt him to put in more antidote?"

"I don't know…"

"So… we take a chance and use the healing pod. And we can calibrate it to look for the new poison."

"I suppose so… I wonder why all of this is happening…"

"Perhaps it's a test, Princess. To try and bring Voltron closer together. Even Hunk and Lance are getting along with each other more."

"Perhaps. Well… let's get him in and calibrate…"

He nodded. "Yes, Princess." He helped load Keith in and then got to work on calibrating the new poison's information into the healing pod.

"All we can do now is wait… and keep an eye on Pidge."

"Of course. I'll do that so you can rest. It's been a long couple of days."

Allura watched Keith for a moment, then went to rest with her mice. Coran returned to the hospital and sat beside Pidge.

Pidge looked over at Coran. "What's going on?"

"Keith isn't doing well, so we put him back into a healing pod. Shiro isn't doing well so he's locked himself in his room. And you're not doing well so you're here. I think Hunk and Lance are playing what you call basketball."

Pidge didn't seem to listen beyond Coran's first statement. "Keith's not doing well?" She sounded intrigued, rather than worried.

"He was unconscious when Shiro went to get him."

"Do you think it was something in the antidote?"

"We don't know. He could just still be sick. But I recalibrated the healing pod."

Pidge starting to pull herself out of bed. "I should help."

"No, you rest. You need the rest, Shiro needs the rest, Keith needs the rest… well lets just have a resting party."

Pidge shot him a weird look. "Coran… if I can help him…"

"You can help by resting." He smiled.

Pidge glared at him. "Fine," she said. She rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head. The rest of the day passed without any more weird stuff happening, which was fine by everyone.

Shiro managed to get some sleep, then came to check Pidge after a few hours. "Hey."

"Hi," she said, her voice still hoarse.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Want to sleep some more?" He sat next to her.

"Not particularly," she replied.

"Alright. What would you like to do?"

"I want to help."

"Okay." He took her hand and helped her up. "Let's check on Keith."

They made their way to the healing pod and looked in at Keith. Shiro didn't say much and just did what he could to support Pidge in what she wanted.


	13. Into The Healing Pod

"I'm a little surprised by this," she said after a few minutes. "I engineered the antidote in a pretty short amount of time, but I don't think I overlooked any ingredients that could have this kind of effect…"

"Maybe you were infected by that point."

"So… you think I put something in there to hurt him… on purpose?"

"No. Not at all. I mean maybe you put something in without knowing."

It was too late. Pidge was on the defensive. "Why would you even imply that I meant to hurt him?"

"Pidge! I meant you didn't know it'd hurt him."

"I wouldn't be careless about it like that."

"Alright. Well, then lets see if he's allergic to it or something."

Pidge was suddenly much quieter and more sullen as she continued to work.

"I'm sorry Pidge. I shouldn't have phrased it like that."

"Here. Full diagnostics on what's going on in his body right now," she said curtly.

"Thanks… but I don't fully understand it all. It's in Altean."

Pidge rolled her eyes, pressed a few buttons and the whole screen translated to english.

He started reading the screen. "You're an immense help, Pidge. Thank you."

"Well, let's just hope I'm not the cause of this too."

"You're not. It's the Galra." He sighed. "It's always been the Galra."

"If it's something in the antidote," Pidge argued. "That's on me."

"But it's still not your fault. You made it quickly because he needed the help."

"Shiro... what if... what if it turns out I did do something to hurt him?"

"Because of the Galra. You were poisoned too."

Pidge shook her head. "Dwelling on this isn't helping him right now," she muttered, mostly to herself.

Shiro put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for helping."

"I think I got something," she said after several minutes of silence.

"Oh?" Shiro moved over to her. "What is it?"

"Antidote," Pidge said, her voice dark. "It was something in the antidote… A chemical…"

"That he's allergic to?"

Pidge backed away from the monitor and the healing pod, looking up at Keith guiltily. Her knees buckled underneath her and she stumbled.

Shiro caught her. "So your poison got to him. It's not your fault." He held her tightly. "Thank you for helping, especially in a terrible situation."

"Shiro, you don't understand. Keith's not allergic to it…" She looked pale.

"I know. I know what you meant. You still helped."

"Shiro! I poisoned him! And I…" She sagged against him. "It's…"

He held her. "No, the Galra did. Twice. They just used you, Pidge. I'm not mad. I'm still grateful for your help."

"Shiro..." she sounded terrified.

"Katie, I'm here and I don't blame you. You did your best under horrible circumstances. And you still helped him. He'll heal from this."

Pidge suddenly felt very cold. "Shiro…" she said again, her voice a tiny, terrified whisper. "It's in me too."

Shiro held onto her. "Then we get you in the healing pod. We'll work this out." He kissed her forehead. "I won't let you get hurt." He moved over to a healing pod and started setting it up.

Pidge shook her head. "No, Shiro. Don't make me do that. Please..."

"I have to let you get better. I cannot lose you."

Pidge stumbled backward, trying to get away from the pod.

"Katie, what is going on? You need help..."

"Please don't make me..."

"I can't let you get more hurt."

"Shiro... I..." she took another step away from him as he moved closer.

"Katie, you?"

"I don't... the healing pod..."

"I need a full sentence." He stepped forward and swept her into his arms. His grip was strong, but gentle..

She squirmed. "No! Please don't make me!"

"I'm overriding your wishes. I'm sorry. I have to. I can't let you get hurt." He set her down in the pod.

"I'm begging you!"

"Keith begged me to kill him. You're begging me to let you die. Nope. Not going to happen." He shut the pod door. "I'm sorry, Katie. But you need to get better."

Pidge slammed her hands on the glass, tears pouring down her face. She was screaming at him, but the pod muffled the sound.

"I'm sorry." He activated the pod, then called Allura and Coran to come take care of her.

"What happened?" Allura asked upon arrival.

"There's a poison in the antidote. Pidge accidentally made it that way… She… she needs help, Allura."

Allura examined Pidge through the pod glass. "She looks terrified."

"She didn't want to be locked up in there. But I can't let her get hurt from this. I _can't_ let the Galra win."

"Why didn't she want to? Why did it scare her so badly?"

"I don't know. Just help me make it better!"

"Honestly, Shiro, I'd really prefer it if you'd stop bossing everyone around. You may be Voltron's leader, but you don't own the other paladins."

"Yeah? Well, I'm not letting Katie die."

"Think about it this way, Shiro. From what I can see on her face, she was just as terrified of being locked up as you were, and you chastised and chided and punished her for doing that. Then you turned around and did it to her. But you don't own her, Shiro."

"Allura, she needs the care. You want to lock me up over trying to save her from poison, fine. I'll lock myself up. I know she's scared, and if two people fit in a healing pod I'd have gone in with her."

"That's not the point I'm trying to make," Allura said. Then she waved Shiro off.

Shiro left the room. Everyone wanted him locked up so fine. He'd go lock himself up. Cause some more panic attacks and just… Keith really would be a better leader than he was…

Shiro went to his room, and then called Hunk over comms. "Can you come to my room please?"

"Um… sure." Shiro knew Hunk would do what he asked of him. Still, his heart jumped into his throat a little as he waited. Finally, Hunk came into the room. "Yeah?"

"I need you to lock me in here," Shiro said. "And… tie my hands so I don't hurt myself…"

"Um… Shiro. I… um… why?"

"Because I'm asking you to!"

He shook his head. "I won't tie you up." He couldn't.

"Hunk, I need you to do this for me. If you won't, I'll ask Lance."

"And I'll tell him not to. No more locking people up. It's weird and wrong."

"Hunk, I need you to help me. Please. If you don't bind my hands, I might hurt myself..."

"Nope." He shut the door. "Just don't hurt yourself."

"Hunk!" Shiro yelled. Hunk locked the door behind himself, at least.

Shiro curled up into a ball. At least Voltron being ruined was his fault this time. It didn't take long for the panic to set in. Shiro paced around, trying to keep himself occupied.

Hunk went and got Lance. "Um, Shiro thinks he's going to hurt himself and Pidge and Keith are in healing pods. What do we do?"

"What did Shiro do?"

"He asked me to tie him up. I locked him in his room but he wanted me to tie him up too?"

"But why?" Lance asked.

"I don't know. I'm confused."

"Hunk, man, you're always confused. Just go get something to eat. I'll go talk to Shiro."

"Hey! I'm not always confused!"

"Go eat, Hunk."

"Yeah, whatever." He grumbled, heading to the kitchen.

Lance made his way to Shiro's room and lightly rapped on the door. "Shiro?"

He flinched. "Not now, Lance."

"Come on. Talk to me, what's happening?"

"I messed up. Just… gotta deal with it."

"Not a good enough answer, Shiro."

"Lance, I locked Pidge in a healing pod when she begged me not to. She's terrified. And I did that do her."

"Why was she so scared of it? Shiro, what is going on?!"

"I… I don't know." He got up. "I need to let her out." He started for the door.

Lance looked at the lock, waiting for Shiro to remember.

Shiro ran into it. "Shit, Lance… let Pidge out of her pod…"

"Shiro..."

"She didn't want to go in so let her out…"

"I can't just let her out, Shiro, you know that… those pods are delicate and weird."

"Then lock me in one. I don't know. I… I'm not a good leader… I need to… stop being a leader..."

"You're being stupid, Shiro. It's just stress. You need to stop expecting so much from yourself and so little from your team. You are a good leader. But you need to trust us too."

"I do trust you guys… I think… " he leaned against the door. "I need some time alone… but could you unlock the door?"

"You asked Hunk to lock you in... I feel like it should stay that way. Especially if you want to just go rip Pidge out of a healing pod."

"I'll stay in here. I promise. But I'm not good with locks..."

"I know, Shiro... but..."

"Please trust me."

"I do trust you, Shiro. But you need to trust us. Just hang tight and let Allura handle this." And with that, Lance walked away, leaving the door locked.

Shiro curled up, letting the panic set in. He needed to do something different because how he was leading wasn't working anymore. He took a deep breath. He'd just have to trust that everyone else could fix this.


	14. I Don't Hate You

Allura fussed over the pods holding Keith and Pidge for a moment, then sat down next to Pidge. "Don't worry, Pidge," Allura said. "We'll fix this. You'll be okay." Pidge's face was almost forcefully relaxed into something less terrifying. Allura looked at her hands. "Voltron is in shambles," she said.

"A little bit." Lance's voice startled her.

She turned. "Lance! What are you doing over here?"

"Thought I'd come check on Pidge and Keith," he said, sitting down next to her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, princess.

"It's fine. Just been working a lot to help Voltron out." She smiled. "Everything will be okay."

"I know," Lance said. He looked at Pidge. "Wow, she really does look freaked out, huh?"

"Yes. I'm working to get her out as soon as I can, so she can not be so scared."

Lance leaned back on his elbows, the way he did when he wasn't trying to flirt or impress anyone. "Galra have some freaky stuff now, don't they?"

"Yes, they do." She frowned. "It's frustrating. We're ten thousand years behind..."

Lance cast a sidelong glance at her. "We'll figure it out," he said. "We'll fix this and get Voltron back together and we'll win." He sighed, his eyes suddenly far away. "We have to."

She nodded. "We really do." Allura went back to work.

"Is there anything I can do to help, princess?"

She bit her lip. "Make sure everyone gets some rest, meals, and… keep Shiro in his room."

"Will do, princess. And don't worry about Shiro. Hunk already locked him in. But... can I ask why?"

"He needs to work through how to be a leader that doesn't make Pidge's face look like that."

"It is a little unsettling, I'll give you that," Lance said. "I think... with everything going on with Pidge and Keith and him... he's stressed."

"I know. But he must to learn to be better than this."

"I agree, princess. I'll go make sure everyone else is taken care of. You should get some rest too."

"I will. Coran will take over once he's rested."

Lance nodded and left the room.

Allura went back to work, hoping beyond hope that this would make Voltron stronger in the end.

It didn't take long for Coran to come in and tell Allura to get some rest. He entered the room with a warm smile

Allura nodded. "Yes, thank you, Coran. Please wake me up if you need help." She headed out to get some sleep. Coran bent over the controls and started trying to continue Allura's work. However, there wasn't much more to do but wait.

Shiro stayed locked in his room even after Allura announced that they could wake up Pidge and Keith. Or at the very least, get them out of their healing pods. She had Coran and Lance move Keith and Hunk took Pidge. They laid them in beds and Allura hooked them up to different scanners to check to see how they were doing. Keith woke up first, looking around, confused as to how he moved from his room to the hospital Hunk was sitting nearby, nervously munching on a snack.

"Keith! Hey buddy! How are you?"

"How did I get here?"

"Shiro brought you here when you passed out."

"Passed out? When did I…?"

"Couple days ago. Complications from the antidote I think. Pidge got sick, too."

Keith looked over at where Pidge was lying, her skin white and beaded with sweat. "Didn't Pidge... make the antidote?"

Allura stepped into the room and nodded. "She did, while infected with the poison."

Understanding dawned on Keith, and he looked at Pidge a bit more apprehensively. "Oh."

"She didn't mean to, Keith." Allura checked his vitals. "Well, she did when it came to herself, but the Galra poison was not something I was prepared to handle."

Keith nodded. "That poison drove me crazy... I tried to kill myself..." Still, he couldn't take his eyes off of Pidge now. "I... don't blame her," he forced himself to say.

"She did save you, Keith."

"I know... Is she okay?"

"She hasn't woken up yet. Shiro locked her in a healing pod against her will. He hasn't left his room since." She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "We unlocked his door over twelve varga ago, but… he hasn't left yet."

Keith relaxed into the blankets. "Sounds like him... the not leaving his room part... he really locked Pidge in?"

"He's forgotten that what he thinks is best doesn't negate some sort of communication first."

"Wow. That doesn't sound like Shiro at all... he's all about communication."

"It's frustrating, that's for sure." Allura sighed. "His blood samples came back normal, but he's… not himself."

"He's stressed," Hunk said, still sitting where Keith had forgotten him.

"Being a leader is stressful, Hunk. Shiro should still be capable."

"I just hope Pidge is back to normal," Hunk said, gently playing with her fingers. "I miss her."

"We all do, Hunk." Allura went and checked on her. "How are you feeling Keith? Hungry?"

"Starving," he said with a small smile.

Hunk jumped up. "I'll get you some food!" He ran out to the kitchen.

Keith watched Allura fuss over Pidge for a second. "Do you think Voltron will be okay?"

"It has to be." She answered. "We can't afford to lose it."

Keith nodded. "We'll be fine," he said, mostly to himself. Though he wasn't sure he believed it.

Soon, Hunk came back with a tray of food for Keith. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Hunk." Keith tore into the food, like a wild animal. Allura mentally urged Pidge to wake up. She missed having her around to talk to.

Pidge didn't respond, and Allura sat down on the edge of the bed. "It'll be okay," Keith said again.

She nodded. "I hope so." She watched Pidge a moment longer, then went and got Coran. She needed a break, as she worried over the fate of Voltron.

Keith rolled over in bed as soon as Allura left the room. "Pidge..."

Hunk looked at her as well. "I hope she's okay. You think she's okay?"

"I don't know... did she really try to kill me?"

"No!" Hunk panicked. "She was sick. She saved you but messed up a little."

"But didn't she go crazy awhile after she made the antidote?" Keith asked.

"Crazy enough for us to notice, maybe. I don't know how the poison worked, Keith. But she saved you. That's all."

Keith still looked apprehensive. "I wonder if she hates me," he said.

"Nope." Hunk shook his head. "I doubt it."

"She... well... that poison from the Galra... kind of heightened a lot of the problems I have," Keith confessed. "I can't help but wonder if she's always hated me, and the poison just gave her a reason to act on it..."

"I don't hate you." Pidge mumbled from her bed. "I don't hate you Keith." Her voice still kind of hurt, even after all the healing.

"Pidge!" Hunk yelled. He rushed over to her bed. "Pidge! Are you okay? Are you hungry?"

Pidge shook her head. "The answer to both of those questions is no," she mumbled.

Hunk frowned. "Can I help?" He looked at her.

She shook her head. "Where's Shiro?" She asked.

"He's in his room. We unlocked it like half a day go but he won't come out."

"Good," Pidge said.

Hunk looked at her. "Good? Why is that good? Is that good?"

"I don't trust him," Pidge muttered. "He scares me."

Hunk frowned. "Uh… okay… I'll... um… okay…" Well, Allura wasn't going to be happy to hear that.

"Hunk," Keith said. "Could you... leave us alone for a second?" Hunk nodded, and left.

Keith looked at Pidge for a long time, but she stayed facing away from him.

Shiro sat in his room, looking at the walls. He'd written all over them, and he was going over everything to try and figure out how to run Voltron differently so he never locked any of them up again.

"Pidge..." Keith said.

Pidge didn't move, but her voice reached him, hoarse and choked. "What?"

Hunk went over to check on Shiro but he just told him to leave. Well… asked him to leave. So that was new.

"I want to apologize," Keith said.

"For what? You didn't do anything." She curled tighter into a ball.

"I'm sorry about what Shiro did to you..."

"You really didn't do anything. It's Shiro's fault. All of it is."

"It's not," Keith said. "If I hadn't run away and gotten captured and brought that Galra poison back, none of this would have happened."

"Shiro made us separate to train. It was his idea. It's his fault."

"I know you're mad at him right now," Keith said. "He shouldn't have done what he did. Especially not the way he did it. But, Pidge... he saved you."

"No. He didn't. He got rid of me." She sniffed. "Leave me alone."

"Pidge... please…" She didn't say anything. "You don't want to talk? Don't talk. Just listen. You know Shiro loves you... he would never try to hurt you, Pidge. He'd never try to get rid of you."

She shook her head. "It's...it's easy for you to say. You're in love with him."

"Pidge... Shiro loves you. He does. You're so important to him... and yeah, I'm in love with him. But that doesn't blind me to his flaws. He messed up. Hell, he _really_ screwed up. And it's going to be hard for him to fix it."

"He can't fix it. I hate him." She took a shaky breath.

"Why didn't you want to go into the healing pod?"

"Because I don't like them." She mumbled, "Go away."

"Sorry, Pidge. I can't."

"Then just..." She sniffed, "Go... be with him."

"I'm not happy with him either," Keith said. "I don't like what he did to you."

"I didn't mean to poison you." She sniffed. "It was just going to be for me. But… I… just want him to hurt."

"You tried to poison yourself?"

"You asked people to kill you. I'm just better at it." She looked at him. "Are you going to take Shiro away? Is he going to pick you over all of us now?"

"Why would I do that? Why would I let him do that? Why would... why would you think he'd want to do that?"

"Because Shiro's selfish and mean."

Keith chuckled quietly. "Yeah, he can be..."

She held her knees to her chest and went back to quietly crying. "He'll forget about me. And everyone else. And just… lock us up when he feels like it."

"You know that's not true, Pidge. He was only doing what was best for you. He didn't do it the right way, but he did it to protect you."

She shook her head and just cried. "He'll come here when he wants you. But he'll ignore me."

"I don't think so." Keith said. "From what Hunk told me, he's pretty torn up about what he did to you." She shook her head again. "Voltron can't survive like this," he said, laying his head back on the pillows.

"Keith?"

"What is it, Pidge?" Keith asked, trying hard not to sound as miserable as he felt.

"Don't... let me lose him. I'm really mad and I want to hate him but he's kind of all I have."

"I won't," he said. "And I don't think he will either."

She nodded, then closed her eyes so she could cry by herself.

Keith stared at the ceiling, thinking, and just generally wallowing until Hunk returned.

"So… you guys hungry still? I can get Lance. He's good at cheering people up."

Pidge shook her head. "I think we're okay, Hunk. I'd like to get up and walk around for a bit though, if you'd let me..."

"Yeah!" He moved over and helped her sit up. "I'm coming with, right? In case you fall?"

"I feel fine. I appreciate it, but I kinda want to walk alone for a minute."

"Oh. Okay." He moved away so she could get up on her own.

Pidge was a little unsteady on her feet and she hobbled toward the door. Keith scrambled out of bed. "I think I should come with you," he said.

Hunk stood awkwardly as the two sick people walked together. "I can help..." He mumbled.

Keith felt great. His head was finally clear, he was fairly steady on his feet and he felt wide awake. He walked behind Pidge several steps, trying to give her plenty of space. He thought she'd head toward Shiro's room, but she was actually headed toward her Lion's hangar. He bit his lip, hoping she wasn't going to try to leave again. If she did, he wouldn't stop her. At least… not how Shiro had.

She entered the hangar, climbed up into her lion and headed to the cockpit. But the lion's mouth stayed open, and after a moment, Keith followed her.

"So...what's up, Pidge?" He looked at her. She sat down in the corner of the cockpit again, pulling her knees up to her chest. Keith sat nearby, unsure about what to do.

She took a deep breath and looked a little more relaxed. "Something about this lion... makes me feel a little better," she said.

"Because the lion chose you. I think."

"Maybe," she said. "I just feel... calm here."

"It is pretty calming. I'm usually angry in the red lion." He grinned. He really wanted Pidge and Shiro to talk to each other, but wasn't sure how he could get them in the same place.

"You're usually angry all the time," Pidge said, with the tiniest of smiles.

"Yeah. That's true." He gave her a tiny smile back.

"I really am sorry, Keith. I didn't mean to hurt you... the poison in the antidote... was supposed to affect me... and only me..."

"It's... it's okay. It's terrifying what you're capable of, Pidge. But really cool, too..."

"Small but threatening," Pidge muttered to herself. "Cool or not, it wasn't okay."

"I'm probably the one that infected you, Pidge. And I'm really sorry. That wasn't okay, either."

"That wasn't intentional, Keith... but... the poison was intentional..."

"I think maybe we should call it even. No more guilt, okay?" He moved over towards her. "Then we can just both be mad at Shiro for what he did to you."

She hugged her knees close. "I've never felt so scared before... not even when Matt disappeared..."

"Why were you scared, Pidge?"

"I've never been in the healing pods before," she said. "Alien technology... it's interesting, but... i don't know. I felt like he was treating me how the Galra treated Matt..."

"Probably not..." Keith looked at her. "I mean… I don't know. But from what I've gathered, I don't think Galra really use healing pods."

"I don't know. But him... ignoring me... and just throwing me in there and locking the door. It scared me..."

"Yeah. I understand. It's not easy. So… maybe go tell him that?"

"I tried!" She yelled suddenly. "I begged him not to do that to me. He didn't listen. He didn't care."

"I mean, go tell him now. But a little calmer. Maybe he'll apologize. He should but… maybe now he's had time to think about it."

She shook her head. "Maybe... but it shouldn't have been something to think about at all. I begged him, Keith."

"I begged him to kill me. I think I might have messed up his head a little from that. I'm sorry. He wasn't thinking. But… let's try and fix this? I mean, you guys are the best when you get along."

"I wish he'd just... let the poison do its job..."

"Nope. No, there's only room on this team for one moody depressed paladin and I claimed that." He went over and hugged her. "Go ahead and be sad, but you have to live. Your family needs you to look for them. To _save_ them. You have a big job on your shoulders and… well… you're really good at it."

"Thanks Keith... sorry again for almost killing you."

"Nah, it's fine. I was literally asking for it." He awkwardly leaned over and hugged her. "Let's go yell at Shiro."

Pidge hesitated. "I don't want to see him," she said

"So we lock the door and speak through it? Or just… contact him over comms?"

Pidge nodded. "I guess that could work," she said hesitantly.

Keith moved away. "I bet his comms are on. So… just… yeah."

Pidge pressed a button on the console of the green lion. "You can turn comms on from here," she said. "Press that button there.

"Pidge?" Shiro asked quietly when he heard a half second of her voice.

"Shiro," Keith replied upon seeing the color completely drain from Pidge's face.

"Oh. Keith… Is Pidge okay?"

"She's uh... well... she's awake..." Keith said.

The sound of air went through the comm as he heaved a sigh if relief. "Keith. I messed up. I was frustrated. She locked me up and I didn't listen to her. I just… I couldn't let Katie die. I couldn't, but I went around it wrong. And I… will you please tell her I'm sorry? I'll tell her myself when… well… she told me not to leave the room so I'm not going to until she says it's okay. She has a right and I ignored too much of it. But… let her know I've been trying to track down Matt and her dad. I haven't gotten anywhere, but it's all I did in here..."

"Shiro, you seem to be messing up a hell of a lot," Keith said. "You can't just... walk away from this."

"I'm not walking away from this. I'm… well I'm hiding right now but I'm trying to help. Something is wrong with me, Keith. And this is all I can do to help right now..."

Keith looked at Pidge. "Please talk to him," he said.

Pidge bit her lip. "You're really looking for Matt and my dad?"

Shiro flinched, not realizing Pidge had been listening. "Yes. I'm not a very good brother so I… uh… wanted to find your real family."

Pidge shook her head. "You're not my brother, Shiro."

"I know I'm not." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I threw you in the healing pod. I'm sorry for how I've been leading Voltron. I have some ideas. Some changes I want to make but I just… really wanted to apologize to you. I've isolated the members from each other too much. We need to stick together, train together, stay together. And I… I'm sorry for what I did to you Pidge. I hope one day you'll forgive me. It doesn't have to be now. I just… I'm sorry."

Pidge looked at Keith. "Don't make me talk to him right now," she said.

Keith nodded, and turned off the comms. Shiro closed his eyes. Then went over and locked the door from the inside. He'd been living in a near constant state of panic attacks from not leaving his room, but couldn't bring himself to get out after locking Pidge up.


	15. Wet Blanket

"I'm sorry," Pidge said. "I just can't do it

"I'm not going to make you do anything." Keith watched her.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm trying to calm down."

"It's okay to freak out sometimes."

"I don't want to forgive him," she said. "I... want him to hurt..." her voice got small. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No. Sounds like me with about everything Lance says." He got up and stretched. "But… if Shiro really was hurt, how would you feel?"

"What do you mean?"

"If Shiro was actually hurt, bleeding, and might die… how would you feel?"

"I..." Pidge looked guilty. "I don't know... I feel... like it's a really bad thing that my first instinct wasn't to say I'd be worried..."

"Well, you're angry. And it's hypothetical anyway. How 'bout this? You stay here and I'll go stab him." He got up.

Pidge scoffed. "You wouldn't stab Shiro."

"You got me on that." He sighed. "Pidge, I'm not sure how to help. I'd like to but I don't know if there's anything I can do to help you feel better. 'Cause I think you should be angry. I just don't think you should wish bad things on him..."

"I'm not wishing bad things on him," she snapped. "I'm just not sure how much I'd care, that's all."

"Okay." He awkwardly looked around. "Want to sneak out in our lions and go flying? Just us? Have some fun?"

Pidge gave him a small, crooked smile. "If Shiro found out, he'd freak," she said.

"So let him freak." He shrugged. "Let's go."

Pidge's smile widened and she stood and flung herself at Keith, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, unsure about what he'd said correctly.

She buried her face in his shirt for a moment. "Thank you, Keith... for not... hating me…"

Oh. He paused. Right, she'd poisoned him. "Did you… hurt me to get at Shiro?" He stopped. "Never mind. Doesn't matter. Let's just go fly and have some fun."

Pidge's heart sank a little at what he said, but she released him and nodded.

He grinned. "I'm not sure it's possible to hate you, Pidge. You're too awesome. And I'd be scared to be your enemy." He headed out of the green lion and went to go climb into Red. Once they left the castle, Keith led the way, flying fast, but not too fast. The green lion was able to keep up.

Pidge flew with him, focusing on the fact that Keith didn't hate her, that he was okay with going against what Shiro thought was best and just… relaxing… this really was more fun than she wanted to let on.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked over comms.

"I thought you were leading." Keith said back. "Who cares where we're going?" Pidge laughed and the sound was so nice to hear, Keith felt some of the tension in his shoulders relax.

After a couple more minutes Keith paused for a second. "Hey, Pidge, I wanna try something."

"Okay," she said. "What is it?"

"I want to see how fast I can go, with your lion attached to mine. Or like, holding onto it? A weird sort of piggy back ride? A lion back ride?" He snorted. "Oh great, now I sound like Lance."

Pidge looked at his lion, a little skeptical and a lot confused. "You are really weird, Keith... but okay."

"I just want to see if I'm still faster than Hunk or Shiro. Lance...we might tie with this handicap." He grinned, waiting for her to get into position. Pidge directed the green lion onto Red's back, where it latched on as best it could. "Keith... I'm not so sure about this," Pidge said, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

"Too late." He was careful to start, but then took off once the green lion didn't outright fly off of Red.

Pidge's stomach was left somewhere far behind as Red shot forward. She screamed but then started laughing. Keith almost stopped when she screamed, but then he laughed too. This was reckless, but fun. And he made sure to stay in clear space to fly around as fast as he could.

"Keith, your lion is so much faster than mine!" Pidge shouted.

"I've gathered as much." He laughed. "I didn't think I'd still be able to go that fast. Hard right!" He turned his lion.

"Keith!" Pidge yelped, laughing hard. Her whole lion lurched to the side with him.

Keith kept flying. He always warned her before doing something he thought might throw the green lion off, but it was nice to hear her laugh. Especially with how terrible both of them had been feeling. He was distracted enough he didn't even notice Shiro show up in the black lion until his comms popped on. It'd probably been several hours since they'd left.

"I...what...what are you guys doing?" He was more than confused. He hadn't planned on leaving his room, but had gotten really worried when they both left.

Keith jumped, jerking the controls so hard that this time, Pidge did go tumbling off of him. "Shiro!" he shouted. "Shit." Shiro moved over to catch Pidge, but Keith was still too fast for him and did it himself. "We're having fun."

Shiro raised an eyebrow. Keith...having fun?

"Leave us alone, Shiro," Pidge snapped, all the mirth gone from her voice, replaced by cold anger.

"Uh… right. I guess I'm not allowed to join you." He sighed. "Well, I'm glad you're safe."

"Yeah, I'm sure you really cared a lot," Pidge spat, clearly sarcastic.

"I'm sorry I worried about two people that told me they wanted to die running off together." Shiro clenched his fist. "I'm glad you're having fun. I'm glad you and Keith are feeling better. I was just hoping to run some drills with one of the other paladins calling the shots. But if you don't want to, okay."

"What does it matter to you?" Pidge asked. "It's not like you care what we want. I'm sure if either of us died you'd only be sad because that's one less person to boss around and rule over."

Keith hesitated. "Pidge, he just said he wanted to run drills with other people leading. I think he's trying to give us a chance to talk and him listen."

"It's too late for that," she said. She pulled hard on the Green Lion's controls and sped away as fast as she could.

Keith sighed, turning his lion and chasing after her. Shiro followed, but slowly. Hunk and Lance came in their lions as well. "So, no Voltron?" Hunk asked.

"Hunk..." Shiro closed his eyes. "Hunk, you call the shots for now."

"I get to be the head?!" Hunk shouted, so loud that Keith flinched, his ears ringing.

"Pretty sure only the black lion can be the head, but you can call the shots from the Yellow Lion."

"Oh... Shiro, I don't trust myself to do that. You're the leader."

"Alright. Lance, your turn."

Keith caught up to Pidge pretty quickly, since his lion was so freaking fast. "Pidge..."

Lance panicked. "Wait...wait...I have to lead? Uh…okay. Let's go after them…"

"Keith, I don't want to be near Shiro right now," Pidge told him. "But he's just going to keep following me forever. I can't outrun him."

Lance flew over. "Um, so Shiro said I'm leading Voltron now. And I think we should go back to the ship."

Shiro nearly slammed his head against his controls. _Good job, Lance_. But he didn't say anything.

"Leave us alone for a minute, Lance," Keith said. Then he turned his comms off to everyone but Pidge. "I understand that you want distance from Shiro, but... it's going to hurt the team..."

Lance backed up. "Shiro I don't think they'll listen."

Shiro sighed. "They won't. I pissed Pidge off too much. I think we should leave them alone, but I'll go off your call."

"What team?" Pidge asked. "There is no team anymore. I can't trust Shiro, you can't trust me... that's not a team."

"Pidge, if I didn't trust you I wouldn't let you grab onto my lion. Yeah it sucks that you almost hurt me, but you didn't. I'm fine. I actually feel pretty good. But… Shiro is trying his best. Better than I ever could. And look, he's backing off. He's trying something new. No way he'd have let Lance try to lead for half a second before all this happened."

"And you think letting _Lance_ lead is a good move?" Pidge asked. "If anything, there's more reason than ever for there to not be a team. You can go back to him if you want, but I'm not going. Not until I can trust him."

"Pidge where is there to go? There aren't a lot of safe spaces to go as a paladin."

"I don't know. But I'm not going back. Not with him!"

"How will leaving let you trust him again?"

"I don't know. But being around him is only going to make it worse. With him constantly jumping down everyone's throat... and I'm afraid he might..."

"He won't lock you up again. I won't let him." Keith sighed. "I'm all for leaving if it'll help but how about you come back and get supplies and stuff first and say goodbye to everyone that isn't Shiro?"

"I can't. If I go back, they won't let me leave. Just... come with me, Keith."

"Pidge... I can't..."

"I forgot... Shiro comes first." She sighed. "Fine. But I'm done. I quit."

Keith set his jaw. "Pidge, I won't let you run until you tell everyone why you're leaving."

"You can't stop me. I can't go back. Not yet."

"I can stop you. I'm faster."

"You can chase me," she said. "But you can't force me to go back."

"I'm bigger, faster, and stronger. I can drag you by your tail. I won't, but I can."

"You won't," she said. "That's the important part. See you later, Keith."

"Pidge!" Keith yelled at her. "Pidge, don't do this! Don't...you'r more selfish than I am!" He tried, but knew she wouldn't come back. "DAMN IT!"

Pidge flew, tears blurring her vision. She had no idea where she'd go, but she felt better the more distance she put between herself and Shiro.

Keith flew back to the ship and docked Red, heading into the main deck of the ship so he could get onto all of the comms a little easer. "Pidge is gone. She took the lion, left Voltron. Just… give her time. No one go after her. Especially you, Shiro. Just… let her be unless she gets into trouble or comes back. Anyone goes after her and you'll have to look for me, too."

"Keith, why would you let her leave?" Lance asked.

"Because no one should be forced to be a part of Voltron. And if the green lion was willing to leave with her… then we just have trust that she'll come back."

Shiro flew his lion back to the castle and marched purposefully into the room. He stormed up to Keith and punched him, sending him to the floor, more out of surprise than anything else. Keith looked at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you finally leading now? I thought it was my turn after Lance." Keith got up. "Order still applies to you, Shiro. You want Katie back, then you let her figure out she wants to come back." He shook off the punch and walked out of the room.

Shiro stood there, in shock and unsure how to respond to that.

Keith stalked back to his room, trying hard not to let tears blur his vision. He had half a mind to run off after Pidge.

Shiro stood at the command post, then looked at Allura. "Until Pidge comes back there is no Voltron. With no Voltron, I will not lead. And if she wants me gone when she gets back… find a new Black Paladin."

"Shiro, You being irrational and acting without thinking is the reason she left in the first place!"

"THEN FIGURE OUT WHATS BEST YOURSELF! HUMANS DIDN'T START THIS WAR ALLURA! And I'll be damned if I force Pidge back. I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of fighting a war I shouldn't have to be a part of and I'm tired of trying to to help when I can't even talk to someone without them running off. I'm tired of making mistakes. I'm tired. I'm irrational, and I'm too damn young to deal with this kind of pressure. I lost Pidge's family. I lost Pidge. I lost Keith three fucking times. I'm a shit leader. I'm a shit pilot, and I'm just… I'm shit. I'm tired of this war being on my shoulders! So just fuck off, Allura."

Then he dropped to the floor after Coran knocked him out. "What language..."

"I wonder if being in his room so long... made him go a little crazy," Allura said.

"A little?" Coran looked him over, his mustache frowning in disapproval. "Maybe we should look for a new Black Paladin..."

"No, I don't think so. Shiro is good at this... just... not lately... I wonder if we should put him in a healing pod. Help him relax…"

"Princess...maybe we should run another blood test on him? I know the results were negative but he's been acting so far from normal."

"That's a good idea, Coran. It may just be that it took more time for the poison to affect him. You're right. He's not himself." Coran got Lance and Hunk help him lift Shiro and get him back to the hospital so they could run the tests.


	16. Poison

The Galra stealth ship was transmitting a coded message. It was doing it's best to stay hidden behind the planet Keith and Shiro had been on. Pidge had no trouble intercepting the message, but it would be a bit difficult to work out the code. She stayed close, but out of sight, and began to work.

As she worked out the code and the message translated, the Galra were speaking about having done something that the Red and Black Paladins wouldn't remember. And that it appeared to be working since the castle hadn't been moving for the last few days. Then the message started to repeat, they'd snuck onto the planet Keith and Shiro were on and attacked. They'd poisoned both of them, but with different poisons, and instead of taking them, they injected them with another drug that would wipe enough of their memory that they wouldn't remember the attack. Voltron would destroy itself with the poison. Keith's could spread, Shiro's was delayed and slow acting, so harder to pinpoint as a poison instead of him just going crazy.

Pidge was horrified... she had to get back and tell them. Shiro... he was poisoned too. He had no control over what he'd done to her. With this new information, she started back toward the castle, tears blurring her vision.

Coran managed to isolate part of the poison so he could create enough of an antidote that Shiro could fight the rest of it off. Though he'd have to remain asleep for a few days. Coran decided not to risk the healing pod unless Allura told him to.

Keith was standing at the castle controls when Pidge's voice, interspersed with static, filled the room. "Is there anyone there?"

"Pidge! Are you ok?"

"Keith!" Pidge couldn't help but taste relief. It wasn't Shiro. "Keith, where is shiro?"

"He's not well, Pidge." Keith clinched his fists, frustrated that he hadn't noticed. "He's in the hospital."

"I just intercepted a Galra ship! I'm still way too far away from you, but this couldn't wait. Shiro was poisoned!"

"Do you know with what? We're not able to clear it out as easily as what we had."

Pidge bit her lip. "The Galra attacked both of you while you were off training. I don't know what the poison is, but it's different from yours."

"The Galra… attacked? No they didn't? We were alone the entire time."

"They wiped your memories, Keith. Think. Try to remember! Did anything weird happen?"

"I… well I disappeared for a few hours..."

Pidge was silent, expectant. Keith closed his eyes tight and focused. He'd try to remember. Really try... and there it was, the memory so sudden it was almost as if it were happening at that moment. Keith was asleep next to Shiro when a sound outside their tent woke him. He rolled over, trying to keep from waking Shiro up, and poked his head outside, his knife in his hand. Standing just outside, in the glow of the shields of the red and black lions, was a Galra soldier.

Pidge stayed silent, rushing towards the castle, even though she was still really far away.

Keith shouted in surprise and tried to retreat back into the tent, but the Galra was faster than him and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him outside. Keith's yell woke Shiro, but another Galra pushed his way into the tent before Shiro could do anything. Keith struggled against the Galra holding him, broke free and ran. He had to try to get the Galra away from Shiro. It worked. Both of the soldiers ran after him, and Keith could only assume that Shiro would follow. But Shiro had been knocked unconscious again by the Galra. There were more Galra chasing after Keith, and a couple went in and drugged Shiro, then left to help chase Keith down.

Keith ran well into the night, trying to elude the Galra, but no matter what he did, it didn't take long for them to find him. Finally, after hours of running and hiding, Keith collapsed, unable to keep going. The last thing he saw was the Galra soldier looming over him. Then Shiro was shaking him awake...

"Keith?" Pidge asked after several minutes.

He snapped back to reality. "I remember," he said. "I remember the attack! I..." he felt sick. "I left Shiro. I tried to save myself I didn't even... spare a thought for Shiro..."

"I'm okay with that." Pidge grumbled. "But… maybe..." She should probably give him a chance since it was poison. Not that she wanted to.

"Pidge, Shiro didn't mean to hurt you," Keith said, swallowing down the guilt. "When you get back... I'll show you his room... the poison made him crazy..."

"I'm coming back. But… poison or not I don't know how I feel."

"The poison made him want us to hate him. He wanted us to mistrust him. He had... plans written up... all over the walls of his room. Between the two of us... I guess the purpose was to kill off what parts of Voltron we could, and destroy the bonds between the rest..."

Pidge teared up. "Pretty effective poison."

"I know," Keith said. "Please just... come back safely. I'm going to go tell Allura what you told me. Thank you, Katie."

"Yeah... see you in a while."

"Be safe," he said. Then he dashed out of the room.

Coran was giving Shiro the best antidote he could make, it wasn't perfect, but he was sure it would help.

Keith burst into the room. "CORAN!"

"Yes?" He glanced at him.

"Pidge is coming back. Pidge found something!"

"Oh thank the SOMETHING IN ALTEAN." He smiled. "What did she find?"

"Shiro and I were attack by the Galra while we were training."

"And you didn't tell us?"

"I didn't remember. They wiped our memories!"

"Oh. Well that would be why you didn't tell us." He kept working on Shiro. "The poison he's under is wreaking havoc on his brain. It's firing so oddly. This antidote should let him fight it."

"How long?" Keith asked.

"I'm not sure yet, Keith. He's had it in his system… possibly longer than you have."

Keith sighed hopelessly. "I'm worried the Galra are planning to attack us soon, while we're all messed up.

"Shiro will be out of commission for a while, Keith. But… with Pidge back, we might be okay… depending."

"I just hope nothing happens to her before she gets back..."

"We just have to trust her ability to stay out of danger."

Keith sat down on one of the empty beds. "This sucks," he said.

"A bit. It's a terrifying position to be in."


	17. What Really Happened

The Galra stealth ship was transmitting a coded message. It was doing it's best to stay hidden behind the planet Keith and Shiro had been on. Pidge had no trouble intercepting the message, but it would be a bit difficult to work out the code. She stayed close, but out of sight, and began to work.

As she worked out the code and the message translated, the Galra were speaking about having done something that the Red and Black Paladins wouldn't remember. And that it appeared to be working since the castle hadn't been moving for the last few days. Then the message started to repeat, they'd snuck onto the planet Keith and Shiro were on and attacked. They'd poisoned both of them, but with different poisons, and instead of taking them, they injected them with another drug that would wipe enough of their memory that they wouldn't remember the attack. Voltron would destroy itself with the poison. Keith's could spread, Shiro's was delayed and slow acting, so harder to pinpoint as a poison instead of him just going crazy.

Pidge was horrified... she had to get back and tell them. Shiro... he was poisoned too. He had no control over what he'd done to her. With this new information, she started back toward the castle, tears blurring her vision.

Coran managed to isolate part of the poison so he could create enough of an antidote that Shiro could fight the rest of it off. Though he'd have to remain asleep for a few days. Coran decided not to risk the healing pod unless Allura told him to.

Keith was standing at the castle controls when Pidge's voice, interspersed with static, filled the room. "Is there anyone there?"

"Pidge! Are you ok?"

"Keith!" Pidge couldn't help but taste relief. It wasn't Shiro. "Keith, where is shiro?"

"He's not well, Pidge." Keith clinched his fists, frustrated that he hadn't noticed. "He's in the hospital."

"I just intercepted a Galra ship! I'm still way too far away from you, but this couldn't wait. Shiro was poisoned!"

"Do you know with what? We're not able to clear it out as easily as what we had."

Pidge bit her lip. "The Galra attacked both of you while you were off training. I don't know what the poison is, but it's different from yours."

"The Galra… attacked? No they didn't? We were alone the entire time."

"They wiped your memories, Keith. Think. Try to remember! Did anything weird happen?"

"I… well I disappeared for a few hours..."

Pidge was silent, expectant. Keith closed his eyes tight and focused. He'd try to remember. Really try... and there it was, the memory so sudden it was almost as if it were happening at that moment. Keith was asleep next to Shiro when a sound outside their tent woke him. He rolled over, trying to keep from waking Shiro up, and poked his head outside, his knife in his hand. Standing just outside, in the glow of the shields of the red and black lions, was a Galra soldier.

Pidge stayed silent, rushing towards the castle, even though she was still really far away.

Keith shouted in surprise and tried to retreat back into the tent, but the Galra was faster than him and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him outside. Keith's yell woke Shiro, but another Galra pushed his way into the tent before Shiro could do anything. Keith struggled against the Galra holding him, broke free and ran. He had to try to get the Galra away from Shiro. It worked. Both of the soldiers ran after him, and Keith could only assume that Shiro would follow. But Shiro had been knocked unconscious again by the Galra. There were more Galra chasing after Keith, and a couple went in and drugged Shiro, then left to help chase Keith down.

Keith ran well into the night, trying to elude the Galra, but no matter what he did, it didn't take long for them to find him. Finally, after hours of running and hiding, Keith collapsed, unable to keep going. The last thing he saw was the Galra soldier looming over him. Then Shiro was shaking him awake...

"Keith?" Pidge asked after several minutes.

He snapped back to reality. "I remember," he said. "I remember the attack! I..." he felt sick. "I left Shiro. I tried to save myself I didn't even... spare a thought for Shiro..."

"I'm okay with that." Pidge grumbled. "But… maybe..." She should probably give him a chance since it was poison. Not that she wanted to.

"Pidge, Shiro didn't mean to hurt you," Keith said, swallowing down the guilt. "When you get back... I'll show you his room... the poison made him crazy..."

"I'm coming back. But… poison or not I don't know how I feel."

"The poison made him want us to hate him. He wanted us to mistrust him. He had... plans written up... all over the walls of his room. Between the two of us... I guess the purpose was to kill off what parts of Voltron we could, and destroy the bonds between the rest..."

Pidge teared up. "Pretty effective poison."

"I know," Keith said. "Please just... come back safely. I'm going to go tell Allura what you told me. Thank you, Katie."

"Yeah... see you in a while."

"Be safe," he said. Then he dashed out of the room.

Coran was giving Shiro the best antidote he could make, it wasn't perfect, but he was sure it would help.

Keith burst into the room. "CORAN!"

"Yes?" He glanced at him.

"Pidge is coming back. Pidge found something!"

"Oh thank the SOMETHING IN ALTEAN." He smiled. "What did she find?"

"Shiro and I were attack by the Galra while we were training."

"And you didn't tell us?"

"I didn't remember. They wiped our memories!"

"Oh. Well that would be why you didn't tell us." He kept working on Shiro. "The poison he's under is wreaking havoc on his brain. It's firing so oddly. This antidote should let him fight it."

"How long?" Keith asked.

"I'm not sure yet, Keith. He's had it in his system… possibly longer than you have."

Keith sighed hopelessly. "I'm worried the Galra are planning to attack us soon, while we're all messed up.

"Shiro will be out of commission for a while, Keith. But… with Pidge back, we might be okay… depending."

"I just hope nothing happens to her before she gets back..."

"We just have to trust her ability to stay out of danger."

Keith sat down on one of the empty beds. "This sucks," he said.

"A bit. It's a terrifying position to be in."


	18. Pirates

For Pidge, it had been smooth flying so far. She tried to contact the castle again. "Anyone there?!"

Hunk turned on his comms. "Pidge?! Pidge come back! Something is really wrong and we need you!"

"I'm working on it, Hunk! Give me an update! What's going on with Shiro?"

"Well, Coran gave him a half antidote. I guess just some medicine so Shiro could fight the poison. He um… well I don't like looking at his dreams. You look a lot like your brother..."

Pidge was stunned for a moment. "You... my brother...?"

"He dreams about what happened to him. And uh… well… I mean he protected your brother a lot. But it's hard to watch."

"God, you're making it a little hard for me to keep hating him," Pidge said.

"Uh… sorry? I mean… they think he'll be asleep a while, if you want to see it. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Hunk. I'm hurrying back as best as I can."

"Okay. I missed you a lot. I'll make something good to eat when you get back!"

"Thanks, Hunk. Can you get Keith for me? I need-" Her voice abruptly cut out.

"Pidge?" He asked for her a few more times, then yelled for Keith.

Keith came running into the room. "What are you yelling for?" he asked, fighting for breath.

"Pidge asked for you, but then she cut off!"

"Pidge?" Keith shouted. When met with silence, he started to panic. "Pidge!" Hunk ran to fetch Allura, since she was better at tracking people than he was.

Keith stood alone in the control room, waiting. "Pidge... come on... what's going on, what happened? ...Katie..."

Allura kept working. "I've found traces of where she's been. I'm heading there now."

"Be careful, Allura. We don't know what happened to her."

"I am being careful, but we need to know what happened.

"I know that. Just... I don't want to run us right into a trap. We don't have Shiro..."

"And we don't have Pidge. I'm currently fixing one of them, and Coran is fixing the other. We'll make it work."

Keith tapped his fingers on the panel, nervously. "She has to be okay."

Allura nodded. "I know. Shiro won't forgive himself for chasing her off while he was ill..."

"I'm the one that let her go," Keith said. "If anything happens to her, it's on me."

"I know we've spent the last few days playing the blame game. But lets just get Pidge back and figure everything out when everyone is safe."

He nodded. "You're right. Any info on where she might be?"

"Not yet. She was still quite far when the signal went dead."

Keith bit his lip. "Okay. I'm gonna go check on Shiro."

She nodded. "Alright, be careful."

"I will. Thank you."

"Good luck, Keith."

Keith nodded and walked out of the room, heading toward the hospital.

Coran was watching the screen of Shiro's dreams. Trying to see if he could learn anything about Galra tech.

Keith sat down next to him. "Anything new?" He asked.

"Not really. I have to keep him sedated or he might still freak out. His body is responding reasonably well to the medication, though."

"How long till he wakes up?" Keith asked.

"Well, I could stop the medication that's keeping him asleep, and maybe an hour. But I don't know how long it will take him to effectively fight off the poison." Keith looked at Shiro for moment, then tore his eyes away. He didn't like to see him that way.

"What is it Keith?" Coran looked at him. "Are you still...infected?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't think so," he said. "I'm just... worried. And tired."

"There isn't a lot any of us can do right now. Why not get some rest?"

Keith nodded. Maybe it would be smart to get some rest, in case he was needed to retrieve Pidge.

Shiro flinched in his sleep then jerked awake despite the fact that he was heavily drugged. "Kill..."

Keith staggered back so fast he bumped into a cart of tools and sent it crashing to the ground.

Coran leapt over to Shiro. "Keith! Help me tie him down! There's no telling what he's thinking right now!"

Shiro sat up, looking around while his eyes came into focus. "Kill."

Keith held Shiro's arms down so that Coran could tie them, down, then started strapping him tightly to the bed. Keith's heart was in his throat. He didn't want to do this to Shiro.

Shiro desperately started fighting against them. "No! Stop! Fight me! Kill!" Keith and Coran did not stop until they were sure he couldn't escape. Then Keith took a step back.

"Shiro?"

"I'll kill you!" He screamed. "I'll kill all of you! One by one! I'll kill you for what you did to Matt and his dad!"

"Coran, what's happening?" Keith asked, frightened.

"I think he thinks we're the Galra! I'll get some more medication to knock him out."

Keith staggered backward. "Shiro! Takashi! Please, it's me. It's Keith!"

Shiro fought against the restraints. "Give them back! Give them to me or die!"

Coran popped up behind Shiro with a syringe and plunged it into his neck without warning. It took Shiro about two seconds to go limp. Coran hurried to check the monitors. They showed Shiro fighting the Galra to protect Pidge's family.

Keith collapsed onto the floor, unable to hold himself up. He sat there, staring at his shoes for a long time. "He's crazy," he said finally.

"I think this might be why he doesn't sleep much..." Coran went back to work.

Keith leaned his head against the bed behind him and closed his eyes. "How is Voltron supposed to function like this?" he asked.

"I don't know." Coran spoke seriously. "All of you are exhausted, we can't hear anything from Pidge, and Shiro is… I've never seen someone this scared while asleep.

"He's not scared, Coran. He's crazy."

"Drugged, I suppose."

Keith pulled himself up off the floor. "I'm going to go... see if Allura has found Pidge…" Coran nodded, continuing to work.

Keith made his way back to the bridge. "Please tell me you have good news," he said upon arriving.

"I can't see any Galra ships in her area, I'm hoping a planet disrupted the signal.

He exhaled loudly and sank into a chain. "Thank god."

Allura kept working to try and get Pidge's signal back. "She got rather far, considering her lion's speed.

"She was really booking, wasn't she?"

Allura nodded. "I guess...she really did need some space.

Keith laughed inadvertently. "That was an almost Lance-level joke, Princess."

She paused, not getting it. "Oh..." She blushed. "Oh no… I didn't mean that!"

Keith chuckled, feeling a little more relaxed. At least there were no Galra around where Pidge disappeared.

Allura quickly got the ship to where her signal disappeared. But there was nothing there. She frowned, starting to run more scans.

Keith's brief moment of calm disappeared. "Where is she?"

"I'm looking." She bit her lip, nervous.

Keith turned on comms. Maybe now that they were closer, they'd be able to communicate. "Pidge?"

Pidge didn't answer.

Allura frowned and ran more scans. "Oh… not Galra but… I think I found something."

Keith's heart stopped for a split second. "What?" He asked, standing. "What is it?"

"Just one moment." She started looking through everything. "Oh… oh we need to help her."

"Allura? What does that mean? What's going on?!"

"Pirates." She turned the ship, rushing off and following the trail. "We have to get her back, now."

"Pirates?" Keith asked. "You mean she was kidnapped by space pirates?!"

"Yes, and we have to get her back. They'll sell to the highest bidder and we have to get her back before Galra catches wind of the green lion being up for sale!"

" _Sell he_ r?!" he asked, growing more horrified by the second.

"We'll get her back. I just have to find where they went."

He took a deep breath. "God, she must be so scared…"

"I'll beat them all myself if I have to. We'll get her back."

"I shouldn't have let her leave..." Keith said. "Damn it!"

"This isn't your fault. It's no ones fault but those pirates."

"No, this is the Galra's fault!" Keith snapped. "We need Shiro. I can't... I don't know how to do this. Clearly I don't know how to do this!" He slammed his fist against the table. "I'm not a leader!"

"Keith, it's okay. Take a second. I'll find her. Then we can beat those pirates into oblivion."

Keith nodded and exited the room. He passed Lance on his way to the hospital and explained the situation. Lance ran to tell Hunk and both of them went to see Allura.

Shiro was fighting to wake up again, much to Coran's frustration. "Shiro, you need to sleep."

"I need to-" Shiro winced. "Kill the Galra... I need..."

Coran couldn't give him more medication to sleep for fear of hurting him. "Shiro, relax. Heal first. Then we can go after the Galra."

"Where is Pidge?" Shiro asked, his eyes wild.

"She's... out. At the moment."

"Coran... I tried to... _gah_!" Shiro jerked against the restraints again.

"Stop! You have to heal first!"

"What happened to Pidge?" Shiro asked. "I... I remember I..."

"She left, Shiro. Just… relax."

"I hurt her, didn't I?" Shiro asked, suddenly tired.

"You locked her in a healing pod."

All of Shiro's energy drained out of him. "I remember..."

"Shiro, you're fighting poison. You're not yourself. Relax."

Keith came running into the room. "Allura found her!" he shouted before seeing that Shiro was awake. He stopped dead in his tracks. "…Shiro…"

"Keith...? Did I do something to you, too?"

He looked from Coran to Shiro. "No. I'm fine, Shiro..."

"Tell me. What did I do? Did I hurt anyone else?"

"You didn't..." Keith looked at Coran helplessly. "Coran, we need you for a second."

Coran moved over to him. "What is it?"

"It's Pidge," Keith said. "She's been kidnapped." AT this, Allura came into the room.

"She what?" Coran looked at them. Shiro started fighting the constraints. "I have to help!" He yelled, still drugged out of his mind, but the poison was wearing off. "Let me go!"

Keith groaned. "I didn't want Shiro to know," he said.

Shiro looked helplessly at Keith. "I'll kill whoever took her!"

"Princess, he's yelling an awful lot. I don't suppose we could just..." Coran covered Shiro's mouth with his hand.

Allura bit her lip, thinking. "He's fought through a lot of medication to yell. We should… probably put him in a healing pod..."

Shiro yelled against Coran's hand, shaking his head furiously. "No, I don't think we should do that," Keith said, though he wasn't sure.

Shiro stopped yelling and fighting when he realized he wasn't going to get anywhere. Instead, he just glared at Coran since he couldn't speak.

"Just for a few hours," Allura amended.

Shiro turned his glare to Allura. He wanted to help. He needed to help.

Keith looked at Shiro for a long time, then nodded. "Fine. A few hours in the healing pod."

Shiro looked at him, pained that he'd make that decision. Still… he… probably deserved it, Considering he'd done the same to Pidge.

"Shiro," Keith said. "You're not going to be able to help her this way. You need more time to heal. Please just... try to understand."

Coran moved his hand away and Shiro looked at Keith. "Let me out when you find her. I have to help get her back."

"You know I will," he said. "We'll need your help."

Shiro nodded. "Alright. Just… don't lie..."

Keith was hurt. "You think I'm lying to get you into a pod?"

"No… I just… I need to help and… it's okay, Keith. I know it's for the best."

Keith approached Shiro, warily, though he knew he couldn't do anything tied down to the bed like he was. Without a thought for Coran or Allura, Keith bent over and kissed Shiro's mouth. Shiro leaned into the kiss as best he could while Coran looked at Allura, a little more than surprised at what he was watching.

Keith pulled away, unsmiling. "Don't make me regret this," he said. He turned to Coran and Allura. "Healing pod." Allura nodded, helping Keith move Shiro. He didn't fight back while being moved, so that was something.

Keith tried to give him a reassuring smile as the door closed, but his heart wasn't in it and it was clear on his face. Shiro reached for him, wanting to kiss him again but couldn't before the pod closed.

Keith took a deep breath as Coran activated the pod, then turned. "Lets find Pidge," he said.


	19. Found

Allura started running more scans to try and find Pidge while Keith went back to tapping his fingers nervously.

Coran brought Keith some food. "Keep your strength up, we'll be awake a while longer."

Keith nodded. "Thanks Coran. I owe you one."

Coran nodded. "You owe me around three by now." He smiled, then left to work on Shiro.

Keith gave Coran a small smile and picked at the food. But he was nervous and his appetite was... less than robust...

Hunk came in to check on Keith and see where they were about finding Pidge. He was really worried about all of them. "Uh… hey Keith. How are you?"

Keith put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. "I'm... worried, Hunk."

"Me too." He sat next to him, munching on a cookie, or a cracker, or… whatever it was he'd made. "Shiro is out of commission and Pidge is missing and… we gotta get everyone back. We really need Pidge..."

Keith nodded. "We'll get her back," he said, determined. They'd get her back. Even if they had to go to the ends of the universe. They weren't going to lose Pidge.

Hunk nodded. "Maybe we should get her back before Shiro wakes up. I'm… actually worried about how he'll help… he's really protective…"

"I promised him," Keith said. "I told him we'd let him out when we found her. I promised."

"Well...I hope he's better when you wake him up. It's weird being told to lead Voltron. I don't like it."

"I agree," Keith said with a faint smile. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Did Allura tell you what happened?"

"Just lots of poisons and drugs. But I'm mostly worried about Pidge."

Keith bit his lip. He was clenching his fist so hard he could only imagine how white his knuckles were. He put his thumb over his fist, trying to calm down. "I know. I am too. But Pidge... well... she's smart. And stronger and braver than I think we give her credit for."

"Well yeah. But… it's Pidge. Sometimes she over thinks stuff and… well… I just really miss her."

Keith put his hand on Hunk's arm. "Everything will be fine," he said, though he couldn't tell if he was reassuring Hunk or himself. "She'll be okay."

"Yeah." He looked up. "She will be." He smiled. "Thanks, Keith."

"No problem," Keith said, a little surprised. "Suit up, Hunk, it's gonna be a rough ride."

"Right. I'll be in my lion and ready to go!" He jumped up to go get ready.

He passed Allura on his way out and said hello. Allura approached Keith.

Keith looked at her, then kept walking. "Did you find Pidge yet?"

Allura nodded. "That's why I came to get you. We found her."

He stopped and turned. "What about Shiro? We have to wake him up so he can help."

"I know," Allura said. "But it's going to be a few hours before we're close enough to get her."

"Alright, well where is she and do you have a plan?"

"I do not have a plan," Allura said. "I was hoping you would help me with that."

"Hurry and tell me the plan, Allura. We need to start working on waking Shiro up."

"Keith, slow down. Shiro needs time in that healing pod. We need to leave him in there as long as we can." Allura cut off his protest. "I know you promised him, but it's going to take us a few hours to catch up to Pidge. I'd wormhole over, but I think it'd be smarter if we try to catch the pirates by surprise. A big castle suddenly appearing out of a glowing purple hole… might raise the alarm."

"I'm not breaking my promise to Shiro, Allura. I can't do that. It's my fault he's like this."

Allura closed her eyes and took a second to chill. Otherwise she might end up slapping Keith. "I know," she said at last. "I'm not asking you to break your promise. I'm just asking you to let him heal a bit longer."

Keith folded his arms. "One… one hour. That's all."

Allura nodded. "That should be enough time. I've already set the ship toward her location." She put her hand on Keith's shoulder. "Everything will be okay."

"It better be. We can't lose Pidge over my stupid mistake." He hurried off to get ready.

An hour later, Keith was standing impatiently in front of the healing pod in which Shiro was. Allura and Coran were working to let him out. He needed more rest, but at this point, Shiro could decide for himself, even if Allura knew he'd decide to help get Pidge back.

The pod opened and Keith helped Shiro out. "Shiro. We found her."

Shiro was barely awake. "Found? Her?" He leaned against Keith. "What are you talking about?"

"We found Katie," Keith said, a little concerned.

"Where is she? Is she coming back?" Shiro pushed himself to try and stand up again.

Keith supported him as best he could. "Shiro, how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. I'm fine. What's wrong, Keith? Where's Katie?"

"She..." Keith shared a glance with Allura. "She got kidnapped... by pirates... remember?"

"She what?" He moved towards the door. "Right… I… we gotta go get her. I'll head to the Black Lion."

"Hold on a second, Shiro!" Keith snapped suddenly.

He stopped. "What is it?"

"Just... you can't just go running off to your lion! You can hardly walk!"

"We need all four of us there so we can create Voltron when we get Pidge back." Shiro looked at him. "Is something wrong?"

"Shiro... we need to do this stealthily. If we don't... they might hurt her, or something. I don't know."

Shiro kind of wanted to argue who the leader of Voltron was, but Keith was right, and Shiro had no idea if he was thinking clearly or not yet. He stopped, and nodded. "Right, what's your plan Keith?"

Keith faltered. "I don't know," he said. "I don't even know what we're facing here..."

Allura looked at them. "We're going to go in as three separate groups. Two groups will pretend to be interested in buying the lion and or Pidge. The other group will sneak in and break them out."

"However," Coran chimes in. "It's possible that they're taking them to a space market. In which case it might be easier to get them back."

Allura nodded. "We'll follow them and track their plans. And beat all of them into a pulp for taking Pidge."

Shiro almost laughed. "Right… I think we can do that."

Keith tried not to look concerned about that. The last thing they needed was Shiro going crazy. "Sure," he finally said. "I'm going to get ready."

"I'll come with you." Shiro started walking with him. "How long has Pidge been gone?"

Keith bit his lip. How long _had_ she been gone? "I don't know," he confessed. "A day or two... maybe more?"

"And… you kissed me. In front of Allura and Coran. Why?" Shiro was starting to get his memories back into place.

"Why not?" Keith asked, not looking over to him. "It's not like it's a secret, Takashi. Not anymore."

"Just wondering. I thought you were a bit more private is all." He rubbed his neck. "I think the stuff in the healing pod is still telling me to sleep."

"Pidge wondered why we kept it a secret," Keith said. "As for being tired... you don't really have that option. You're the one who wanted out so badly."

"Keith, I'm worried. And I need to apologize to Pidge. There's a lot to do and a lot to plan. What are your plans?"

Keith whirled on Shiro, suddenly very angry. "I don't know!" He snarled. "I don't have a plan!"

"...What happened while I was asleep, Keith? Why are you still this angry with me?"

Keith shook his head. "I'm sorry, Shiro, it's not you. I'm just..." he clenched his fist. "I'm really worried."

"So am I. That's why I want a plan." He put his arm around him. "If it wouldn't risk Pidge I'd just go in and beat the shit out of all of them."

Keith didn't relax. "If something happens to her..."

"I know." He pulled Keith in to a hug. "We have to stay positive right now."

Keith pressed his face into Shiro's shoulder and closed his eyes. "I know," he murmured.

"I'm right here. Just… don't give up hope just yet."

"I haven't," Keith said. "But I'm so worried that we'll get there too late. I mean… as far as we know these Pirates are going to _sell_ her."

"You know we won't let that happen but…" He thought for a moment. Shiro was going to beat the pirates into a pulp no matter what, but he was trying really, really hard to be optimistic. "But if they plan on that, they can't hurt her until they sell her..."

"It's not a worry about us letting it happen… what if we don't get there in time?"

"Allura wouldn't let that happen. If we have to worm hole in, we will." He pulled Keith into his room. "I say stuff to you because I'm okay being weak around you, but this time both of us have to be strong, Keith. For Pidge." He rested his forehead on Keith's.

Keith didn't hesitate. He grabbed the back of Shiro's head and pulled him forward, kissing him again. Then he pushed away, releasing the front of Shiro's shirt, which he hadn't even known he had grabbed. "Let suit up," he said.

Shiro smiled just a little. "Right. I'll take the lead in distracting them by trying to buy her. You take the lead in getting her out, alright?" He leaned in and kissed him again, then headed to his room to change.

Two hours later, Allura called them all into the bridge. "We've got an exact location on Pidge," she announced. "And Coran was right. They've headed to a marketplace."


	20. Home

p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro held his helmet to his side. "Then we should easily be able to distract them there and get her back. Once Pidge is back on this ship...we can do whatever."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We can do this," Lance said, catching sight of the dejected look on Keith's face. "We're gonna get Pidge back and we're gonna kick some pirate booty." And then he started laughing hysterically./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro rolled his eyes. "Keith, you take Hunk and sneak in to try and break Pidge and her Lion out. Lance, you come with me, and we'll see about buying her. Allura, you and Coran go in about buying the Green Lion. If we attempt it separately, I think they'll be more distracted and less likely to get suspicious."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Good plan," Allura said. "Let's get going. The longer we wait, the more opportunity for disaster there is."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro nodded, heading out with Lance. "Next time you joke it will hopefully be to make Pidge laugh."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith sat behind the controls of his lion, his hands gripping them so tight his knuckles were white. "How much longer?" he asked over comms./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Allura stood at the controls. "40 ticks. Shiro, Lance, you two go ahead and take a pod in so you'll beat us there. May was well not show up at the same time..."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You got it, Princess," Lance replied. Keith bit his lip. He hoped they were on time. If not... he shook his head. "Don't think like that, Keith," he muttered to himself./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro took Lance to a small pod. They couldn't fly in their lions, even though he wanted to. "If we get into the same room as Pidge, we act. We're getting her out as soon as possible."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I know," Lance said, seriousness taking the place of his lighthearted joking. Just like everyone else on the team, Lance cared immensely for Pidge./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "If we get in the same room as the lion, stay calm. Pidge first. Just… I know you know. But I'd rather have to chase the lion instead ofspan class="Apple-converted-space" /span."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I gotcha," Lance said. "Don't worry Shiro. Even if we end up… not getting there in time... Pidge isn't gonna go anywhere without a fight."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We will get there in time. I'm just hoping Pidge never left her lion, just that she can't move it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Meanwhile, Keith was flying toward the market. He landed his lion somewhere inconspicuous and as soon as he stepped out, it put its shields up. "Good kitty," he said, before walking away from Red. The market was different than he had anticipated it being, open air with 'people' milling around everywhere. He hissed into his comms. "Where is she?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Hunk flew around a different place, so he could stay in his lion. He wasn't very good at making new scanning perimeters, but he still had Pidge's scans for the lions in his computer, so he used that and hoped Pidge was near the green lion. "I think if you go left and a few hundred yards over… over there, you'll find the lion?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What about Pidge?" Keith asked. He followed Hunk's instructions and rounded a corner. There, in the midst of a giant crowd of people, was the Green Lion, sitting up on a stage. How they managed to get it up there was beyond Keith. Keith looked around, but he couldn't see the stage from where he was standing./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I can't track her. I don't know how." Hunk grit his teeth. "I don't know how… What's that?" He looked at his computer and there was a little green blinking light. "Um, behind the lion. There's a light that's blinking. Maybe… it'll pop up in your helmet?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith pushed through the crowd, shoving people aside as he moved quickly toward the stage. He stopped just short of the stage upon seeing what was on stage. There, beside a band of fairly nasty looking… things, stood Pidge. She was no longer wearing her paladin armor, nor her sweatshirt. She stood before the large crowd, wrists roped together in front of her, head down, in her shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Her glasses were missing./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Keith? You're pretty close to the light, did you find Pidge? Can we get her back?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I found her," Keith said, his voice low and furious. She looked relatively unharmed, but Keith could see some nasty bruising on her arms, and the ropes on her hands were tight enough that he could see bruises and drying blood there as well./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Okay, where should I go? I can get her with my lion?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith shook his head. "I don't know. Shiro! Shiro, do you copy?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm here, Keith." He stood next to Lance. They were in line to go into whatever auction this was. "Did you find her?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Yeah. I'm going in. I might need backup though. These things look pretty fierce."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Right. Hunk, make a distraction in your lion. Then get the green lion out. Keith, grab Pidge and get out in your lion. Lance, get back to the pod and be ready for me. I'm coming in now, Keith. Move." His arm started to glow. "We're getting Pidge back."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith moved. He had to hope Hunk would provide the distraction. He summoned his bayard and leapt onto the stage, accompanied by super satisfying gasps from the audience. The yellow lion roared and rammed into one of the walls closest to the green lion. It was a pretty good distraction when the entire building class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro came in from the back his arm ready to hit and stab anyone that tried to stop him. He pushed and shoved people and fought a few as he made it towards the stage./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith made his way to Pidge and stopped in front of her. "Pidge," he said. "Are you okay?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She looked up at him, a tired look in her eyes. "Keith..."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro shoved one of the men that was obviously one of the pirate leaders, grabbing his head and slamming it against a wall. No one messed with his family./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge looked past Keith to see Shiro, his arm glowing, fighting viciously with one of the pirates. She watched for a moment, then looked down as Keith started sawing at the rope between her wrists with his knife./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro moved onto the stage; may as well help some of the other 'merchandise' so he started cutting them loose, fighting anyone that came after Pidge or Keith as a priority. "Lance, there's going to be a few extras on the pod, get ready."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith finished releasing Pidge's wrists and swung her up into his arms. He dashed back to his lion and jumped in, setting Pidge gently on the floor. "You're okay, Pidge. "We've got you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Hunk, Pidge is out, get the green lion and go!" Shiro started leading the other prisoners with him, heading towards the pod as Lance waited./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith flew his lion away as quickly as he could. The whole time he flew back to the castle, he was reassuring Pidge, who had curled up underneath the Lion's dash, hugging her knees to her chest./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHunk grabbed the green lion with the yellow lion's mouth and started back for the castle as well. Shiro kept fighting, it was getting easier. No one seemed to want to fight a pissed off Shiro after he sent several pirates through the walls./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Shiro, come on!" Lance shouted. Shiro's response was just him screaming furiously into his comms as he continued to punch everything./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Shiro!" Lance yelled again. Allura yelled into her comms as well. Shiro punched one more thing and led the rest of the captives back to the pod, helping them get in. "Go!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith flew into the bay for his lion and shut it down. Then he knelt next to Pidge. " ... are you okay?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge shook her class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro shut the pod but didn't get in. He headed back into the room to find some of the pirates. Pidge needed her glasses back./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith sat down. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have let you go. What happened?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe shook her head again, then crawled over and climbed into his lap./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith was startled. "Pidge..." he said, unsure of what to do./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanLance jumped on the comms. "I don't know if Shiro is still poisoned or just crazy, but he left the ship. Can we send him the black lion or something?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm getting Pidge's glasses back!" Shiro called through the comms. "Get out of here, Lance. I'll find my own way."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanLance was already flying the captives back to the castle. He didn't have any weapons on this ship and wasn't going to risk that many lives to help Shiro./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Pidge looked up at Keith. Shiro was getting her glasses?/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You're okay. Shiro's got you," Keith said. "Please...span class="Apple-converted-space" /span... I need to know what happened..."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I got stuck in a tractor beam." She sniffed. "I'm ok. Really...my lion kicked me out but...I think they were going to try and blow it up to get me out..." She wiped her eyes./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith took the edge of his sleeve and wiped away a little bit of blood from a cut on her forehead. He didn't care that it would stain his jacket. "What happened when they got you out?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"They took my glasses when I bit a couple of them." She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. You should go get Shiro back. I know you want to."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith stared at her for a moment. "Pidge... Right now, all I care about is you. All any of us care about is you. We've been so worried."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Can we fly together again?" She looked up at him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Not right now," Keith said. "We need to take care of you." Keith pulled her close and hugged her, sighing in relief. "God, I was so worried about you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe rested against his chest and cried a little. "No...really...you should go get Shiro."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Shiro can take care of himself," Keith said. "I need to know what happened to you. All of it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"No. Not right now."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith sighed. Pidge was as stubborn as always. "Let me see your wrists," he said after a moment./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She held up her hands. "I'll show Allura everything else." Flat as a board or not, Pidge was still a girl and didn't want to show Keith the bruises on her ribs. Keith took her wrists as gently as he could and examined them. The bruises very clearly showed where the rope had rubbed, and in places it had rubbed until her skin bled. Keith took a deep breath./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Let's get you to Allura," he said after a long moment. He helped her stand and supported her as they walked out of the lion./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Can I just stay in my lion instead? I...I won't leave?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Why, Pidge?" Keith asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She rubbed her wrists, not wanting to tell him how embarrassed she was to have to get rescued./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Come on, Pidge, it's okay. Why do you want to stay in your lion? I promise I won't tell anyone."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Because..." she sniffed, tearing up again. "Because I was stupid."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You aren't stupid, Pidge!" Keith said. "You just got caught at the wrong place and time."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I was stupid. My lion kicked me out and I got beaten up...my lion is supposed to protect me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Honestly, Katie, I think green was protecting you. Your lion was sending out a signal. Without it, we might not have found you in time. And if they had blown the lion up to get you out, it might not have been able to help you./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge bit her lip and looked down at her hands. Maybe. And maybe it had kicked her out. "I'll...I'll go see Allura now."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith helped her to her feet, her wince as she stood not lost on him. He jumped onto comms. "Allura, I'm bringing Pidge to you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Alright, once she's with me, go get Shiro." The castle was starting to take fire./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Copy," Keith said. "Come on, Pidge," he said, leading her out of her lion./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge walked with him, grabbing his arm and leaning against him, feeling absolutely miserable and in pain. They stumbled along for a few minutes but Pidge finally had a hard time keeping pace with him, and he could see pain clear on her face. He turned and carefully scooped her into his arms. "You're okay," he said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Thank you, Keith." She buried her head into his shoulder./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'm sorry I let you go," he told her. He walked as fast as he could to the bridge and upon arriving, Coran swept Pidge into a hug, not noticing her squeak of pain./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge didn't say anything but she squirmed a little. She hugged him back as Allura pulled her away and gently helped her sit down. "I'm so glad you're back, Pidge."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge just nodded. Allura turned to Keith. "Shiro. Go."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith nodded, running back to his lion and jumping in. "Good kitty, let's go get Shiro." The lion roared and sped out of the castle. "Allura, get out of here," Keith said over comms. "Shiro and I will catch up!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Allura nodded, helping Pidge sit down. "Hold on. We'll work on your injuries when we're out of range of the-" The ship took a hit. "-Those." She ran over and took the controls./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith sped back toward the market. "Shiro!" He called out. "Where are you?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro was searching for her glasses, dragging a barely conscious leader a long with him who was rather fearfully trying to remember where they were. "I'm busy Keith. Is Katie alright?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Not really," Keith said. He wasn't going to lie to Shiro. "Where are you? We need to get out of here."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'm getting her glasses." He finally found them, throwing his hostage to the floor where he scrambled away. Shiro was rather terrifying when he wanted to be. "I have them. Where are you?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'm back at the marketplace," Keith said. "But there are some pirates here and they look pissed. Hurry up, would you?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'm on my way." He headed out. Most of the people left where he was were trying to avoid Shiro, so heading back to the marketplace wasn't too difficult./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBy the time he got there, Keith lion was taking fire. He was trying his best to keep it safe without flying off and leaving Shiro behind, but Red was itching to go./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro had to take longer than he wanted. The pirates with guns were much braver than the ones he'd taken out himself. He avoided as much of the attacks as he could, though he knew his leg was grazed and a painful fire ripped through his arm. Still he managed to get over to Red who scooped him up so he could fly off./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro staggered into the cockpit and sat down heavily next to Keith. Keith kept his eyes forward, but he seemed to know that Shiro was hurt. "What happened?" He asked, his voice gruff./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I...I got Katie's glasses. I'll be alright. I'm sure I've been through worse." Shiro let Keith pilot the lion and didn't correct him on any of the moves. Keith was this lion's paladin, and a better pilot than him anyway./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Allura?" Keith asked. "Did you get the castle out? Is everyone okay?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAllura got back on comms. "Yes. We're alright. I'll send you the coordinates. But be fast, I want to wormhole away from this horrible place."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Copy," Keith said. He finally turned to look at Shiro. "We've got Pidge back, Shiro. We did okay."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You guys were amazing." He smiled. "Really… it could have only gone better if I hadn't lost it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You did fine, Shiro," Keith said. "I think we all wanted to do what you did."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I… just really care about Pidge. And I owe it to her." He sighed. "I got out and her family didn't."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Yeah, I know. But that's not your fault, Shiro. You had no choice in the matter."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"We need to do better for her." He held onto his arm as it bled./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Let's just focus on the fact that she's back," Keith said, maneuvering his lion into its hangar in the ship. Almost as soon as the bay door shut, the ship lurched, entering a wormhole./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro nodded, once they were on the ship he got out of the Red lion. "I'll head into the infirmary, get myself stitched up and maybe see if I can get Pidge's glasses back to her./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith nodded. "It's gonna be okay, Shiro. You and Pidge can work through things and..." he trailed off upon seeing the look on Shiro's face./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro was watching him. He looked tired and sad. He had things to work out with Keith too…/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith stepped up to him and put his hands on Shiro's chest. "Take care of you first. Then we can worry about Katie."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"As smart as that statement is, Keith... Katie comes first."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'll go see about her," Keith said. "Go take care of your arm. You're bleeding all over the floor."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Alright." He leaned into kiss Keith's cheek before heading off to get himself cleaned up./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith headed toward the Bridge where Allura was finishing taking care of Pidge's wounds. Keith could see dark purple bruises peeking out from under the bandages on her ribs./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge hurried and pulled her shirt back on when Keith came to check on them. "Don't look!" She yelled, still embarrassed about her wounds and from being a girl. "Jesus, don't you know how to knock?/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith threw his hands up in front of his face, covering his eyes until she got dressed. "It's the bridge," Keith said. "I didn't realize I needed to knock!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Allura helped Pidge finish getting covered. Then helped her move over to a chair. "Girls like privacy, Keith."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Sorry!" Keith said. "I figured you'd be done by now!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You can open you eyes, Keith." Pidge mumbled. "I'm all wrapped up and covered."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith lowered his hands and offered a smile. "It's good to have you back, Pidge. We missed you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "That's what everyone keeps saying." She gave him a small smile. "You got Shiro, back… is he still crazy?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"No," Keith said. "He's not. He's fine now. He was-"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"He was…?" Pidge stood up. "What did he do?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"He was poisoned, Pidge, you know that. But we put him in a pod and I… I think he's okay now."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Okay." She went over and rested her forehead on his chest. "Where is he now?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Infirmary," Keith said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Help me get there." She stayed next to him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith helped her walk and together they moved toward the infirmary. On the way there, Pidge started to cry a little. Her chest still ached, as did her ribs, and she was still kind of scared to see Shiro./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith looked at her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I have to." She mumbled, leaning against him. "I just… everything hurts right now and I'm allowed to be scared."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Of course you're allowed to be scared. It's just… if you don't feel ready…" Pidge cut him off./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I have to," she said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Alright." Keith helped her walk to the hospital./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro was half asleep, tired from fighting and his injuries. His shirt was off, showing the scars from his time as a gala prisoner, as well as his new freshly bandaged injuries. He sat up when he saw Pidge, opening his hand to show her the glasses. "Hey, how are you feeling?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge avoided his gaze and didn't move, grabbing tighter to Keith. Keith reached forward and took the glasses from Shiro. "Thanks, Shiro."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro nodded. "Matt had a picture he kept of you and him." He looked at Pidge. "He had glasses on, they looked like… I figured these meant a lot to you, Katie." He stood up, ignoring the pain he was in so he could move just a bit closer to Pidge. "I'm sorry I drove you away."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge didn't back away, but Keith felt her grip tighten on his arm. He tried to give her a reassuring smile. "C'mon, Pidge, he won't hurt you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge sniffed, looking up at Shiro. She grabbed her glasses and put them on, then, while still holding onto Keith she slammed her head into Shiro's chest, starting to cry. "You're stupid, Shiro." She didn't move./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro gently patted her back. "Yeah, I've been told that a few times."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge cried for a minute, then let go of Keith and threw her arms around Shiro, holding him tightly. He glanced at Keith, surprised, then hugged her back, gently at first. But then he couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled her in tight and lifted her off the floor and into his arms. Pidge let out a long ugly cry, but it felt good to be close to someone who'd been close to her family./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith looked around awkwardly for moment, rocking back uncomfortably on his heels. He jabbed his thumb toward the door. "Well… I'll just… uh…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPidge let go, wiping her face. "You can stay. I… should sleep… and thank Hunk and Lance."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Want me to walk you back to your room?" Keith asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge shook her head. "I think I can find my way back."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith nodded. Shiro brushed Pidge's hair away from her forehead and smiled at her. "I'm glad you're okay," he said. "And… I'm sorry… for everything."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe nodded, gently hitting his arm. "You're still an idiot. But… you're our idiot…" she hugged both of them then started off to her room./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith exhaled. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. "I'm so glad that's finally over," he sighed, collapsing onto a bed./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I… yeah," Shiro managed. "We still need to rebuild some trust. But…I'm glad she's okay." He laid back on his bed and looked at Keith. "How are you?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Exhausted," Keith said. "But I'm glad she's okay. How are you feeling? Like yourself?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I think so." He looked over at him. "I don't want to kick your ass or shove anyone in a pod again…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith had the ghost of a smile on his face. "That's good. I'm not really in the mood to fight you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'd rather sleep next to you." Shiro watched him. "Just not in here."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Shiro. "You're still…?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'm still…?" He started sitting up. "Still what?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith bit his tongue. "I thought maybe… all that was just the poison. I was worried that you…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro hurried and moved over to him, pulling Keith into a tight hug and a light kiss. "No. That was not poison."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith sighed in relief and melted into Shiro's touch. "Sorry. I shouldn't have… assumed…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kissed him again. "It's okay." He held him, happy to be near him again. "Let's... head to one of our rooms. Get some sleep."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith nodded and allowed Shiro to pull him up and out of bed. They started walking, but it seemed that Keith was walking too slow for Shiro, because Shiro scooped him up into his arms and carried him the rest of the way. He pushed through the door to his room and tossed Keith onto the bed with a yelp. Shiro laughed, moving over and climbing half way on top of him. He really was tired, and did want to sleep, but that didn't me he couldn't make himself comfortable on top of Keith./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro settled on top of Keith, leaving the smaller boy squirming underneath him. "Shiro," he tried, his voice muffled./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Hmm?" Shiro lifted his head so he could look down at his boyfriend./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Do you have to lay down on emtop/em of me?" Keith asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Yes." He grinned, leaning down to kiss him, but after a moment he conceded and rolled them over so Keith could be on top./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith yelped again at the sudden movement and manhandling. But he was on top. So that was good, he guessed./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro laughed and pulled Keith into a kiss. "Thanks for being there for Pidge."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith braced himself on his elbows and looked down at Shiro, his hair falling around his face. He took in every aspect of Shiro. The scar across his nose, the way the color danced in his eyes, the shape of his lips, the way they moved as he spoke… "Keith?" Shiro asked. Keith shook his head. He'd gotten distracted./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro didn't press for more, just moving to kiss Keith's cheek. "I love you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith smiled. "Me too. But… about you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro grinned and pulled him back down to kiss him. Keith tangled his hands in Shiro's hair and kissed him back, fiercely. "Mmm." He returned the intensity, biting at his lips. Keith felt Shiro's hands wrap around his waist and pull him flush against him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith opened his mouth when he felt Shiro trying to get in with his tongue. Shiro did so, playing with Keith's until Keith lifted his head. "I thought you were tired?" He grinned, darkly./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I was," Shiro answered, his lips turned upward playfully./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You're a horny bastard sometimes, Shiro." Keith went back to kissing him. Shiro laughed, doing the best to return the kisses. Keith slid his hands out of Shiro's hair and down his chest. He slipped his thumbs into the belt loops on Shiro's pants, kissing him all the while. Shiro pulled Keith's jacket off him, running his hands up the back of his shirt. It'd never really occurred to him that Keith would think this was an effect of poison. If it was… well… it wasn't now./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe feeling of Shiro's warm hands on his bare skin sent a shiver up Keith's spine. Shiro slid his tongue back into Keith's mouth. wanting as much as Keith would let him have. He was tired, sure, but they hadn't revisited this moment since first getting together./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith pulled away for a moment and yanked his shirt up over his head, tossing it aside. Shiro grinned, running his fingers down Keith's chest, then kissed him again. Keith wanted more than just kissing. He pulled away from Shiro's mouth, braced his hands on either side of Shiro's abdomen, and ran his tongue down the center of Shiro's chest./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Ahhh…" He let out a breath. That just made him want a lot more. He reached down and started getting Keith's pants off./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe two of them made short work of Keith's pants. Once they too were discarded on the floor, Keith started unbuttoning Shiro's pants. He grabbed the zipper in his teeth and pulled it down./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro grinned and helped Keith get his pants off. "How much, how fast?" He needed to stretch Keith out first, unless Keith pinned him down and took charge. And as much as Shiro wanted to and loved being inside him, if Keith took charge, he could do whatever he wanted./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith was panting, lust making his skin hot. "Whatever you want," he said, his voice low./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kissed him. "Then we're in the wrong position." He slid out from under him and pinned Keith face down onto his bed, straddling him. He paused for a second and just took in how much loved Keith. And how much he wanted him right then. He ran his robotic hand down his back, starting to stretch Keith out with his real hand. Keith groaned into the pillows as pain mixed with pleasure. Shiro stroked his back gently, sending electricity up and down Keith's spine. Shiro focused on his breathing so he didn't do too much too fast. Keith already knew Shiro was capable of going from zero to one hundred very quickly. Now he tried to go a little slower. So like… ninety. He leaned in and kissed Keith's neck./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hurry up," Keith groaned. "I can't- nnnggghhh- I cant wait."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You're not stretched out yet. It'll hurt, Keith."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I don't care," Keith said. "If you don't want to… then roll over and let me…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro had permission and he was more than ready. So he pulled his hand out and lined himself up before pushing into him with a moan. Keith bit his tongue hard enough that he tasted blood. It hurt like a bitch, but he wasn't going to cry out and let Shiro know that./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt was tight and Shiro loved the feeling, but wasn't getting any sort of reaction from Keith so he gently moved to try and help his stretch just a little more. "Oh… geez."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith grabbed the sheets on the bed as hard as he could. em'Don't scream, don't scream.'/em/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro pulled out. Good or not, he didn't think Keith liked it. "You alright?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith had sweat pouring down his face. He took a deep breath. "I'm fine," he managed, swallowing the taste of blood from his tongue./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"No, that was too fast." He turned him over and kissed him. "Felt good but… not at your expense."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Don't worry about me, Shiro. I'm fine," he lied./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro shook his head, leaning over and kissing his cheek and shoulder. "We don't have to have sex, Keith. I still love you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I want to, though," Keith said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro nodded. "Alright. But we're going to do it right." He flipped Keith over and kissed him. He knew Keith would get upset if he freaked out over the taste of blood on his lips, so Shiro didn't say anything. They could make out and Shiro could stretch him out completely before going at him again./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith didn't like going slow, even though going fast hurt. "Just… fuck me, Shiro. Please."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"In a second." Shiro didn't understand why Keith was in such a hurry. He slid a finger in, working on stretching him out again./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I want you," Keith said. "I want you so badly… I can't stand it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You can last a couple more minutes." He kissed his shoulder. "And if I take it slow I can have you longer."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith moaned. "You're so hot, Shiro," he said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You're pretty sexy yourself." Shiro pushed another finger in. "And I can't wait for you to enjoy this, too."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith arched his back, gripping the sheets tightly in his fists. He buried his face in the pillows and moaned again. Shiro kept reminding himself to keep it slow. He really did want to put his piece back into Keith, but really didn't like causing so much pain. He took a slow breath and remember the taste of blood while he worked Keith some more. "One of these days I might let you try me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith chuckled, the sound a little strained. "Yeah?" he asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Pretty sure you're going to try it at some point. May as well let you know I won't stop you." He grinned and kissed the back of his neck, sliding in another finger./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith groaned, this time unable to keep the sound in his throat. That hurt. Shiro slowed a little, careful to work him. "Do you like pain?" He asked, not trying to speak dirty, he just wondered./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith gasped for air. He knew Shiro wasn't trying to talk dirty but holy quiznak… "Yes," he gasped./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro frowned. He didn't like it much. "I guess… that's why you want it to hurt."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith shook his head. "I just can't wait," he managed. "I don't want to wait. I don't care what it takes."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Be patient." He'd nearly gotten Keith to where he was willing to try again. He kissed all over his back and put his free hand into his hair./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThen Shiro did something that surprised Keith. He grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled. It hurt, but only a little. Keith gasped./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro worked him a bit longer, pulling his hair whenever he thought what he was doing to Keith's ass might hurt a bit more than Shiro wanted to think about. "Mmm... I think you might be ready." Shiro certainly still was, he practically ached from wanting to fuck him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Then do it," Keith said. "Please!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro nodded, pulling his hand out and putting his cock in quickly. He moaned, grabbing Keith's hips and pulling to help him go in deeper./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith groaned at the feeling. He bucked his hips backward, wanting more. He was impatient, and Shiro was going too slow for him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Ahh…" He moved back and forth. His breath getting shaky. "Shit…" He moved his hands to pull Keith's hair. "Am I supposed to make you scream or something?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Don't. We don't need anyone walking in on us," Keith said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Then don't make it hard for me not to." He laughed, putting his hands onto his shoulders and starting to move back and forth quickly, nearly pulling out so he could push in harder./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith pressed his face into the pillow. He could feel a lot of sounds building up in his throat, but he didn't want to vocalize them. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore, and he groaned loudly. "Shiro…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kept going, grunting a bit but it felt too good to want to stop. "Mmm?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith gasped for breath as Shiro struck something that sent pleasure screaming through his body. Shiro kept at him. He wasn't one to want to hurt Keith, but making him breathless was fun. Keith was speechless too. He didn't know what he would say, even if he could. He bucked backward again. emFaster/em, he class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro moaned again, pushing back as much as he could./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith wanted to kiss Shiro. He wanted to look at him. He squirmed, turning over with Shiro still inside him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro shoved him back onto his stomach, roughly. He couldn't move properly when Keith tried to kiss him. "Let me get you off first."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Shiro," Keith whined./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kept at him, trying to get him to go breathless again. "Mmm?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith's mind turned to mush as Shiro once again struck that sweet spot, so his sentence went something like this: "Shiro, Immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmygod." He whined as his entire body shuddered and he came, flushing a light purple./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro held his position for a moment, then pulled out of him and rolled Keith over, then rolled them both over so Keith was on top. "Good?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith panted, then nodded./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro pulled him down for a kiss. "Good, then get me off, too." He winked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith nodded again, taking another moment to take his breath, then smiled, in a way that made Shiro a little apprehensive. Keith put his hands on the bed and slide down, until he was eye level with Shiro's pelvis./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro paused. "Shouldn't… uh… you… wash that?" He'd really more expected Keith to use his hands./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith chuckled, his voice a little rough, then opened his mouth and took Shiro in./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro cried out from pleasure. "Keith… Keith!" Keith deep throated Shiro, not even giving him a chance to get used to the feeling first. Shiro kept calling his name until the calls went silent and he came into Keith's mouth. Keith swallowed all of it with a wicked grin, then pulled off of Shiro and laid down on his chest. Their sweat slick skin stuck together and heat sang between them./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro put his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "Well… we need to do that again at some point."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith smiled. "Yeah," he said. "We do."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro pulled him closer, closing his eyes. "You're exhausting, Keith."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "And you're exasperating," Keith replied./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"For what exactly?" He mumbled, starting to fall asleep./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You're too slow in getting me off, but too fast when it comes to getting yourself off," Keith said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I'll suck you off next time, see how you like it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith chuckled, his voice low and velvety. "Language, Takashi," he chided./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro snorted. "You asked me to fuck you. Pretty sure you should watch you're language, too."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith laughed, this time mostly because Shiro snorted and it was always funny when he did that. "I guess you're right," he said. "Still. You'd think you could hold out a little longer than that. I'm not emthat/em good at blowjobs."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I was still on edge from being inside you." He lifted Keith's head and kissed him. "I'll hold it in next time."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith kissed him back, then rolled out of bed. "I should go back to my room," he said, reaching for his clothes./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I guess." Shiro muttered, not wanting him to go. "See you in a few hours."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Don't mope, Takashi," Keith said with a smile. "It's not a good color on you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Not moping. I just want to cuddle with my boyfriend." He smiled. "You help with the nightmares."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You're definitely moping, Shiro," Keith said. He pulled his shirt on over his head. "But if you really want me to…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I do, but I'm not going to force you to stay near me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Shiro," Keith said, his voice suddenly serious and a little concerned. "You know you're not forcing me to do anything."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"I know… I just… just want to make sure you're enjoying this."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith laughed. "Are you kidding me? Do you seriously think I don't enjoy this?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Just a fear I have. Stemming from having no idea that you'd kiss me back." He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sure I have extra white hairs from that."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You ought to know me better than that by now, Shiro."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Well, if you don't enjoy it I'll have to wonder why you gave me a blowjob." He snorted again. "Alright, alright, go back to your room."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith nodded. "Goodnight, Shiro." He left the room, closing the door behind him. He turned away from the door and jumped, startled./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro sighed, laying back onto his bed, maybe they should just tell everyone in Voltron. Then they could spend their sleep periods together and no one would wonder./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith looked around, looking for an out, but he could find none. "Umm..." he stammered, looking for an explanation. "Want to tell me what emthat/em was all about?" Lance asked, leaning against the wall with an eyebrow cocked, his gaze on Keith. Keith shook his head and started to push past him, but Lance grabbed his shoulder. "Dude, Keith, I can see it on your face. And your mullet. Kind of obvious." He frowned. "Why are you and Shiro still fighting?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith was super confused. "We're… what makes you think we were fighting?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"You look all serious and your hair is messed up, so either you're still fighting or you're hiding something from us and… um… getting your hair messed up?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith looked helplessly at Lance. What was he supposed to tell him? He sidestepped Lance again. "It's nothing," he muttered./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanLance shook his head, not letting Keith walk off. "It's not nothing. What's going on?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith whirled on him, suddenly angry at his prying. "Nothing is going on!" he snapped. "Let me go."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Well… I mean… " Lance thought a second while things connected. "Are you guys… together?" It hadn't occurred to him at first because… girls./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith was stunned./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Well?" Lance looked him over./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Look, Lance…" Keith struggled for words. He hadn't been planning on explaining this to anyone. Not tonight./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Right… okay. I won't ask." He sighed. "Well, I won't ask right emnow/em. I'll bug you later. Shiro said no secrets with Voltron, so we should know."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith stared at Lance as he moved his hand to let him pass. He stayed rooted to the spot./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanLance rolled his eyes and headed off, leaving a stunned Keith to do whatever./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith watched Lance leave, then stood there for a few more minutes before he turned and walked back into Shiro's room./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro was laying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling while thinking about sleep and Keith. "Mmm?" He glanced at the door. "Keith? Why're you back?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith stared at him with a deer in headlights look./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro hurried and got up, going over to him. "What is it? Are you okay?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith pointed at the door. "Lance…" he said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Lance?" Shiro looked at the door. "Is he sick? Did we poison him, too?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith shook his head. "He was… outside…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro's eyes went wide. "He what?" He staggered backward. "Why? What does he know? What did he hear?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I don't…" Keith gasped a breath. "Shit, Shiro, what do we do?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "If he knows, he knows, and we tell everyone. You kissed me in front of Coran and Allura. It's not going to kill us if people know." He just didn't like the idea very much. He preferred to be private in these kinds of things./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I just… oh my god, Shiro, he heard us!" Keith said, still kinda in shock./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Deep breath." He took Keith's hand. "We'll make it work."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith tried to take a deep breath, but he was panicking. Hard. "Shiro!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kissed him. "Want me to talk to him… and everyone?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"What are you going to say?" Keith asked, his voice quiet./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Depends. I… was going to tell them we're dating."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith scoffed, the sound a little bitter. "Lance knows what we're doing is more than dating," he said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Then I'll tell them we're a couple. I prefer to keep this kind of stuff private, but I'll tell them. One because they know and two because it'll help build trust within Voltron. I hope."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith looked at him for a long time. "Okay," he finally conceded. "Okay."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShiro kissed him. "You come first to me Keith."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Well that's nice," Keith said. "Though it's not like you to come second." He gave him a sly look./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Ha." Shiro rolled his eyes. "You… are… ugh. I love you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"No, come on. Say it. I am…?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span"Incorrigible." He kissed him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKeith laughed, some of the tension disappearing from his shoulders./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro hugged him. "I'll pull everyone into a meeting and get it over with."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Should I be there?" Keith asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro closed his eyes for a moment, in thought. "I think it would be best," he said eventually. "But that's only if you're comfortable."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith nodded. "I agree that it would be best. When?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "In the morning," Shiro decided./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith took a deep breath. "Okay," he managed. Then Keith climbed into the bed and settled with his back against Shiro's chest. Shiro paused for a moment, a little surprised, but then he moved his arms to wrap around Keith, settling down on the pillow and breathing in the scent of the younger boy's hair./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I was worried about you today," he said after a few minutes./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith took a deep breath, and Shiro could feel it in detail as he did so, his body pressing closer to him. "I was worried about Pidge," Keith admitted. "It wasn't until she mentioned you that it even crossed my mind. I'm sorry…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro shook his head. "Don't be," he said. "It was selfish of me to be worried about anything other than Katie."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith waited for a moment before answering. "If you say so. But it doesn't matter. She's home safe, we're all home safe. She'll heal."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro flinched, hard enough that Keith rolled over to see if he was alright. "I didn't even think about whether she was injured. Damn it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Don't beat yourself up, Shiro. It's been a long day." Keith brushed Shiro's hair out of his face, gently. "Let's get some sleep. Please."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro nodded and tilted his head into Keith's hand. "I'm happy you're here," he said quietly. "You keep the nightmares away."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith gave him a tiny smile. "I'm just doing my job," he whispered. After a moment, he turned back over, and Shiro pulled him closer, enveloping him in his scent and warmth. In this position, they fell asleep./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Upon waking, Shiro noticed that Keith was gone. He sat up and looked around for a moment, before he determined that Keith was not in the room. He wondered, briefly, if he'd dreamt their conversation the night before. Finally, he rolled out of bed and got dressed, preparing himself to tell the team officially about him and class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He made his way to the dining room, where he found Lance and Pidge chatting class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Pidge," Shiro said, stopping just inside the doorway. He was cautious, knowing he still had a long way to go to get Pidge's trust back. Then he noticed the strange look Lance was giving him, and he faltered, feeling his cheeks grow a little warmer. Lance definitely suspected something./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge didn't meet Shiro's gaze. "Hey, Shiro," she said, much of her energy fading. She had her arms crossed protectively over her chest, and a new bruise had flowered on her jaw overnight. Shiro looked down, then steeled himself and stepped forward, class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Are you feeling alright?" he asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge nodded slowly, glancing at him briefly. "I'm… sore…" she said, clasping her hands in front of her. Her sleeves slid up just enough to reveal bloody bandages around her wrists. Shiro flinched./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'd… like to apologize again," he said slowly. "For everything. For the way I treated you, and the way I talked to you, and for everything that happened because of my actions. I hope you'll be able to trust me again soon, Pidge. Until then, I'll try to only do what makes you comfortable… Can I come in and get something to eat?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Pidge shrugged meekly. Lance narrowed his eyes a little. "Hey, Shiro, don't act like we all think you're a criminal," he said. "Where's Keith this morning."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro gritted his teeth. "I don't know," he said, stepping further into the room, slowly, keeping his eyes on Pidge. "I haven't seen him."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Lance looked skeptical, but he said nothing more. Shiro made his way to the counter and put some food goo on his plate, then sat down at the table, as far away from Pidge as he could, so she would be comfortable. He picked at his food, but the silence in the room unnerved him. Finally, Lance stood and helped Pidge to her feet./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We'll see you later, Shiro," Lance said. "We're gonna go play video games, if you need us."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro nodded and watched them leave, holding his spoon somewhat dejectedly over his plate. "See you," he said after they'd disappeared. He finished his food and stared at the plate for a long while before he stood and set the plate on the counter. He took a deep breath and turned around, jumping upon seeing Keith standing just behind him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Gah!" he yelped./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith said nothing, and just smiled at him. Shiro took a moment to calm his heart rate. "Keith! Phew, how long have you been standing there? You scared me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith still remained silent, continued to smile, and stepped forward a little./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Keith?" Shiro asked. "Are you alright?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm fine, Shiro," Keith said after a moment, his voice low. He took another step forward, getting even closer to Shiro. He gently ran his hands down Shiro's arms, then moved them to press against his chest. "I'm fine, Shiro," he said again, almost exactly as before./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" A tiny part of Shiro's mind told him something was off, but he pushed it aside at Keith's closeness. He took hold of Keith's wrists and pulled him close. "Where'd you go this morning?" he asked. "I was worried."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm fine, Shiro." Again. Just as before. Still, Shiro took no notice. Keith tilted his head up and kissed Shiro's jaw. Shiro couldn't help but smile a little. He loved it when Keith was class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He took Keith's waist and pulled him close, pressing his pelvis against Keith's and rocking slightly. He caught Keith's lips with his own and kissed him, fiercely. "I'm so in love with you," Shiro muttered as he kissed him, again and again. Keith reached up and took Shiro's hair in his hands, pulling on it as he kissed him. Shiro remembered that Keith liked it when his hair was pulled and he quickly took it in his fist and yanked. It was almost as if Keith didn't feel it. He offered no reaction./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro moved to pull away, growing a little concerned. It wasn't like Keith not to react. Keith grabbed the back of Shiro's head and forced him close again, kissing him with renewed energy. Shiro melted into Keith once again, bobbing his head forward to keep up with Keith's kissing. Keith's right hand stayed on Shiro's head, holding him close, while his left hand began to explore. Shiro felt Keith's hand run along his chest, down to his abdomen. He brushed across Shiro's ass and then stopped at his crotch, grabbing him with sudden, painful strength. Shiro yelped and tried once again to break their kiss, but Keith's grip on his head was almost inhuman. "Keith," Shiro mumbled. "Stop."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith tilted his head down a little, breaking their kiss just long enough to say, almost robotically, "I'm fine, Shiro." And before Shiro could say anything, Keith smashed their mouths together again. His hand began to roughly squeeze and grab at Shiro's crotch, despite Shiro's muffled protests. Shiro tried shoving Keith away, snarling at him to stop, that he didn't want this, but Keith's grip was immovable. Keith rubbed at Shiro's crotch with more vigor. Shiro started yelling. He had no idea what was going on, but he couldn't break away from Keith. "Keith," he yelled, his voice muddled by Keith's mouth on his. "Stop!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith shoved Shiro backward, moving with him, keeping his grip on him firm. They crashed against the wall, Shiro hitting hard, but Keith's grip never faltered. He moved his hand to the button on Shiro's pants and started to skillfully undo it, without a single slip up, even as Shiro thrashed in his grip./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Mmph!" Shiro grunted as he felt his pants loosen. Still, Keith pressed on. He worked Shiro's pants down around his knees, almost gracefully, all the while keeping his tight hold on Shiro's head, not allowing him to break their kiss. Shiro was fighting as hard as he could now, punching Keith wherever he could reach, but the red paladin did not budge. Shiro felt Keith's cold, rough hand slid under the waistband of his underwear, then heard a shout from the other side of the room./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Keith!" Shiro's ears were ringing with panic, and he couldn't quite tell who had yelled. Lance, maybe? Keith's hand stopped moving, but he didn't cease his kissing, nor did the graceful roll of his hips against Shiro's falter or lose tempo./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Keith, what are you doing?" Lance. It was definitely Lance. Shiro grunted against Keith's mouth, trying to push away. "Keith, stop it!" Lance shouted, stepping forward. "Let him go! What the fuck is wrong with you? He said stop!"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith continued, ignoring him. Shiro felt Keith move backward as Lance grabbed him and yanked him backward. "Keith, stop!" Then Shiro heard the sound of a bayard being summoned. "If you don't let him go right now, I'll shoot you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" All at once, Keith stopped moving. He kept his grip as tight as ever, but he tilted his head down a little again, finally releasing Shiro from their kiss. "You'll shoot me?" Keith asked, his voice low and, sickeningly, amused. "Do it, then." He grabbed Shiro's dick under his underwear, hard enough that Shiro hissed in pain. "I'm not letting go."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Keith," Lance said again, his voice furious and shaking. Shiro thrashed again, but Keith did not let go. "Keith, please. I don't want to shoot you. Not if I can help it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Do it," Keith growled again. He chuckled, the sound low in his throat, bordering on a growl./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro heard Lance take a deep breath. "Lance," he managed, his voice breathless and shamelessly frightened. "Don't shoot him. Please, I'm begging you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Shiro, he's-" Lance's voice caught in his throat. "He's molesting you. I have to do something."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Keith laughed again, louder this time as his hold tightened even further around Shiro's crotch. "Shoot me, then," he said. "I'm not letting go."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Keith, please," Shiro said quietly. "What's gotten into you? You're not like this."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm fine, Shiro," Keith said again, and this time Shiro knew there was something wrong with him. The words, the tone, the delivery of the sentence, all of it had been identical each time. Keith pressed his mouth against Shiro's again, harder than ever before, and resumed his rhythmic undulation against Shiro's class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro squeezed his eyes shut as he heard Lance's gun power up, and he flinched when he heard the blue paladin fire. Keith pulled away momentarily. "You missed," he said, amused./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Let him go," Lance demanded. He moved forward and shoved his gun up against Keith's head. "I won't miss again."/span/p 


	21. Keith

p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro squirmed and groaned as Keith snickered at Lance and resumed his actions. Lance squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the trigger on his gun, sending a laser straight through Keith's skull. The red paladin glitched and disappeared, leaving Shiro free, at last. Shiro dropped to the floor, shocked, trying not to let tears into his eyes./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Lance…" he moaned. "Lance, how could you? How could you shoot him?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "That wasn't Keith," Lance said, visibly shaken. "Did you see how he glitched and disappeared? If that were the real Keith, he'd be bleeding on the floor right now. That wasn't Keith and there was something majorly wrong with whatever it was."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro could hardly focus over the ringing in his ears. He felt Lance's hand on his shoulder. "Look, Shiro, I know you're scared. But believe me, I wouldn't have fired if I wasn't sure it wasn't Keith. Besides, Keith would never do that. Ever."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Lance…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I know about you two," Lance continued. "I overheard you… last night… I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just couldn't help myself." Lance took Shiro's forearm in his hand and tried to help him to his feet. "Come on," he said gently. "Let's get your pants back on and figure out where Keith is… and where that thing came from."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro was shaking, but he managed to stand and pull his pants back up. He looked at Lance and gave him a weak smile. "Thank you for stopping it, Lance," he said. "Now lets go find Keith. The real Keith."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Together, they moved through the castle, searching every room. Finally, Shiro started to panic. "He's not here. He's nowhere in the castle."span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Lance looked perplexed. "This doesn't make any sense. I know that Keith in the kitchen wasn't real…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Let's see if any of the rest of the team has seen him," Shiro said. "And Lance?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Yeah?" Lance said, looking at him class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Could you… not tell everyone what happened? I don't…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Don't worry," Lance said. "I won't tell them what that thing did. That's not something they need to know. We can just tell them that it attacked you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Thank you, Lance," Shiro said. "And once again, thank you again for saving me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No problem, Shiro. I'm just worried about Keith… what if something happened to him?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro looked at Lance for a moment, then turned his gaze forward. "I really hope not."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" They made their way to the bridge and found Allura and Coran helping Hunk with some of the altean tech. "Has anyone seen Keith?" Shiro asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The team looked up at Shiro and Lance. "I haven't seen him since yesterday," Hunk said. "Why?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Lance and Shiro exchanged a glance. "Keith attacked Shiro in the kitchen a few minutes ago," Lance said. "But it wasn't Keith. I shot him with my bayard and he disappeared… almost like a hologram…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Everyone looked at Shiro. "Are you alright, Shiro? What happened?" Allura asked, being the first to find her voice./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm alright," Shiro said. "But we can't find the real Keith anywhere. I'm worried."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Coran stood up. "Let me scan the ship. He may just be somewhere you haven't looked yet. We should look into how the false Keith got into the castle as well."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Just as Coran pressed some buttons on the console, the main screen lit up and Zarkon was staring back at them./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Paladins of Voltron," he class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "That's never good," Lance grumbled. "What do you want, Fart-con?" He chuckled a little. "Heh. Fart-con. Nice."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Perhaps you have noticed," Zarkon continued, unfazed, "that the Red Paladin you brought home with you last quintet was not the Red Paladin you left with."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Shiro paled, his blood running cold. "No," he managed. He stepped forward. "Where is Keith?! What have you done with him? Why?!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Zarkon laughed. "Rest assured, Champion. Your red paladin is in good hands. We will take care of him until we see you again. Until then," Zarkon smiled, which was gross and creepy, and stepped aside to show Keith, bound hand and foot, hanging from the ceiling by a rope around his ankles. Blood was dripping steadily from his head, pooling on the floor. He was pale and thin. Shiro bit his lip. Keith looked like they'd had him for weeks. He was unmoving, and as his body slowly spun around, Shiro could see a gag around his mouth, and his eyes were closed. He was clearly unconscious. The video feed ended abruptly, just in time for Shiro to collapse to his knees, a sob ripping its way out of his throat./span/p 


	22. Nothing To Be Done

p class="p1"span class="s1""Keith!" Lance shouted. He slammed his fist on the console. "Damn it! How did they capture him? When?!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""What do they want with him?" Pidge class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"Shiro's ears were ringing. emHow long had he been with them? Was what they did the previous night…? Was that the same Keith Lance had shot down today? /emShiro sobbed again. "Why?" he growled. "When did this happen? Why him? Why him again? Why is it always Keith?" He pulled himself off the floor and activated his galra arm, slamming it in to the nearest console. "Why is is always him?!"/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Lance took his arm, trying to calm him down. "It's alright, Shiro. We'll get him back. Allura, what should we do?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Allura was already typing away at the console. "I'm not sure. I don't even know how they managed to capture him." Shiro glared at the class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Hail a frequency," he ordered. "We're going to bargain."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Shiro, hold on a second. We should think about this before we make any rash decisions," Coran class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Coran, that is my boyfriend they have hanging like a slab of meat there. We emhave /emto get him back!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Boyfriend?" Hunk asked after a moment of stunned silence. "Since when?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Pidge adjusted her glasses. "Remember when Shiro had us all go bond with our lions? And he and Keith went together?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Yeah…" Hunk said, still not quite class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""They bonded, alright," Pidge said, casting a somewhat accusatory glare at Shiro. "Just not with their lions."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""And you were going to tell us this… when, exactly?" Hunk asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Lance shook his head. "That doesn't matter right now. We don't need to be arguing. Shiro, we need to wait for a second and think this through. Keith is strong. He'll hold out for a few minutes while we figure out what to do. Allura, is there any way to track where the message came from?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Allura tapped furiously at the console. "I'm looking. Coran! I need you to find the last time the castle registered Keith's authentic life signal. If you run it perpendicular to the signature from Keith today, you may be able to find when he disappeared."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Yes, princess," Coran said, pulling up his own console. Shiro sat down, bouncing his leg anxiously./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""We need a plan," he said. "Some way to get Keith out of there."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""We can't do anything until we know where he is," Allura said./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Shiro groaned. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know that. I'm just worried."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""We all are," Lance said. "You think any of us want to see Keith strung up like that? I don't even like him and I'm worried."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Shiro nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Allura projected her screen for all of them to see. "The signal is ghosted, but I've found five possible locations. We'll need to pinpoint which one before we try any sort of rescue mission."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""How do we do that?" Shiro asked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Allura looked down, biting her lip. "We'll have to wait for another message from Keith's captors."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Shiro's heart hit the floor. "No. No, we can't. We can't just leave him there!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""We have no choice!" Allura snapped suddenly. "If you believe that I want to leave him there, you're wrong, Shiro! But we all know that mounting five full scale attacks with no knowledge of if he's even at those locations is a terrible idea. We could lose a battle and all of Voltron. Or they could move him around until they capture all of us."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Shiro fumbled for a response. "So we just leave him? Sacrifice him for the good of the team?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Lance shook his head. "No one ever said anything about sacrificing him. They'll keep him alive as long as they think he's a useful bargaining chip. That gives us time."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Who knows what they could do to him…" Shiro said. "While we just sit around and wait for Zarkon to call again…"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""We have no choice," Allura said. "Coran, have you found anything yet?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""Yes, princess. According to the castle scans, the last time the real Keith set foot in this castle was just before he headed to the marketplace to look for Pidge."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""That was only yesterday," Shiro said. "Why the hell does he already look so bad?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Coran and Allura exchanged a glance, and Lance looked a little concerned./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""I'm a little worried that the way he looks isn't because of the Galra," Lance said after a moment./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""What do you mean?" Hunk asked, looking between Lance and Shiro./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1""I mean… maybe he did it to himself… And no one noticed until now…"/span/p 


End file.
